Monday, December 29, 2008

The Josh Bard Experiment: Part Two

So Josh Bard has been signed to a one-year, non-guaranteed deal? Interesting. Does this mean anything at all for the status of Jason Varitek and his possible return to Boston? Goodness, I hope not. For as bad as Tek is at bat, I adore him, and find it very very hard to stop adoring him. He was the one that really got me hooked onto baseball, but good. I don't want to see him in another uniform, and it hurts me to know that I can't do anything about it.

Josh Bard isn't a bad player. In the short time we had him before, he hit pretty well, even if he couldn't catch a knuckleball. The thing I didn't like about him was... he replaced Dougie, and that's just not cool by me. Now, Dougie's gone for good, and we had no catchers, and Bard had a terrible offensive year last year, so it just makes sense to bring him in.

I can't decide if I think it's a brilliant move or if it irks me when Theo lets the free agents who had good years in the previous season sign with any other team (usually the Yankees) and he goes after the free agents who had terrible years the season before, banking on a bounce-back year. Or he'll pick up players that all other teams got rid of because they just couldn't do it, and expect gold. He does get lucky with these signings once in a while, but I fear that he's getting too used to signing these type of players. The two guys that Theo's dragged into the mix this week, Bard and Brad Penny, both had down years in '08. I know that he's signing them while their value is down, hoping that it'll go back up, but doesn't there come a time when you have to stop shouting "hit me!" at the blackjack dealer, especially if you're already holding a pair of tens. Chances are, you're more likely not to get that ace than you are to get 21.

Now that I've lost myself in my own analogy, I'll close this by saying... Bard is no Dougie, but I guess he'll do.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Brett Farve: Is how it should be spelled

I hate that the Patriots' season depends on old man Favre.

Red Sox are close to signing Brad Penny for a year... because he, apparently, is a fabulous catcher.

Randy Johnson signed with the Giants.

Everything else is relatively slow. Waiting.... waiting.... waiting....

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Good, I'm glad he's a Yankee

It just seems so appropriate that Teixiera would be a Yankee... and convenient.

I am aware I'm in the minority, but I was not willing to give up Mike Lowell for this guy after rallying so hard to keep Mikey in a Sox uniform just one short year ago. I ADORE Mike Lowell. I don't even like Teixiera, despite the fact that everyone else seems to think he's the second coming of Jesus - complete with water-to-wine abilities.

Truth is, he was never going to sign with the Red Sox. If that wasn't obvious by the little charade he put on, then people aren't paying enough attention. We were three runs away from the world series this year with an ambulance full of injured guys. If MT wanted to go to a winner, he would have signed here, but he held out until the Yankees made an offer. He wanted to go to New York. We weren't going to woo him.

Strangely enough, I got a text message yesterday from someone saying "Looks like Teixiera is going to sign with the Sox," to which I promptly replied "F*&k Teixiera. I hope he signs with the Yankees." And then a half an hour later, the story was picked up that MT agreed to sign with the Yanks. Considering I harbor great dislike for both entities (MT and Yanks), it's just so much more convenient for me to focus all of that hatred in one direction. I really don't like hating guys on my own team.

So everyone can cry and moan that eMpTy is going to be a Yankee, and how they're gobbling up all the free agents on the market. But don't worry, it won't get them anywhere. A team of all stars hasn't won a championship for them yet. What makes you think it's going to work this time?

As for me, knowing that Mikey is going to hang around makes this a very Merry Christmas indeed!

PS - Kevin Cash has also signed with the Yankees... and we still haven't even got one catcher. Seriously, Theo, it's time to get shit done. Not that I wanted Kevin Cash back, but still. Actually, for the same reasons I'm happy eMpTy is on the Yanks, I will also be happy that Cash is on the Yanks. Yay for clumping all the people I dislike together! Do they happen to want Lugo too?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Tidbits for a Terrible Monday

This Hot Stove season... it keeps simmering out right when it seems like it's going to warm up. Blame Scott Boras.

My Favorite sports-related people of the weekend:

1) Wes Welker - Best announcing job of the Pats game "Wes Welker has four receptions, one touchdown, and one snow angel." His snow angel was one of the most smile-inducing things I witnessed all weekend.

2) Jon Lester - For winning the TYIB award for his no-hitter. Yay!

3) Rajon Rondo - I honestly just adore Rondo. Really I do!

4) Brett Farve - That was a great Jets game.

My Least favorite sports related people this weekend:

1) Mark Teixiera - If I never hear his name again, it'll be all too soon.

2) Scott Boras - If I never hear his name again, it'll be all too soon.

3) The refs who called an unsportsman-like conduct penalty on Welker - come on! Snow angels are NOT unsportsmanlike.

I guess that's it. Sorry, no news isn't always good news.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Winter Meetings Make Me Happy

At least there's something to talk about now! Let's see where we are with free agents...

1) Fatass Fraud Sabbathia signed with the Yankees. I can't imagine a better destination for him. Have you seen the way he performs in the playoffs? I bet him and A-Rod will be bunking together before long... I give this transaction an A, because I'm just so damn happy that we didn't get stuck with him!

2) K-Rod signed with the Mets. Good for him. I mean, for an overrated stat, teams are really putting value into this whole 'saves' thing, aren't they? I will miss him, as the Sox tend to have fantastic luck against him in the playoffs. I guess if we happen to meet the Mets in the World Series, we'll be in good shape. I give this transaction a B.

3) The Mets acquire JJ Putz from Seattle. Can't say that I blame them for shoring up their bullpen, considering how eye-bleedingly terrible it had been. Two top-tier closers? Good idea, Mets. Hey, if Seattle wants to give him up, why not take him? For the Mets, they get an A-... not many really good closers want to be forced into a set-up position. We'll see how it works out for them.

4) The Red Sox have made Captain an undisclosed offer. Boras insists that there's a huge market for Varitek. Captain may be coming back after all, when he has no other options left. Do the right thing, Boras, get your client a job. And then spontaneously combust. Thanks.

5) The Yankees are trying their hardest to woo Derek Lowe, AJ Burnett, Ben Sheets, and just about anything else with an arm (including, apparently, Manny Ramirez. Hey, he has an arm...). They'll probably land Burnett, but I doubt they'll end up with all of them.

6) John Smoltz is considering the Red Sox, and a few other teams. I don't know about this... I mean, I've always liked John Smoltz, but he's not getting any younger and he just came off shoulder surgery. I assume if we don't offer him some kind of contract, the Yankees will. If we do somehow end up with Smoltz, I won't be mad.

7) Theo is also continuing the process of drooling all over Teixeira. He wants him bad. I haven't seen Theo want anyone this bad since Drew. And we all know how that ended... I don't care how good Tex is, I don't like him, and I don't want him on the Sox. Knowing that I have absolutely no say in that annoys me. His face just bothers me. Especially if we end up having to trade Mikey because of signing Tex, I will never be able to root for him. I just couldn't do it. Even if there were two outs and the bases loaded in the 9th inning of game 7 of the world series, and the Sox were down by a run, I couldn't cheer for him. I just couldn't... because I don't like him.

8) Lolo... AKA Mark Loretta has agreed to sign with the Dodgers pending a physical. Good luck, Lolo!

9) Jarrod Saltalamacchia still wants to come to Boston. The Sox are looking into Andy Pettitte and Rocco Baldelli. Theo doesn't want to trade Buchholz. Or Masterson. Or Ellsbury... or just about anyone with any form of talent on our team (except, possibly Mike Lowell... damnit!), and he's expecting to get anything done? Ok.

10) The Red Sox are also showing interest in Carl Pavano. Strangely enough, so are the Yankees... oh wait, not strange. He's got an arm, too. I could have sworn they tried the Pavano experiment already. The Sox are also interested in Brad Penny. I'll bet a dollar that the Yankees are too!

11) I heard a rumor somewhere that the Yankees were trading Melky Cabrera to the Brewers for Mike Cameron.

12) Another rumor says that the Red Sox and Diamondbacks are conversing over a Lugo-for-Byrnes deal. Dear God, please let it happen. All I want for Christmas is to lose Lugo!

Most importantly... Theo told Jay Payton's agent that he is not interested in bringing Payton back. Thank God. Cookie points for Theo...

In other news - thoughts and prayers go out to Matt Cassel and his family after the sudden death of his father.

My thoughts also go to the Patriots, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot and now potentially go into Sunday's game vs. the Raiders with no quarterback who's played at all this season... I think they also lost Bruschi. And probably two other guys. So it looks like Belichick will be at QB on Sunday... but none of that is Cassel's fault. He needs to take the time to be with his family, and I understand that. Football comes second.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I ask for news, I get news

According to Ken Rosenthal, the Red Sox and Dustin Pedroia have just agreed to a six-year deal worth about $40 million. The Red Sox are buying out Dustin's first two years of free agency, and offering an option year for 2015.

Good for Munchkin! At the same time, I worry that this now makes him trade bait. Not that Theo would be stupid enough to give a GG, Silver Slugger, AL MVP away just because he can, but I worry. I really do want Munchkin around until 2015 and beyond if necessary. I also think Pedroia could have gotten more money out of them, but what's done is done (assuming it is actually done, because it's not official yet)

Now lets hand out some catcher contracts!

Update: Wow, ok... so I missed that whole Matt Holliday being traded to Oakland thing. Where the hell was I?

Hot Stove Season is Killing Me

I can't be the only one who is jonesin' for some kind of trade or free agent signing. No giant acquisition at Thanksgiving again this year... sigh. The Red Sox FO and their tight-lipped process sort of bugs me, not because I think it's a bad practice, but because I seriously cannot be expected to quit baseball cold turkey for four months. I need something to get me through... something like a 12 step program. You don't take away an addict's drugs at the pinnacle of their addiction and say "You'll get these back in four months. See ya!"... there has to be a middle ground. There has to be some sort of process to slowly ween us off baseball. Going from exciting playoff games to nothing? Harsh.

Junichi Tazawa is nice and all, but he's not the fix I need.

They've also signed Billy Traber to a minor league contract. And they don't want Rafael Furcal. Wonderful. Could we get some real news in here, please?

So, in non-player-related news... the Red Sox will be selling bricks. If you buy a ridiculously overpriced brick, you are guaranteed an opportunity to buy tickets for '09. But of course, you have to enter a lottery to be eligible to buy a brick. What is this world coming to when you can't even buy a brick without a stupid lottery? Bad Larry Lucchino!

Sox ticket prices will remain the same this year, but it will still be just as ridiculous trying to get tickets. Luckily for me, I didn't have a hard time getting tickets last year, although my friends probably wondered what happened to me when I was stuck in assorted virtual waiting rooms and listening to assorted phone-robot voices for months on end. Listen, I got tickets, that's all that really matters in the end.

My beloved Captain and Gargoyl have been offered arbitration. Deadline is, I believe, December 7th. Some sources would have you believe that Varitek is expected to take it, but the realistic people out there should know that Scott Bora$ isn't really going to let his darling client accept anything less than 18 years, 500 billion dollars....

Hyberbole happens when I'm bored. I need me some baseball, but soon.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Junichi Tazwa: Physical Pending...

Waiting on the word that all is good with the physical on Japanese rookie Junichi Tazawa. Looks like he'll be joining the farm system next season. Seriously, everyone, he's a rookie. Not even a rookie. He's a minor leaguer and he'll go whereever his talent level in spring training dictates.

Jay Payton wants to return? Please, dear God no...

Derek Lowe continues his push back into Boston. Stay tuned.

Red Sox offering arbitration to Varitek? Does that seem like a bad sign to anyone else? No? Just me then. Not ready to let go yet!

Nothing interesting going on. Another slow hot stove season. Sigh

Monday, November 24, 2008

Jason Varitek: Worth More than A Year?

Possibly. But not if the Red Sox get their way. They've offered Tek a one-year contract worth substantially less than the yearly salary of his Yankee counterpart, Jorge Posada. Personally, I think they could have tossed in another year, just for the hell of it. And we KNOW they've got money to spare (hell, ticket prices are high enough) so that they don't have to be stingy. Look at how much money they threw at Drew and Lugo. They've got the money. I don't think they really want him back at all, otherwise they wouldn't have made such a crappy offer.

I just don't know if I could live in a world where Kevin Cash was my every day catcher. I don't think it's possible for me to do that.

The Red Sox have also made an offer to Japanese rookie Junichi Tazwa reported to be worth somewhere around 6 million. They've got 6 million to blow on an unsigned Japanese rookie, but for a veteran Captain... jeez. These Sox.

I know! Ok, I know that I'm beyond biased when it comes to Varitek. He is why I watch. He made me love this sport. And I don't want to have to miss him the way I miss Trot and Dougie just quite yet. Yes, I miss Ducky and others immensely. At least Ducky I can see regularly, and I can hop down to Baltimore basically whenever I feel like to catch a game. And he is there, and I adore him. But Varitek, if he goes, will not go to an AL East team. I don't think anyone around here has any use for him. MAYBE NL east, but even that's a hopeless prayer.

No, Varitek can't go anywhere. He needs to stay in Boston.

In other news, it is entirely possible that Julio Lugo will be gone by the end of the off-season. Yay! No offense to Lowrider or anything, but Orlando Cabrera's available, isn't he?

Or Gonzo... but he's hurt. We can take him anyway. Oh, Gonzo....

Ok, I'm done until something new happens.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Ramon Ramirez: He who replaces Grumpy?

It is true? Rumors have started up this morning that Ramon Ramirez of the Kansas City Royals was traded to the Red Sox for Coco "Grumpy" Crisp... you know the guy. The one who threw punches at James Shields this year? The one we replaced in the ALCS last year only to replace his replacement with in the ALCS this year?

The guy we got from the Indians a few years back because he had a cool name and tended to know how to get on base? Yeah, him! He's gone.

A part of me is sort of sad, because I gave Coco HELL during his time with this team, and it was fun. I didn't hate him, I just felt very disappointed at everything he did. Cocoby Crispbury is no more. Heck, I can't even use Jacoco Crispbury any more.

So he was possibly traded to Kansas City... wow, he must have pissed someone off. Don't they already have a pretty full outfield? Regardless, Theo is making this team very boring. No Manny, no Schilling, no Dougie, no Ducky, now no Coco? Jeez, could we get a little personality here?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Pedroia: MVP

This should come as no shock whatsoever to anyone who's seen this guy play over the course of the season. I don't need to recite everything he's done right. Pedroia, a guy from our very own farm system, has just bitchslaped MLB and made everyone pay attention to him... which is kind of what he promised he'd do before the season even began.

Silver slugger... gold glove... AL MVP. It is the year of the munchkin. Congratulations, Dustin!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Dustin Pedroia: Mighty Indeed

I have neglected blogging and other such baseball activities for the last few weeks, but so many things have happened that I feel I should say something... even if I do end up rambling.

1) I do not care that Obama was elected president. I don't like him. On the other side of that argument, I do not like John McCain, and I wouldn't have been happy if he won either. This election was a no-win situation for me. I just hope that this new president will be better than the old president (you know, the one with the lowest approval ratings in history? Yeah him. Don't complain, bitches, you people voted him in... TWICE)

2) Congratulations to Asshat and his new bride. I'll leave it at that.

3) Nick Swisher was traded to the Yankees. I didn't realize he had a good fastball - because we all know the Yankees need pitching, not bench players.

4) Munchkin is truly amazing, winning both the Gold Glove and the Silver Slugger award. I don't like the people who vote for the GG ever since 2006 when I honestly believe Gonzo was robbed. It's definitely a popularity contest (as is every other award), but I'm proud of our awesome second baseman for being so damn popular. He's one of the many bright spots on a hell of a season.

5) My beloved Jonny Lester won the Hutch award, which is given to a player who shows courage and determination through the season... or something along those lines. I'm not good with remembering the details of all the awards, and I'm just not motivated enough to look it up. Doesn't matter what it's for... Jon earned it, and I couldn't be any prouder of him this past year if I tried.

6) I'm so with Bill Lee on the Manny deal. For the people who wanted him gone - that one big bat in the middle of a very injured lineup would have more than compensated for the three runs we needed to get to the World Series. We would have won with Manny. But since we didn't, I'd like to remind people that Manny gave us the best years of his career. Be grateful and stop hating on the guy, will you? It's just hard for me to believe that "fans" give him so much shit for helping to bring this team to 2 World Series championships. It's ok to be upset that he's gone, just stop making him out to be some kind of villain. Manny being Manny provided many more good times than bad, and you know it.

7) Enough with picking on Jason Varitek. I know I had essentially decided that his time with a bat in his hand was over, and the Red Sox may need to part ways, but now that I've read and heard so much purely absurd criticism directed at him, I feel confident in saying I want him back. I want the Red Sox to re-sign him and give him the opportunity to show he's still useful. God damnit. Intangibles! Game calling! The man has value. Unfortunately, his horrible-plague-on-baseball agent, Scott Boras, wants far more than the value 'Tek has left. I've said it before... it's the management's job to make the hard decisions and the fans' job to be sentimental about guys who have been stable and worthy of praise for YEARS. My sentimentality wants Tek back. We'll see if Theo's fancy business plan agrees with me.

8) I love Jason Bay. I just don't want him to think people dislike him for the way the season ended. Jason, I love you. Be happy.

9) It's pretty official - Mike "Admiral" Timlin's tenure with the Red Sox has ended. I want to extend my most sincere and saddened "THANK YOU" to the Admiral for all he's done for this organization. Two championships and six years later, we have to say goodbye. I hope people know that Mike gave his all, even this year. And while it's sad that he has to end his career with the Red Sox on a down note instead of on a high note (like, say, after winning the WS), I'd like to think that people will remember his time with this team for the value he brought, not for the struggles at the end. And remember him for the bullpen band... for the "Black Pearl," of which he truly was the Admiral, leading the young'uns into battle. Remember him for the way he would always be the first to charge out of the bullpen during a scuffle... jumping over whatever walls that dared get in his way. And if he finds a new team next season, remember that he was once one of us, and give him the applause he so rightly deserves. Thanks, Mike, and good luck.

10) For anyone who follows the Deftones, you may be aware that Chi Cheng was in a serious car accident not too long ago, and remains (to my knowledge) in a coma. The rest of the band has been posting updates daily, each day providing readers an idea of what they can do to send positive vibes into the world, hopefully helping Chi recover. Chi's mom, Jeanne, has been posting to provide these ideas. Even if you don't like the Deftones, some of the suggestions to send positive vibes are pretty thought provoking, and would be a really good boost of karma for anyone. I encourage people to go over to and maybe consider working on good karma, or saying a prayer for Chi.

Hopefully there will be more good news from the Red Sox and Deftones departments in the coming days. I'll try to keep updated on what's going on.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hot Stove Season: It Already Started, Right?

So, since the World Series has been cancelled this year, it's officially Hot Stove season, right?

-Brief tidbits of news... D-Lo wants to return
-According to a BDD poll, more than 50% of people who voted want to trade Mike Lowell away and aquire Mark Texeira. To those people I say... you fickle little assholes. One injury-plagued year and people forget about that whole glorious "Re-Sign Lowell!" campaign we had going? Wow, people, you remind me why I'm convinced people suck.
-I'm convinced a majority of people (and that might include me) have no idea what's best for this club. We just went through a season where we saw most of our productive players go out with injuries, and a whole rash of other players step up. Just because Youk hit .300 doesn't mean Mikey won't rebound next year. Just because Ortiz had a bad year doesn't mean his career is over. Varitek still means something to us... as a coach! Really, it's our job as fans to be sentimental, and the management gets to make the hard decisions. Don't go ripping up this club because we came three runs away from a world series appearance. We made it that far with an injured Mikey, an injured Ortiz, an injured Beckett, an injured Lowrie, and an ineffective Varitek. We also made it with a first baseman (C+) who seemed to revel in leaving men on base. Don't panic. This is a good ballclub.

I intended this post to be longer, but after reading a majority of the opinions floating around the internet, I decided to give up for the day. I'll be at Gillette Stadium tomorrow for a work-related training event. I'll say hi to the Pats for everyone (if I see them)

Damn, I think the sick is coming back

Monday, October 20, 2008

Jup's Lament: Hello, end of the season

I don't think it should have ended like this, but our guys just weren't hungry enough. They were too beat up, too tired to manage more than one hit against Garza for something like 7 innings. And in the 8th, when Drew struck out with the bases loaded, I knew it was over. They had nothing left.

And I was sad. I really was. Jon Lester did his best, but yet again, they only scored him one run. I'm not the kind of person who likes to give credit to my opponent, so I won't, because I'm just like that. It's not that they didn't deserve it (I don't think they did), it's just that the Sox couldn't do it any more.

So I commiserated with my friend Dave via the handy interwebs. And I drank. I apparently didn't drink enough to help me pass out, because I didn't sleep. I went over in my head everything they did wrong, and everything they could have done better, despite the fact that none of their actions are within my control. I did manage to fall asleep somewhere around 5 AM, and my 5:50 alarm woke me up to the song "Poor Jack" off of the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. And you know what? It actually made me feel a lot better.

For those of you who don't know it, I'll re-print the lyrics that are applicable to this situation....

"But I never intended all this madness,
never,and nobody really understood,
well, how could they?
That all I ever wanted
was to bring them something great.
Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?
Well, what the heck, I went and did my best.
And by God, I really tasted something swell.
And for a moment, why,I even touched the sky
and at least I left some stories they can tell,I did."

No, I'm sure the Sox didn't intend this madness, and they did try to bring us something great. They tried their hardest to get to the World Series again, and fell just short.

And, oh, the stories we have left to tell from this post-season! From the five-run come back, to Ellsbury's 3-run single, I sure have some great memories. And next year, when most of our team is healthy again, we'll make another run at it.

But for now, Go Phillies.

And thanks, Red Sox, for a pretty good season.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Josh Beckett: Just what we needed

I doubted him. I feared what he would do. He basically kicked me in the face and told me that I worry too much. Perhaps I do worry too much. But that's how I am.

Beckett may not have been 'vintage Beckett' but he gave us just enough. He gave us five innings and only 2 ERs. I cannot complain about that. I also am seriously impressed by the work of Okajima, Masterson, and Papelbon. The bullpen guys are almost surely tired right now, but once gametime comes, I can't imagine that they won't be up to pitch.

I'm proud of the way this team fought back, and I can't believe I would doubt them. But I'm still nervous. I'm nervous and anxious, and all I want is for Jon Lester to get us one more win in the ALCS.

Again, just like every other Red Sox fan, I will be watching. And hoping, and believing that these guys can do it if they want to.

But I'm still really nervous. So guys, just win. Please? Just win.

Friday, October 17, 2008

JD Drew: Frequently makes me forget the bad things I say about him

You know what? I've given myself hours and hours to let it sink in... to let what happened last night fully absorb. And I can't do it.

I'm stunned. Impressed. Excited. Nervous. Are they giving us false hope? Are they really waking up? Who the hell knows?! I'm stuck in absolute wonderment. It amazes me.

The Rays were looking incredibly smug by the 7th inning. Of course, they had every right to be. It was 7-0, and we had a mere 9 outs left to go. Of course Tampa was liking their chances. But mocking our "fans" was a little uncalled for, and I think karma like that was their real downfall. The baseball gods did not appreciate that. Now, I'm not saying that said gods are going to continue to punish Tampa. I'm just saying that it was their punishment to lose.

But really, Sox fans. How on Earth do you boo your own team during a playoff elimination game? During the regular season is bad enough, but if you're booing your own guys, you do not deserve to be in that park. Never show your faces again. You know they were trying! Support them. That's what you're there for.

HR's by Papi and Drew, RBI's by Munchkin and Grumpy... and hits! More than one per inning! Oh, please let them keep this up for at least two more games. Please let them put up a fight and make it to (and beyond) that 7th game. I want more baseball so badly, and baseball is so much better to me when the Sox are involved. I can't fathom how to recap anything that happened.

All I can do is beg for another win from the Sox. And that's what I'm doing. Please, Josh. Win. You have to win. I really really really want you to win. So, consider it.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Goodnight, sweet Manny, goodnight.

Turn out the lights on your season, and dream of contracts yet to come.

As I was driving to work this morning, delighting in the fact that the Phillies are headed to the World Series, I realized something. This whole Manny situation, at least for me, has been handled in a very ex-girlfriend sort of way. You know the way.

You're seeing some guy (Manny), and know things aren't going great, but you're hoping that all the drama will settle down and you can go back to the good old days (any year before this one and after 2000). Seven years of your life have been invested in this man's happiness. Then comes the fight. He admits he's been cheating on you, so you throw him out of the small, lyrical bandbox of an apartment that you've shared for years. He moves in with his new flame (the Dodgers). No matter what you do, you see him everywhere. Relatives, friends, and even idiots (the media) are always talking about him... "It was for the best." "He had to go, there was no reconciling this time." "You don't need him. You're better off without him." And then you meet a new guy (Jason Bay). He's nice enough, but he's so soft spoken, sometimes you forget about him because everyone is still talking about your ex.

You miss your ex. You never wanted to break up, but it happened, and you're still not sure why. You're convinced you could have worked it out, but he was gone before that could happen. You want to be mad. You want to blame him. If only he had just waited it out! You would have let him go after the world series. You would have allowed him to walk away with just a few tears. Instead, a bitter anger still mixed with love remains. You fight yourself over whether or not you wish him happiness. When you see him happy with his new flame, it kills you a little inside. Why couldn't he be that happy with you? But you still can't quite hate him.

In the end, you don't want him to be doing better than you, but you want him to at least be happy. So you have to cuddle up with the new boyfriend, and learn to move on.

Be happy, Manny. I still miss you. I swear, I'm trying to move on.

As for one Jason Andrew Varitek... I'm terrified that tonight may be his last game in a Red Sox uniform. I always knew this day may come, but I know I will cry (I'm big on crying, apparently). I shed a few tears on Trot's last day. That was bitterly painful. This day might be just as bad, if not worse. I'm gonna be ready for it. I'm TiVo'ing the entire game, and I will eventually transfer it to DVD and save it so when I feel nostalgic, I can look back and remember the Captain that stole my heart

I won't lie, today's game scares me. I'm not ready for it to be over. I want more... need more. I need a win tonight. So I'm holding my breath and praying that our guys find their bats. Don't let this be Tek's final curtain call without a fight. I'm not ready to let go yet!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Personal Injury Lawsuits: Coming to a Red Sox team near you

I am seriously contemplating sueing the Red Sox for personal injury, as I am certain they beat me unconscious last night. I feel like I've been kicked in the spine repeatedly, and I've got no other explanation for why except that the Sox did it.

Yes, I physically hurt this morning. Wakefield, I've loved you for ages, my friend. Please, take the Admiral and head on home. And stay there. It just aint working any more, guys. Let me remember the good in you, not the bad.

I have nothing left to say about our offense. Absolutely nothing.

Keep the faith, I keep hearing. It's hard, but I'll try. Please, just don't let them celebrate on our field.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

This weekend: Made me cry a little inside

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I watched the three crappy New England teams' games calmly. I didn't. I swore, I threw things, I cursed Jason Varitek endlessly. All I wanted between the two Sox games and one Pats games was something that the Phillies brought home for me... a win. Yes, I've been cheering on the Phillies, and they've been doing pretty damn good, if I do say so. In my bitter anger, I decided I never want Manny to see a World Series again (but I'm not really mad at him, exactly, I'm just mad at the way our current team is playing)

Matt Cassel is who he is. He is not Tom Brady, and we can't expect him to be. However, we should expect our defense to be defensive instead of offensive. Since that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon, I will have to live with it.

Do I blame Beckett and Lester for these losses? Yes and no, respectively. Beckett, if he's so damn hurt that he needs (might need) off-season surgery, should not be trying to throw a ball right now. I know he thinks it's for the good of the team, but it's not. He's not helping. Every time we managed a lead, Josh couldn't hold it. That tells me that his little oblique injury is more serious than he can admit. He doesn't look comfortable on the mound, and I definitely don't feel comfortable knowing that if in the next two games we go 1-1, Josh is our last line of defense against elimination. If this were last year, I wouldn't sweat it, but it's obvious this Beckett is a little too banged up to contribute.

As for Lester... well, I don't know what to say about that. He didn't pitch THAT badly. A passed ball by Jason allowed that first run to score, and two HR's after that were all he gave up. One of them just happened to be a 3-run shot. It could happen to anyone. You know what's killing the Red Sox?

Guess. Go ahead, I'll give you a minute.

You're absolutely correct. It's the offense. How different this team could be if Theo didn't trade away the best right handed hitter in baseball because he was cranky... I hate saying this, because I feel like I'm taking away from what JBay has brought, and I don't want to do that, but all we've been missing is that one big hit. I think we know who could have managed that.

Varitek is absolutely killing us at the plate. And yes, I was angry with him, but Lord forgive me for every awful thing I said and thought about him last night. My mind was made weak by losses and 20 or so guys LOB. I succumbed to cursing the one I love most, and for that, I seek forgiveness. I will try my hardest to never do that again. The guilt consumes my soul today. Even still, I'd like to see Tek maybe not strike out as much with RISP. I'm begging my mind to remember how much I hate Kevin Cash, and that's the only thing keeping me from asking for Varitek to take a seat. Not that he would, but I'd ask anyway, if I didn't hate Kevin Cash. I hate to say it, but my mind has a feeling this October is the last we'll be seeing of Jason in a Sox uni, and that breaks my heart.

That being said, I think this is the only time in the history of anything that I've been clamoring to get Coco into a game. Not for nothing, but Jacoby is really hurting us (despite his sac fly last night), and Coco has hit decently in the post season so far. Maybe Jacoby should get a night off. Coco could be a capable lead-off hitter...

Jacoby - 0 for the series
Ortiz - 0 for the series
Drew - under .200 for the series
Kotsay - 2 hits (give or take) for the series
Varitek - 0 for the series
Cora/Lowrie - 0 for the series.

My God, could our entire team stop slumping at the exact same time? This team has never reached a point where all of our guys, or at least 90% of them, are clicking at the same time, but they've made slumping at the same time an art. They're due for a big breakout game. I might not be able to watch it, because my blood pressure would surely kill me off if I watch anyone stare at another strike 3.

Not to mention the ridiculous bias shown by the announcers. "Pedroia has hit into 17 double plays this season, so he's a good canditate for a double play ball right here.... DOUBLE PLAY BALL!" That one killed me. That one made me throw my computer mouse against the TV, not so much for the dp, but for the excitement over th dp. Please, Chip Caray, be a little more bias. Honestly. It's not f*&^ing annoying at all.

Or how about this gem. "I like that the umpire has a wide strike zone. It makes the game more competitive." - after David Ortiz's ridiculous K-looking in the first. That ball was five or more inches off the plate, and it was a strike? The announcers loved it. But they didn't like it as much when our boys rang up a Ray. I'm pretty sure the umpires didn't like it either, because they wouldn't give Johnny the strike calls. Ugh.

I know, I know, people who aren't Sox fans would probably be reading this and saying to themselves "Typical Sox fan, their team loses and they blame the umpires, the announcers, and everyone else they can think of." And to them I say - you'd say the same thing if the umpires and announcers favored my team, so shut up and let me vent.

Game 4 tonight - Keeping every finger crossed that the knuckler is knuckling hardcore. If not, I may cry, or break something. But I'll be watching.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Pictures: Property of the Globe

"Cinco Ocho: He don't know how he do... he just do."

Jonathan Tyler Lester: More "Nails" than John Lackey

You knew it was coming, didn't you? The sickening, mushy, love-filled rant of a girl so proud of a man she only met once... briefly. A post so adoration-intense that even I myself cannot bear to read my disgusting run-on, happy-happy-joy-joy, I-told-you-so, I-love-him-so-much type of rant. But here it is.

Did you SEE Jon Lester out there? My God, he's been so good, I can't even contemplate calling him "Binky" right now! He was everything he needed to be, even without the praise of the God-forsaken TBS announcers. They've got nerve saying that Jon was turning into a man before our very eyes. Jon has proven himself before. This was just another step. He was ALREADY a man, and now he's morphed into something special - a "BAD man" (tm Manny Ramirez). Make no mistake, last night was not some revelation of what Jon Lester could be. It was a demonstration of what he's been all damn year. If the guys on the booth didn't know that, then, well they must be Angels fans.

They obviously were. I damn-near threw my remote at the TV when the stupid one (specific, huh?) muttered a condescending "siddown!" to one of our hitters. I couldn't believe they were showing that much bias. Nothing our guys did was right, and nothing the Angels did was wrong. And calling Pedroia "El Caballito?" Yeah, that ruined him for the series. Thanks, assholes.

I also admit to shaking with rage and telling Tito that I hate him (through the TV, of course) once Fetus surrendured the tying run. I know, I probably would have done the same thing, but I'm allowed to react all angry and hot-headed, because I'm a fan. That's what we do. We live and die with this team, whether or not Mr. Ramirez likes it. That's how it is. You wait 86 years for a title, and you understand how each and every little play becomes so important to your goal. I swear, being a Red Sox fan is not for the weak. It's been better since '04... sort of... but winning IS addictive, and I think there's still some residual fear that one day, we'll have to go another handful of decades before winning a championship, so let's do all we can now to satiate our need, right? Right.

Kazerud, enjoy the second round of the playoffs. I know there have been a whole bunch of firsts for you on this team. I really hope your enjoying the ride. But JBay, it's ok to smile once or twice. Be happy. Let the happy show. It makes us happier for you.

Nice job last night, C+. Excellent timing for your first hit of the series, Munchkin (I wasn't worried about you... you started slow in the playoffs last year, too). Super clutch single, Lowrider. Bet you never imagined that you would be winning playoff games for the big club this year, did you?

Jon, you're amazing. Josh, I know you can be amazing. You've got a giant, looming assignment ahead of you. Take it one step, one pitch at a time. You'll be ok - you're too good not to be ok. I just know it. Dice-K... don't nibble. I hate nibbling. Lester used to nibble. He doesn't do that any more, and look at him. Awesomeness. Awesomeness indeed.

Admiral, I'm going to hope you're on board with us for this one. I just feel like you deserve to be there more than some of the other guys. You've earned another chance. Mikey, it hurts me to say, but I'm glad you're sitting out. I don't know a single person who didn't feel pain watching you try to grind it out and play through that injury. I admire your courage, now just sit back and relax. The rookies have got you covered, no worries.

Francona, sometimes I want to slap you. Other times, not so much.

Congratulations to the 2008 Boston Red Sox, heading to the ALCS again, and hopefully ready to do some damage (to the Rays, not themselves). Good luck, boys!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Sunday Night: Not What I Expected

Is it fair to say that Josh Beckett sucked last night? I think it's relatively fair to say. I'm sure he has his reasons (injury, rust, the twenty extra pounds he seems to have put on) but it hardly matters. This is not last year's Josh Beckett. This is 2006's Josh Beckett, who never really got into a groove, the one who was CONSTANTLY shaking off Varitek. Perhaps Becks didn't feel confident in his pitches, but shaking off Varitek is something that doesn't sit right with me. Right now, I'm in the mindframe that this Beckett isn't going to help us win. We just need to accept that and get ready for next year when he will be inexplicably awesome again. Even numbers equal down years. Beckett doesn't need the added pressure of being 'ace' right now. He's got enough pressure trying to find the strike zone with the bases loaded. We've still got a bona-fide ace, and he's pitching tonight.

I won't write another glowing love-fest sort of post about that ace, because, well, it's safe to say that Binky knows we love him by now.

So Jacoby got the very first 3-run single in post season history? I think that's awesome. I also am a little bit surprised that it's never happened before, what with all the post-seasons in history. But still, very cool.

I'm not going to blame Javy Lopez for this. I'm not going to blame Munchkin (0-for the series). I'm not even going to blame Beckett, because earned a ND (so did Saunders). Hell, as much as I want to blame Tito, I won't blame him either. I'm just going to write this off as a bad game, and accept it. There's another game tonight to worry about tonight. Bad games happen.

I'm expecting better, from everyone, tonight. Call me negative, but if we don't win today, I can't see us in the ALCS. Those Sox better be in the batting cages all day. Well... not all day, because then they'd be too tired for the game, but at least for several hours... or an hour! Or something! Give me something here!

I'm so sick of these 1:00 AM ending times. It's getting ridiculous. I've got a job, thanks very much, Red Sox. Could we try to wrap it up a little closer to, I don't know... 10:30? Thank you!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Jon Lester: 2008 Red Sox Ace

Goodness, another post about Jon Lester? It can't be! Oh, but it is.

I have to say, I don't remember falling asleep. I remember the 5th inning, and then when I woke up it was 5:45 AM, and I had no idea who won. What I did know was that I was happy with Jon. He got himself into a few jams, but as usual, he managed his way out of them. Is there a Sox fan alive who doesn't consider Jon their ace this year?

(For the record, I hate that I can't access any of my pictures from here. I've got SO MANY pictures of Jon!)

So Kazerud, in his very first playoff game that he didn't have to buy a ticket to, hit a game-winning HR. Sure, the Sox scored a few more runs after that, but we didn't need them. One two-run home run was all it took and, BOOM, we're up 1-nothing. Don't get me wrong, this is by no means a decisive victory. We still need to play 2 more games at minimum. We haven't won anything yet, but oh man, do we want to!

Game 2: Dice-K vs. Santana. We haven't faced Santana this year, so hopefully (and undoubtedly) the Sox are watching tons of video to prepare. What I expect: I expect Dice-K to throw roughly 100 pitches, hopefully in 6 innings, walk a few guys, strike out at least four, and get the win. Now, I wait to see what really happens.

I watched the Cubs/Dodgers game the other night... rather, I tried to, but I couldn't get far into it. Seeing Manny in that uniform, hustling and working really hard made me upset. I know, I KNOW he played that hard in the playoffs for us each and every time. I would never say Manny dogged any playoff game (and don't even go to the longest single in playoff history bullshit), so I'm not surprised to see him doing well for them. At the same time, the glowing praise about how he saved the Dodgers really got under my skin. More than the fact that I knew it was true, he did save the Dodgers, was the fact that he just couldn't stick it out here. He didn't have enough respect for his teammates in Boston, or the fans at Fenway to just finish up the year and THEN throw a hissy fit. You can't tell me you wouldn't feel better about facing the Angels with Manny in the lineup. Don't get me wrong, I like Kazerud, and I think it's awesome that we are getting to watch his first playoff games. I just will always miss Manny, I guess (even when he says things just to hurt me).

Go Kazerud! Win yourself a World Series, and make the people of Boston happy once more!

Oh, and for those audience members who still love and cherish Ducky, please watch this video. You'll enjoy it. My apologies if the link doesn't work.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

2008: I'm Happy With the Results

The regular season is now over. It’s been a cool adventure, and I’m hoping that it ends the same way last year’s adventure did. I’ve been to twelve games this year, starting in Florida, shooting up to Baltimore, shooting even further up to Toronto, and ending in Boston (with, you know, a few more Boston games in between). Next year, I hope to make it out to Chicago and see the two ball parks that city has to offer. It’s been a long road for these Sox. Three different countries to begin the season, countless injuries, Manny-induced turmoil, happy times, sad times… too much for me to recap. I did want to recap, though, if only from the games I went to. I decided that I’m going to recap my top five favorite games that hosted me this year.

5) March 4th, 2008. My first game of the 2008 (pre) season. Daisuke Matsuzaka vs. Phil Dumatrait (Pirates). Just being in Florida in March is a good enough reason to include this game on the list, never mind the fact that we won. It featured Sean Casey’s first hits in a Red Sox uniform, after a particularly wonderful autograph session by the Mayor before the game.
Highlight: A new baseball season is born.
Lowlight: Julio Lugo autographed my baseball without me asking, or wanting, him to as I waited for Sean Casey. Thanks for ruining a perfectly good ball, POS.

4) June 25th, 2008. Boston, MA – Tim Wakefield vs. Randy Johnson (Diamondbacks). There were many reasons I liked this game. One, I had been wanting to see the Diamondbacks (I might have a crush on Stephen Drew…), and I had missed out on an opportunity to get tickets when they went on sale. I ended up getting invited to the game, AND had pretty damn good seats. I got to watch Papelbon strip in the bullpen. Tek stood in front of me the entire night, so I was able to satiate my insane need to take many pictures of Tek. I also got some great pictures of Timlin. The Red Sox won 5-0!
Highlights: Plentiful photo-ops. Great company, great win.
Lowlights: Having many men LOB, Kevin Cash hitting a home run, thus making him think he matters. (It was his first in three years)

3) April 30th, 2008. Boston, MA – Daisuke Matsuzaka vs. Dustin McGowan (Blue Jays). Tight game right down to the wire on a particularly cold April night. I literally had JUST gotten over a severe virus that knocked me out of commission for nearly 2 weeks, but I wasn’t missing this game. Unfortunately, due to the cold and me being so sick, we did have to leave in the 7th inning, but I got home in time to see the bottom of the 9th, a single to bring in the go-ahead run off the bat of my beloved Captain, Jason Andrew Varitek. As I settled my sick little body into bed, Jason drove in the winning run, and I managed to go into a medicine-induced sleep very happily.
Highlights: Tek winning the game, Ortiz’ 7th inning HR (that I missed) to give us the momentary lead.
Lowlights: Having to miss the ending due to awful viruses making me weak and cold.

2) May 31st, 2008. Baltimore, MD. – Jon Lester vs. Garrett Olson. As much as I’ve grown angry with Manny recently, there’s no denying that this was a special game. I had been telling people all around Baltimore in the days leading up to the game that he was going to him #500 when I was there. No one believed me, apparently, except Manny. From the hand of Chad Bradford, to the waiting bat of Manny, instantly into the stands. As soon as it hit the bat, we all knew, we were all on our feet, and we were all screaming our heads off. No one can take away what Manny accomplished in Boston; I just wish Manny would stop ruining our memories of him. Regardless, it was definitely a special moment, and I’m glad if it couldn’t be in Boston that it was in Baltimore. To tease us, Baltimore even began playing “Sweet Caroline” after the ball went out, but stopped and mocked our song. It was all in good fun (wrong inning anyway). So, once more, congratulations on Career Home Run #500, Manny… you cantankerous bastard.
Highlights: Manny’s 500th home run, Ellsbury stealing 3 bases, seeing Kevin Millar, back-to-back HR’s by Petey and Papi, Tek’s 6th inning game-tying single
Lowlights: Ortiz going down with an injury for two months

1) As if there were any question…. May 19th, 2008. Boston, MA. Jon Lester vs. Luke Hotchevar. This was just an awesome night all around. I took my best friend to the game for her birthday, never expecting that it would turn into the best game of the year, by far. Everything about the game was great… we sat in a great group of the most polite drunks you could ever hope to meet at a ball game. We got a free blanket, named Scott William, courtesy of the drunks who were appreciative of our help putting their seats down when their hands were filled with beers. The blanket was named after the guys who were hitting on us the entire game. I didn’t notice until about the 5th that the Royal’s line contained a lot more zeros than would be expected. Four innings is a long time for me as a fan to pray for no hits. I wanted it so bad for Jon that I could taste it. All I kept thinking to myself was, “He might actually do this… oh my God, he might actually do this while I’m here.” We stood for the last two innings, Scott William around our shoulders. The moon was big and bright (if not full, then definitely close to it). Every strike was rewarded by a shriek of happiness. Every ball was reassured with an ‘it’s ok, just throw more strikes.’ The final out was filled with jumping, hugging, laughing, smiling, and immense joy (and I’m sure they were happy on the field, too). We stayed as long as we could justify for a Monday night, watching everyone hug Lester, singing to Dirty Water and Tessie, and just living in the moment. It was an awesome night, and I’ll never stop being proud of Jon for all he’s accomplished.
Highlights: Jon Lester
Lowlights: It was kind of cold. But we had a blanket.

So there it is, my top five games I’ve attended this year. Hopefully by November, I’ll be able to post a top-five post-season games we won, after we hoist a new trophy. I won’t lie, this team frustrated the hell out of me this year. They’ve gotten so far under my skin with their inability to do anything well at the same time (hitting, pitching, fielding) that I’ve gone weekends where I couldn’t stand to look at them. I can’t complain, though, as we’ll be playing in October (specifically tonight). Congratulations on a successful year, 2008 Red Sox. Let’s keep it going.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

John Cena: Total Asshat

I was perusing through the wasteland known as again today. I swear, it's a form of self-inflicted psychological torture. Anyway, I was there, and I see a link.... John Cena Backs the Rays With a Message to Sean Casey. I'm sure it's all in good fun, as it's pretty well-known that Sean Casey is a giant wrestling fan (prompting the "Wooo!" t-shirts he handed out in the clubhouse - he's buddies with the Nature Boy Rick Flair, you know.) But the fact is, John Cena is from Boston. They could have picked any no-good hack to call Casey and tease him, but a Boston boy? That's unacceptable. Poor form, John. No wonder I never liked you.

And on a side note, this is a pretty cool interview with Sean Casey. It made me smile.

I'm not going to inundate everyone with cries of "OMFG Beckett's hurt!" To be honest, I'm not worried. I haven't been worried. I know the Angels are a good team, but let's see what Jon can do before everyone jumps off a cliff in panic. Beckett isn't going to not pitch, I can just about guarantee that. An oblique strain can heal in the off-season if need-be. He'll pitch. Although this kind of messes everything up, considering Jonny pitches better at home, and Commander pitches better on the road... still not worried. We'll be fine.

Disappointed that Munchkin more than likely will not win the AL batting title. He had it wrapped up, but had one bad week, and it fell out of his hands. It's ok. He's our MVP, and we love the kid. He doesn't need your stupid batting title.

I'll be honest, I'm more than a little pissed off about Manny running his mouth. I tried to just let him go, to remember the good parts about Manny. I was a Manny-apologist. I can't do it any more. Even after his less than graceful exit, I stuck up for him. Now, he's just rubbing salt and acid in the wound. He keeps saying that the fans in Boston were so great, but at the same time, he insults how the fans live and die with the game, and expect 100% out of the team. Heaven forbid! We're paying ridiculous ticket prices in a small, cramped (but adored) ballpark so guys like Manny can get big paydays to produce for the team. And when they don't produce, yeah, we're pissed. I guess Manny doesn't understand that some people value their money, and we don't want to waste it on an expensive team that doesn't give a shit! You know, if I never read that article, perhaps I wouldn't be so infuriated with Manny.

I know Manny speaks without considering what he's saying. One minute, he says he loves Boston and there's no where else he'd rather be. The next minute, he wants to be traded. Now, he wants to stay in LA forever. He's always been like that, but to disrespect a city, a fanbase who supported his immature self for over seven seasons is just not right. You say you want us to let you be happy somewhere else? Why don't you try letting US be happy about our time spent with you, instead of turning it bitter? I never thought I'd even type this, but Manny, just shut up and go away. I don't want you in my consciousness any more.

Anyway. Different topic. I'm terribly ashamed of myself for missing the Johnny Pesky number retirement ceremony. I can't even remember what I was doing on Sunday that distracted my attention, but I missed it. Hopefully I'll see it someday. I'll have to look up videos of it.

Come on, playoffs. It's only been two days, but I already miss baseball!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Binky: No Hitter and a half

For him to come as close to a second no-hitter as he did is mind-bogglingly awesome. I wanted it for him, even if I knew he wasn't going to be left in long enough to complete it. He has one this year, and hopefully more to come in his career. I'm amazed at the pitcher he has turned into this year. Aside from a few bad starts in Toronto, can anyone say they were disappointed in Jon? I don't believe anyone could... unless he owes you money, or something silly like that.

Think about this now... with the season Lester just had, and the season Santana just had (PS - the Mets didn't really help him) ... would you still have made that trade? There are reasons for and against it, but for me, I wouldn't have made it to begin with and I still wouldn't make it now. I've mentioned before, sentimentality gets me every time, and even if he had a crappy season, I don't think I would want to see him gone.

He's not David Wells. He's not a FUPOS hired to fill in for guys that we loved and embraced. He's Jon-bleepin'-Lester. He's the Nomar, the Trot of pitching. He's OURS. He's from our farm system. We watched the kid develop into what he is RIGHT NOW. We've supported him through many bases loaded situations, we've sent him our love while he fought cancer, and we (or just me) shed a little tear of happiness and pride when he won Game 4. I still wouldn't have let Nixon walk, and I can't imagine letting this kid go. He is so loved as a baseball player.

Anyway, enough with my mushy love-filled Lester rant.... we did win the game, and the (Devil) Rays did lose their game, so we technically still have a chance at the division.

I'm looking forward to the Angels. If our Big Three are on, and our Decent One (Wakefield, presumably) is... well, decent, then we should be just fine.

I'd take Munchkin over any two players on the Angels team, anyway. I'm positive he'd take them both on and win. And then probably stand over their beaten bodies and drink a few beers, maybe flex his little munchkin arms, and laugh. Then Mikey Lowell could dump more alcohol over his little munchkin head, and only then would he morph into the superhero Pedroia the Destroia. Would you pay to see a video of that? I would.

Hell, the Angels don't even know what city they're from. Let's move them to Tennessee for the playoffs so those west coast time zones don't mess with our guys too much. They can be the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim, Burbank, Sacramento, and sometimes Tennessee... no one will notice.

Ok, I'm losing myself to ranting, so I'm just gonna wish everyone a good weekend and sign off....

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hanky Steinbrenner: Greatest Hits 2008

I'm sorry for the repetition that is likely to occur in the next few paragraphs, but I am just giggling with glee over Hank's latest rants. I've said it before, and I will not ever stop... why can't Hal be more like his brother? Did someone forget to not hug him as a child?

Anyway, with no further adieu, and in no particular order... my top 5 favorite Hank rants of the season!

1) "The biggest problem is the divisional set-up in Major League Baseball" It couldn't possibly be that the biggest problem is that you are paying a bunch of old guys with no heart millions and millions of dollars, and they still can't find a reason to help A-Rod make it to the world series (He's never been... boo hoo). Nope, that's not the problem. The problem is you're not playing in the NL West. Well, by all means, move on over to the west coast. We'll only miss you a little bit.

2) "I don't like baseball being singled out." Suddenly, five minutes after Andy Pettitte admits to using PED's, Hank has a problem with it. Why didn't he bring this up when the Mitchell Report was just under way? Oh, wait, that's right... he doesn't care so long as his guys aren't being caught. But once they admit it? He starts screaming about the NFL (who had a drug policy in place and wasn't trying to cover anything up, btw). Nice, Hank.

3) "No team I've ever seen in baseball has been decimated like this." Of course, this implies that the only team Hank HAS ever watched was... the 2008 Yankees. I mean, why bother showing any sort of reasonable thinking. This is the YANKEES he's talkin' about. I'm surprised he didn't mention how no other team is classy enough to have as many as the Yankees have. And don't be surprised if after the season is over, he awards his Yankees a special trophy for being the hurtin'-est team in the majors (even if he does think the divisions are bullshit)

4) "I'm very disappointed with the way the season has gone, period." Oh, Hank my dear... just wait until you see how the season ends!

5) "We're going to fix what we have to fix." ... 'throwing around money to all these aging stars like it's going out of style isn't working, so next year, we're going to throw around MORE money to MORE aging stars.' Brilliant.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

2008 Red Sox: Heading to the post-season, despite my skepticism

Just some comments from the scene at Fenway that I am watching on TV:

-I'm pretty sure Pedroia wasn't listening to a single question that was asked of him
-No one warned Sean Casey to wear goggles
(photos borrowed from
-You KNOW Paps wants to shake to "Shake shake shake senora"
-I think Pedroia was trying to injure his team mates during the initial reaction
-Beckett looked like a happy little six year old girl when they were dumping champagne on his head.
-Ortiz somehow manages to look incredibly stylish during the celebration whereas everyone else looks kind of goofy/homosexual.
-John Henry still looks like Skeletor
-Julio Lugo shouldn't be allowed to celebrate with that injured quad of his. He shouldn't be allowed in the park.
-I adore the happy smile on Mike Lowell's face as he celebrates with the fans. He just makes me happy in ways I don't care to try to understand. I also think it's awesome that Mikey is the only one still wearing his jersey.
-I still think Heidi Watney is a whore.
-If someone had told me on Sunday that the Sox would clinch against either Cliff Lee or Zach Jackson, I think everyone would assume what I would have assumed.
-I'm happy for Kazerud that he gets to go to the postseason this year.
-It does not surprise me that Papelbon was the one stealing bases.
-I want a copy of the picture of Binky, Tek, and the Commander covered in champagne on the field... I want it enlarged, framed, and hung in my room, thanks.

-Off to bed now. Congratulations Tim, and congratulations to the 2008 Boston Red Sox - back in the playoffs to defend what is currently ours!

PS -Is that Mikey's wife taking the picture?... and Lugo still doesn't belong there.

Johnny Pesky: Deserving of what may come

Rumor has it that the Red Sox are finally coming around to the idea of changing their number retiring policy, so that Johnny Pesky's #6 will hang up on the Fenway facade with the other Sox greats.

It's about time that they considered changing the policy, considering their tendency to part ways with superstars before they can retire with us... Pesky deserves to have his number retired. He's been a part of the organization so long, I'm almost wondering when they're going to build him a statue...

The Globe speculates that the announcement could come as early as today. Who knows what other Sox greats could benefit from this rule change? This is a good thing

Mark Kotsay: Completely, 100% Responsible for that Loss

I'm blaming Kotsay. From where I sat, Kotsay seemed to strike out to end every big inning. He quit on a ball that quickly became a ground rule double, and when he DID decide to dive, he decided not to make the catch. He spoiled my Fenway experience last night. I'd change his nickname from C+ to F-, but I honestly don't even think he deserved the F-...

As did Francona. For Christ sake, Francona! Kotsay, Lowrie, and Bailey were killing us at the plate... and why were Kotsay and Bailey BOTH in the game on a night where we could have clinched?... And he waited until we had NO runners in scoring position to pinch hit Sean Casey? Or even to pinch run Coco Crisp? Kotsay is batting .205 or something equally as ridiculous with the Red Sox. Coco is batting over .280... who does Francona pick to start? That's right, the one who actually hits worse than Coco.

We left an army of men on base. An ARMY. Beckett hit three batters. I waited all season (including pre-season) to see Beckett pitch, and this is how he repays my love and adoration? It's cool. I still have a .750 winning percentage at games I've been to this year, so I'm not gonna complain much. I still enjoyed being at Fenway, and watching the Admiral joke around with the Indians bullpen before the game (someone from their bullpen gave Mike an Indians jacket)... I really wanted to be there for the clinching game, but no such luck for me, because Kotsay can't hit, Francona can't put together a major league lineup, and Beckett doesn't pitch well during even-numbered years!

Monday, September 22, 2008

MLB.Com: Fancy Copyrights Don't Chase Away the Stupid

I was electronically meandering around today.... I went to check out the standings, just to refresh my memory of what our magic number is. Well, according to the math gurus over at, the Red Sox were actually eliminated from the division. We're 1.5 back with 7 left to play, but MLB thinks that it's MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for us to win the division. Ok, sure. Maybe the 'elimination guy' just got a little "E" happy and kept right on typing. I know the joy I feel when I think, gee, those Yankees aren't gonna make the playoffs. They're 8 games back with six left to play. It's not gonna happen. *

Of course, while I was over there, I ran into the giant vomit-fest that is the Yankee Stadium last breath love fest. This is not the Yankee stadium of Gehrig and Ruth. You goddamn Yankee frauds and all the hacks that are clamoring to kiss your asses sicken me. This article, more than anything else, really annoyed me.

Yes, Babe Ruth may have hit the first home run in Yankee stadium (you know, the original one).
Jose Molina did not hit the last home run at Yankee Stadium. Duke Sims (strangely, also a catcher) did, on Sunday, Sept. 30, 1973. Because that was the last game at Yankee Stadium. It was in 1973! Not 2008! That... thing that everyone is crying over has only been around for thirty two years. It opened in 1976. So if you want to get specific, Bryan Hoch, (which I know you don't, because you're a sad little Yankee hack, writing whatever they tell you to write), you should really write an article about how Dan Ford (of the Minnesota Twins) hit the very first home run in Yankee Stadium II, and Jose Molina hit the last one.

Stop making Andy Pettite out to be some kind of a saint. Yeah, he was around for the championship run, but he LEFT NEW YORK! On his own free will! And then when the Yankees were desperately throwing around money, in need of pitching, he came back.

And then there's this... "Johnny Damon also connected on a three-run homer for the Yankees, who backed starter Andy Pettitte through five-plus innings as the left-hander -- a stalwart of the club's recent championship dynasty -- went into the books as the final winning pitcher." Recent championship dynasty? Recent? My niece and nephew weren't even alive yet when the Yankees last won a championship. In all fairness, it hasn't been decades upon decades, but to call it recent is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh! Oh! And then to basically make himself look stupid, he tosses in this, "Pettitte, the second-winningest pitcher at the remodeled Stadium to Ron Guidry (99), threw 85 pitches over his five-plus innings of work, allowing three runs (two earned) while walking one and striking out three." So the stadium only counts as being the "remodeled" stadium when trying to make Pettitte look good? Pathetic.

This is the last I will talk about Yankee Stadium. I'm so thoroughly annoyed that this crap has been shoved down my throat all season. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad the love fest can stop. I know it won't, but it can. And it should. Yeah, some great players have been through Yankee Stadium in it's 32 year existence. Let's not pretend that ALL the Yankee greats played there, because that just makes Yankee fans and Yankee writers, and ESPN, and look incredibly stupid.

*Edit: They've now fixed the standings on to reflect that the Sox have not yet been eliminated... even if they want them to be

Dice-K Matsuzaka: See How Fun Pitching 7 Innings Can Be?!

Wow, Dice-K, I'm impressed. Seven innings. SEVEN! Not five, not six, but seven glorious innings, with no runs and only 2 walks. Can you, I don't know... keep that up until maybe November? That would sure be swell.

I don't know how the weather is going to pan out for the rest of the day, but I'm supposed to be going to the game tonight. Josh Beckett is supposed to be pitching. If Beckett gets scrateched from his start again, for whatever reason, I'm going to break down in completely uncalled for and ridiculous tears. I just want to catch a Beckett game. Is that so much to ask? He will pitch tonight. He has to.

TBS has started their new post-season baseball campaign. Last year, everyone might try-to-forget-yet-still-remember the Dane Cook campaign they had going. It was brutal. It made me hate Dane Cook (most everyone else already hated him by this point). His stupid "There's only one OCTOBER!" phrase gave me aneurysms. "The Colorado Rockies... have you SEEN them?" Yes, Dane, I've seen them get their silly purple asses swept in the World Series! Shut up now! Back to my point... after last year's annoying ad campaign, the silly country song with clips of random stars from around baseball is refreshing. Our two representatives are Sean Casey and Jon Papelbon...

Anything with those two is bound to be far more interesting than Dane Cook.

So Bartolo Colon went home. The real reason behind his departure? He knew he had no rhythm and didn't want to be embarrased in front of the guys in the bullpen band. He knew the Admiral gets mighty unhappy if you mess up the flow of the music.

The Rays clinched a playoff spot, but we still have hope to overthrow the division leaders and take what we should have taken at the least two weeks ago. Damnit, Red Sox, we need wins!

Congratulations to Mrs. Bay and all, but we could have really used Mr. Bay in the lineup last week. I am now at the point where I am furiously sick of JD Drew and his sore back. No more passes for JD. He's on my DNC (do not cheer) list again... although it won't matter this year since he seems pretty firm about not playing.

Pray that there's no rain tonight. Thanks!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

This Series: All I Want To Say About It


that is all.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Josh Beckett: Getting Another No-Decision He Didn't Deserve

Josh Beckett does not get run support. This entire year, when he pitches great, he either loses or gets a no decision. When he's got crap for pitches, he wins. I don't understand the mentality of his team. Yeah, it's nice that they pick him up when he sucks, but can't they help him out when he's good?

He was great last night. One mistake. That's all. Just one mistake, and we end up handing him another no decision when he clearly deserved the win (IMO). Not a single person could get a hit with runners in scoring position? Pedroia, love, what's going on? You've picked the wrong time to start going cold. Ortiz, why don't you look as intimidating at the plate? When you get that look on your face, you hit. Get that look back. You know the look. Don't make me try to describe it. Asshat... forget it. It's the second half. We already got way more out of you than I ever expected. C+, you earned your nickname last night. Nothing spectacular. Lowrider, maybe I should have let Beckett set you on fire. Captain... you're making me cry. Ellsbury, what did I tell you about trying to steal off of lefties? You haven't been getting good jumps. Just stay still. Coco.... yeah. The only ones that have any excuse are Mikey Lowell and David Ortiz. They're dealing with legitimate injuries. The rest of you just need to not carry the suck around on days when the Commander's on the mound.

Beckett's slated to start next Monday (barring any kind of completely expected rotation changes). I'm going to be at the game next Monday. Now, my little stupids, by next Monday, I expect that you all remember what it's like to get Beckett a win. Got it? You better.

I can't get too mad at Fetus for the loss. He had a bad game. He had very bad timing picking when he would have that bad game, but it's still just one. I covered the inevitability of bad games yesterday. I still think Fetus is crying inside that they didn't let him wear a dress for rookie initiation day. He seemed really upset about it. Shake it off, Justin. You can go home and wear one of your wife's dresses.

Wakefield starts tonight. Keep your fingers and toes crossed that the knuckler keeps the Rays crossed up. Tim, you have your mission. Please please please don't implode tonight.

Meanwhile, let Paps keep complaining that he's only human. We know you're human, Jonathan. Robots don't get drunk.

Or do they...?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Update: The Word I Thought I Would Not Be Typing Today

I forgot to make a few points earlier that I actually really wanted to make.

JD Drew is sore. When was the last time JD Drew wasn't sore (answer: never)? He hasn't played since August. We're in the middle of a pennant race, and JD has a boo boo and doesn't want to play. Hey, JD? After hearing this, do you realize how big of a crybaby you look like?

This was going to be the year when I stopped picking on JD.... as opposed to last year when I started picking on him. Hey, if he's not on my team, he's not my problem, right? After that shock-inducing grand slam in the ALCS last year, I was ready to open my heart to the right fielder who no one really liked from the start. Sure, he was replacing on of the many loves of my life (Trot Nixon), and taking the absolute worst number he could have chosen (leaving me with a bitter reminder every day of how he was not Trot), but I was ready to cut him some slack.

Listen, JD... suck it up! I can't believe you're going to complain that you have soreness where you got a cortizone shot. Mike Lowell had three cortizone shots and has a partial tear in his labrum, but he is still playing, and he doesn't complain for a second about it. David Ortiz's wrist is hurting and popping and causing all kinds of concern, but he's playing and only talks about the injury when asked. Have you SEEN how many times Asshat has gotten hit by pitches this year? You can't tell me the guy isn't sore. But they're playing, because they know it's important to play.

I can't exactly say that I care that JD isn't playing, because the team has been fine without him. Really, my anger is in principle. He knows we should be fielding our best team, and he can't seem to take an Advil and drag his fragile ass onto the field. Sad, really. Maybe on top of his tendency toward injury, JD suffers from low self-esteem. Maybe he sees the way that people are talking about Lugo (his off-season-signing buddy) and believes that maybe we all feel the same way about him as we do about Lugo. He doesn't want to be a Lugo, living in a fantasy world where you think you deserve a starting spot, and that people want you back, and you have any kind of marketable talent. Maybe JD just thinks that we're all happier without him, and that he doesn't deserve any of the love, applause, and adoration that the other guys deserve.

Well, JD, if this is the case, then I just have this to say to you - Put a smile on that face, buddy. You'll never be POS. Actually, POS will never be you. You're far superior to him. You can hit well. You can field well. You can get injured really really well. You earned your ring in the playoffs last year (POS did not), and if we win another one this year, the tear you went on when Big Papi was hurt was enough to earn you the new one (POS had no such tear). If you're waiting for an invitation, here it is...

Come back to the lineup, JD. You are loved.

...well... not really, but you know.

Dice-K: Did they forget to tell you that you had a lead?

Really... you have a 13 run lead. You don't need to nibble around the corners. Throw heat right down the damn middle. They'll never be expecting it. This 5 IP/275 pitches crap has got to stop. Our bullpen is NOT that reliable. You really want to leave it to them in the playoffs? Thought not. Thanks for the win though.

Kazmir, at some points, looked like he was literally ready to cry. I can't remember putting a smackdown that violent on Scott Kazmir before. But I liked it. And I really hoped they saved some of that whoopass for Andy Sonestafrankensteinmonsterstein tonight. Because the Commander... he needs a little run support, too, guys.

Six home runs - Ortiz, Lowell, Bay, Varitek, Youkilis, and Ellsbury.... awesome. Grumpy, Lowrider, and Munchkin, you guys owe me two a piece tonight for your slacking off yesterday.

I guess that's really all I have to say. Stay tuned, I might think up something else... better yet, don't stay tuned. Just tune in tomorrow.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Blue Jays Series: Good Times

Yeah, I'm aware that I don't post on the weekends, and yes I know I'm late posting by my own standards, but forgive me. I've got a shiny new printer here at work and I'm trying to get it to accept and love my computer. So far, I have failed, so the Help Desk is basically trying to be a matchmaking service. Printer... I will MAKE YOU love computer, if it's the last thing I do for the day!

So anyhow.... Wakefield.... awesome. Byrd... disappointing. Colon.... didn't even realize he was scheduled to pitch, but good nonetheless. Lester... seriously, you don't know by now? Lester is money. Cash in a win with Jon on the mound. As long as Cash isn't playing, of course.

Luck went our way in this series, which is something that you really can't take for granted. If Papelbon didn't have a little luck, you're looking at a 2nd and 3rd situation with no outs, and the tying run being the guy on 2nd. Luckily, we got a bad call in our favor (to make up for all the blown HR calls this year, I suppose), and we won that third game.

On a side note... honestly, was Papelbon surprised that his high school dance video would come out eventually. And was he even really embarrassed? He should be relieved he was wearing pants... sort of.

Byrd may have been terrible in that first Saturday game, but in all fairness, he was due for a bad start. Pitchers having bad starts is just something that happens. You have to expect it, and you have to deal with it. For a gross metaphor that I tried to avoid using but couldn't, it's like that special monthly visitor that females are blessed with. You know it's due to come eventually, and yes it sucks, and probably ruins your day, but you just have to expect it. If you expect it, it's never as bad.

Ok, I have no idea where my mind is today. I'm fretting over Kazmir. I hate facing Kazmir. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy as a pitcher and watching him make teams look stupid does tend to be pretty enjoyable. You know, except for when it's the Red Sox being made to look stupid. Then I don't enjoy it. I can't even tell you the last time I used the phrase "fretting," that's how much I'm actually fretting.

I also want to point out that Carlos Zambrano is now my least favorite pitcher in baseball. After going almost the entire season with only Lester's no-hitter to adore and be proud of, Z decides it's time to take the crown of "Most Recent No-No" from Jon. We were SO CLOSE to the end of the season... two more weeks, and Jon would have been the only one this year. But it was not to be. Does this mean the Cubs are gonna win the World Series now? I mean, Clay's no-no was the last one last year, and we won it... I don't know. I'm still proud of Jon for everything he's done this year, reigning no-no crown or not.

For the record, I am aware that this blog might as well be called "I Love Jon Lester" because the dialogue has devolved into something like this "Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Munchkin Jon Jon Jon Jon! LOVE LOVE LOVE!" Please be advised that I make no promises for this to change.

Dice-K, Commander Kickass, and Timmy Wonderpitches.... gentlemen (and Josh), the season is in your hands, and.... Josh, put down the damn gun and pay attention! Like I was saying... the season is in your hands. A sweep, and the division is ours. 2-3, and we're tied. Nothing besides these two options is even halfway acceptable. They embarrased us in our house... JOSH! Stop strangling the clubhouse attendants! I'm talking to you, here!.... Sigh. Yes, right in our own house they came in and took 2 out of 3. Return the favor, and then some, with extreme prejudice. You've all had bad starts recently. It's time to man up and get the... DEAR GOD, JOSH! Why did you set Lowrie on fire?! WE NEED HIM! DO YOU REALLY WANT LUGO BACK?! No? Then put out Lowrie! And 'Tek, stop telling Josh about symbolism. Those kinds of things are dangerous in the wrong hands! Well, Jed seems to be ok. Someone get him some ointment, he'll be fine. As for you three... just win.

Friday, September 12, 2008

It's September 12.

You know, you don't have to wait another year to again say a prayer for the people that died, or to shed a tear remembering how terrified and vulnerable we felt, or even just to be a little bit nicer to someone because hey, we're all here, we're all human beings, and we're all in this together

I didn't post anything about Sept. 11 yesterday. There was a decent amount of coverage to make any of my words seem excessive.

So just for the hell of it, go ahead and say a prayer today, too. And remember for one more day before you go back to your busy lives.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Carlos Pena: His HR's should count for us.

I've stated before - he's our property, and I want him back.

This game, unlike previously stated, is not the fault of Papelbon. It's the fault of Tito, and the fault of Jason Bay.

Hey, I don't want to pile on the new guy, but when you come up to bat with runners in scoring position almost all night, and go 0-7.... well then you have to take your share of the blame. Bad nights aside, we needed a hit from him. Just one. We never got it.

I guess I could say the same about the rest of the guys in our lineup, but I don't want to waste my breath.

Tito, for all he's worth tried to avoid pitching Timlin. That's why Mike came in for the 14th inning. Tito knows The Admiral is mostly done. I hate it, I do, that Timlin just really isn't effective any more because I like him. But the truth is the truth. He has three bad games for every good one. Even Tito knows that.... and Tito's the idiot who pinch ran for Mike Lowell - and used Alex Cora.

Well, I'm frustrated and trying to apply for a Masters degree program right now, so I don't have anything else to say... I suppose I could write my leadership essay about how Tito doesn't always use critical thinking to decide NOT TO TAKE MIKE LOWELL OUT OF THE GAME. Yeah.

PS - The umps sucked last night anyway.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Jonathan Papelbon: Forgetting the "He just do" part of his quote

Yes, I was ticked off at Paps for blowing the save before even getting the first out. I was peeved when he gave up a double that almost left the park, and I was downright furious when he gave up the NEXT double to give the lead right back to the Rays. Gave it right back, I say. "Cinco Ocho" didn't know how he do, and he didn't do last night. Usually I'd be downright ticked off this morning, but extenuating circumstances have prevented me from being mad at Paps, and have instead directed my anger towards the city of Boston.... and baseballs.

Just a quick aside to explain that last part... I know I don't usually tell personal stories on this blog, but I felt the need to share. I have a fat lip this morning. It's actually pretty uncomfortable. I got this fat lip by dropping a baseball... on my face. To steal Papelbon's quote, "Jup don't know how she do, she just do." So a baseball fell on my face and that is why I do not like baseballs this morning. Ok, so that wasn't exactly "quick"

Papelbon had a bad night. He had a good one the night before, so this bad night should be voided out, but it's not. The fact of the matter is, Kazerud had JUST hit the home run to give us the lead. He JUST became the hero when Paps fell apart. It's okay though, because we know Paps will bounce back, and we'll win the series. Beckett knows when he's pitching in a big game. And damnit if I don't think he'll be ready for this.

I sometimes find it hard to remember that this is a team game, and a loss isn't an individual player loss, it's a team loss. The bats kind of sucked last night, but you know what? They'll snap out of it. I know they will.

Because if we lose tonight, I'm blaming Papelbon regardless of the events. Oh, and Kevin Cash. Damn you, Kevin Cash!

PS - Good, happy thoughts to my friend Megan and her family. Hopefully everything is going to be just fine! =)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jonathan Tyler Lester: There Goes My Hero ...

I say it all the time, but I truly mean it... I love that kid. He's been absolutely clutch for us this year. Clutch, I say! (photo from Sports and yes I'm aware it was from his no-hitter and not last night's game. Shut up)

After walking the first batter, I wasn't expecting a dominating performance out of Jon last night, but he continues to defy my expectations. He's just that good. He ended up going 7 2/3rds, then handing the ball off to our insane closer. Patmybum responded to a question from that whore Heidi Watney after the game, and I believe his answer went something like this, "Cinco Ocho don't know how he do, he just do." I wonder how long Paps has been holding on to that one? How long has that quotable gem been floating around in that big, rednecky head of his? Listen, I love the guy as our closer, but the things he says and does makes me honestly question his sanity. So, please, keep the microphones out of his face. I'd like to keep a shred of respect for him.

Munchkin does not like hitting in the 2-spot. Francona is an idiot for moving him. The kid was raking everything in sight, so he moves him up in the order, and he stops hitting. Sigh.... oh, Tito, you fool. Why do you consistently make the wrong decision about what to do with a guy when he starts hitting? I just... I just don't know about you, Francona.

Kazerud may have hit a home run last night. It's entirely possible. He's so damn quiet, I sometimes have to remind myself that he's there. Even when he's doing well, I almost convince myself that it's the other guys on the team doing what he did. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone. Considering I haven't eaten breakfast yet, and I'm super hungry, consider any logical, grammatically correct sentence a blessing.

Anyway, yesterday was consecutive sellout 456. They had nice little ceremonies since the team overtook the Cleveland Indians as the all-time consecutive sellout champions (Cleveland had 455 consecutive sellouts). My issue was this: why didn't they have the four guys who have been around during that whole span on the "Thank You" video? They had Varitek and Papi, but they didn't find it necessary to include Timlin and Wakefield? C'mon! No excuse. Both guys are healthy and on the active roster. I'm sure Tim would have loved to say thank you to the fans. For that matter, I can envision a smiling Mike thanking the fans for not making him retire (I love the Admiral). Hell, they could have had Mike and Tim standing next to each other, arms around one another's shoulders, looking into the camera and saying "Thank you fans, for hanging out with the old guys!" And that would have made me smile, and it would have been somewhat poignant. There are only four guys on the team who have been around since 2003. Let them thank everyone, and then give the camera to Paps.

For that matter, what do you think Beckett would have said? I imagine that he would have said something like, "Screw the fans. You fuckers should be thanking ME! Now get out of my way, I'm going huntin'." Of course, they would have to cut that out of the video because of Beckett not showering the fans with love and attention, but don't doubt that it would have been funny. Really, John Henry and the owners are nice and all, but John Henry kind of creeps me out, and I don't really care what he has to say. I want to hear from the guys that I've been watching for x-amount of consecutive games (listen, math... not my strong point this early, ok? You solve for x).

Regardless of how many improvements I think that video could have had, I thought it was a nice gesture. So tonight we've got Daisuke going up against Scott Kazmir. I'm expecting Bay to rake him tonight, since he IS made up of half of Kazmir, he should know what he's going to throw.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Josh Beckett: Your fly is down.

Beckett brought his A-game on Friday, and that's perfectly cool. I'm just wondering why no one is making a big deal of the fact that he was pitching with his fly down? Seriously, no one thought to tell him? Or perhaps he noticed when he got to the mound, but he thought to himself, "Fuck that. I aint lettin' no little zipper control ME. Bitch stays down." And then he proceeded to kick some ass. That's the most likely scenario I can come up with. Of course, he followed up his 5 innings by setting fire to his pants for disobedience. That's just the kind of fiery, crazy guy Josh Beckett is in my mind. The other option is he was doing it to psych out the Rangers... they come up to bat, and see Beckett. Fear enters their mind. Then they notice that his fly is down, and silently start to giggle to themselves. In that short time span, as they were giggling, Beckett has managed to embarrass them (preferrably on three pitches). Yes, that is also an acceptable scenario.
(photo from

Wakefield was... not good. Not even close to good. Saturday was the biggest suckfest I've seen out of the Red Sox for a while. It's like Munchkin was trying to prove a point by not getting a hit. "Not MVP, huh? I'll show you fuckers how badly you lose when I aint hitting. Just you wait." And we waited. We waited for our pitchers to stop bleeding runs, and we waited for our hitters to put together a solid 10-run rally. But Pedroia stood firm, and hit not, and the team lost in an embarrassing fashion.

Luckily for us, the almighty short one decided that everyone had seen the error of their ways and went back to putting on an offensive show. Actually, Sunday was more like an offensive movie trailer, starring little Pedey himself. Just a brief glimpse of what he is capable of. Sure enough, we (and Byrd) kicked ass instead of getting our asses kicked.

A giant, happy welcome back to Mikey and Frankie! Honestly, it's not as if I minded their replacement players because they did really well during the injuries, but I love having these guys healthy again... I love watching Mikey do everything he does, and watching Frankie run is a thing of confusing beauty... exactly how DOES he make all of his limbs flail so much while he's moving so slowly? Amazing. Amazing happiness abounds.

(Devil) Rays are coming to town, and if we could just keep up with the pattern of sweeping them at the Fens, we should be OK, and in first place when they crawl back out of Boston. Oh please let the boys keep up the pattern, if only for this week (please let them only keep it up for this week!)...

In news from other sports... Tom Brady-gone for the season. I know I don't know very much about football, but I know this hurts the Pats. I also kind of see it as football karma. He didn't practice at all this off season, and he comes back and gets hurt before halftime of the first game. The football gods are not happy with your choices Tom. Maybe next year you can appease them better. Good luck, Matt Cassel, you're going to need it.

It's Monday. I'm tired. Today can't possibly move fast enough.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Gabe Kapler: Starring on my calendar this month

Work with me, here. Yesterday was an off-day and I've got very little to talk about.

Pawtucket beat the Yankees last night. The kids, as you know, are in the playoffs. While it is completely conceivable with all the talent we possess in our minor league systems that the kids secured victory from the New York Yankees, they actually beat the itty bity baby Yankees (you know, Melky Cabrera, Shelley Duncan, Ian Kennedy....). Our side of the fence featured a few familiar faces, such as Joe Thurston, Chris Carter, Jon Van Every, and Devern Hansack. Good job, kids! Keep on winning!

The real Yankees were actually playing the really annoying (Devil) Rays. This series played out exactly how I wanted it to, down to the tiniest of details last night. The Yankees, headed by one of their saviors - Darrel Rasner, allowed 6 runs within the first two innings. The exorcised Ray, having lost two prior games and two games on their division lead, put a serious hurt on those pinstriped players. However, the Yanks valiantly fought back and.... lost by two. Precious. Just precious. The Sox gain a game and a half, and the Yankees are reminded that they're still losers. I love it.

Beckett will be back on a strict pitch count tonight. I believe I heard 70 pitches or so, but that may have just been speculation. Mikey will be back, and Frankie will be back. Still no word on Nancy, but I'm SURE he'll be back someday.

The lack of a real game irks me. I need a Sox game. They're like drugs. You know what else is a drug? Caffeine. And I haven't had any yet. I need some of that, too....