Invisible Offense: Sox Do Nothing

Aside from solo home runs from my darling Jason and the suspicious Pretzels, we had nothing. In eighteen innings yesterday, the boys managed six hits, and three of them were home runs. The other three were singles. There's a problem here. I know Papi is sick (and I hope he gets well soon!) and I know Youkilis is all sore and grumpy for whatever reason, but six hits in eighteen innings? Come on, boys, you're far too talented for that.

I wanted a happy post here, because Lowrider, Munchkin, and Ernie worked together in the fourth inning to record a triple play. A triple play! Do you know how rare triple plays are? I should have been able to write about how awesome it was, and what a great job everyone did to make sure we won on a night where the defense managed a motherfreakin' triple play but I CAN'T! Because aside from the triple play and the two home runs every other moment of this game was useless to me! Bedard recorded a quality start but couldn't get any run support and lost the game. Jeff Niemman collected ten strikeouts from our lineup! TEN! That's more than our collective total of baserunners for the entire day.

I'm trying not to get annoyed, but I'm sure you can clearly see that I am failing that goal. Everyone on the team needs coffee. Lots and lots of coffee since they are obviously falling asleep at the plate. I can provide them with said coffee as I have a source at a coffee distribution center. This can happen. Where do I deliver the magical caffinated beans? Because I don't want to watch the boys sleep any more. We've only got a month and a half left to the season, and I loudly request that we don't end the season the way we started it. The way to avoid that? Coffee. Obviously.

I'll get on it. For now, start praying that Mudpie manages a good game, because we're .5 games out of the division lead, and I'm not comfortable here in second place.

Fetus: Developing into something wonderful

Fetus pitched well today. Any time you can match up with Erik Bedard and come away with the win, you've done well. This little person-to-be really intrigues me because I can see him turning into something great. Hell, he already has more wins than Flyswatter does as a starter, and he comes with far less hype.

In the bottom half of the innings, Nancy's been doing his best Papi impression to show us why he was worth the money. Did I think it was a good deal? Hell no! And I never will. Little Tek could be batting .025 for the season and sentimentality would win me over every time, and I'd at least platoon him out there in right. Seeing Nancy in #7 is a slap in the face to me. But he's been producing, so I guess I'll cut him some slack this time. Good job, Nancy. Thanks for your contribution.

Does anyone else think it's wrong that POS has a higher batting average against Bedard than anyone else on the team? How is it possible that he has a higher batting average against anyone? I just don't get it!

Munchkin may be in a rut, but he did some great things in his AB's today. I'll give the little one credit for getting Bedard out of there after the 5th. You can't tell me that working the pitch count has no positive effects. Had Bedard pitched nine, Fetus would be walking out of there with a ND, I'm sure of it. So congratulations, Red Sox, and congratulations Fetus. One more day in first place!

To Fetus: A message from Pedroia regarding your 3 major league wins:

.... well, you get the point anyway....

Oh, and another win for that basketball team everyone keeps talking about.