Crawford: Killer of A's

Crawford crossing homeplate after his home run

Three games, and three times Crawford is right in the mix of wonderful goings-on, so he gets two titles this weekend. I think he deserves it! The second inning found Crawford picking up three more RBI's and making everyone at the park stand up and cheer. Ernie added his own two run home run two innings later. At that point, the score was 5-2, as Lackey had let one run score in both the 3rd and the 4th.

The sixth inning was kind of crazy with the base running. CRW stole second and third... well, technically, he took them on wild pitches, but it doesn't much matter to me. Munchkin singled him in and then stole second himself. There was baserunning all over the place! It was insanity. I'm telling you. You should believe me.

Dewey graced us with his presence! I'm always excited to see Dewey!
Other fun things that happened? Varitek walked to the bullpen. I have proof!

See? He's a pretty man. That is a true story, and I have many, many friends who will corroborate that story. Salty hit a triple, which was amazing. Thanks for the misplay, Coco. Salty was "thrown out" at home, but we all know he was safe. Granted, I was pretty far back in the park (Row 6 of grandstand section 2), but I have no doubts in my mind that he was safe. Then Ellsbury was "thrown out" at second, prompting the quote of the afternoon from someone who was sitting two rows behind me. "Hey ump, get off your knees, you're blowing the game!" I shamelessly admit that I giggled. And then I wrote it down. And now I'm sharing it with you! Enjoy!

That was pretty much the ballgame, folks. Three game sweeps of any team are welcome. I would have liked the Yankees to have lost at some point, but I won't be bitter. We'll get 'em this week. Updated cookie/spine punch standings coming up!

Road Win: Oh My, Is This Allowed?

So, you're telling me that the Red Sox went to a park that wasn't Fenway and won a game? Are you sure you're not making that up? It sounds an awful lot like a tall tale. I mean, I watched the game and all, but I was PRETTY tired yesterday, so I could have just been deceiving myself. Hold on, I'm gonna check redsox.com. Just wait right there.

Ahem. Why is there a picture of meat in the background of the official site of the Boston Red Sox? WHY IS THERE MEAT? I like meat as much as the next person who likes meat, but this is silly and distracting. Is Smith and Wollensky the new partner of the Red Sox? Are they trying to give me dining recommendations? Because guys, there are better steakhouses in Boston. Give me Ruth's Chris any day. Hm. Meat.

Now that I've gotten that mini-rant out of the way... yes, the Sox did in fact win their first road game of the season last night in panic-inducing fashion. I guess that's the way it had to be, but my poor tired heart didn't appreciate it. Dahmer.... eh, he's still trying to find himself this season. He's been throwing a lot of pitches early, missing his locations, and making himself work too hard. He wasn't bad; no, definitely not bad. He just wasn't as sharp as we'd like him to be. Still, he managed his first win and I hope he takes this win and builds upon it.

As a side note, I'm really pretty tired of getting beaten up by former Sox players... specifically former Sox outfielders, so pitching staff, I request you step up your game when facing our old friends. Thanks.

Sometimes between 1 AM and 3 PM EST, the bats arrived in a box from Boston marked "URGENT." Or something like that. Lowrider jumped back on to that hot streak he was riding, going 2 for 4 with his 2 RBI's coming from a 6th inning home run. Youkilis added his own home run, but that's all I'm saying about him. JD blasted his first of the year in the 7th, giving the Sox a 5-1, which if you watched the game, ended up looking mighty small.

Seriously, a few inches here or there, and we lose this game. That was blatantly apparent on Grumpy's at bat in the bottom of the 6th. After a double and two walks with one out, Tito pulled Dahmer and brought in Bard. We desperately needed a few outs. Bard struck out Cliff Pennington and Grumpy stepped up. On the second pitch to Grumpy, he hit one down the left field line that landed maybe an inch foul, just barely missing the chalk dust. That ball would have tied the game (it 4-1 Sox at the time). That play got my heart going, for sure. Bard went on to pitch a pretty seventh. I wish he could have pitched the 8th so Bobby Jenks didn't have to come into this game at all and make things worse.

Jenks' day went like this: strikeout, walk, single, single, single, strikeout. He left with the bases loaded, 2 outs after throwing 24 not so good pitches. Paps comes in, throws five pitches and gets out of the inning. In the ninth, though... more heart attack theater. Single, pop-out, hit by pitch, RBI single. Two on, one out, the winning run at the plate. Somehow he gets two popouts to end the game, and I go back on my heart medication.

Scary wins are wins all the same. And now that I know they CAN win outside the friendly confines, I'm going to expect to see at LEAST that much effort, maybe more for the rest of the season. They can do it. They're just going to make it terrifying.

Breakfast Will Never Be The Same: Coco Crisp Arrested For DUI

Oh, Coco. Coco, coco, coco. Man, what are you doing? I understand that living life with relative anonymity since leaving Boston must have been hard for you, but getting arrested for a DUI? Come on, that's not ok at all. Oakland may not be awesome, but pull it together, man. Geez.

As the article references, Coco is the third major leaguer to get arrested for a DUI this spring. I don't like this trend. Most of these guys have more money in their wallets than I will ever see in my life. Why are they driving drunk? Call a cab! Call a limo! Hell, call the police and tell them you're famous and too drunk to drive. It's not worth getting behind the wheel!

I get frustrated reading stuff like this. I guess I can't expect that every athlete is going to be a perfect role model, but it seems like there are less and less for kids to actually look up to. It's disappointing. I'm disappointed. I hope Coco realizes that he's better than this and doesn't make a habit out of it. Shame shame.

Paps: Blaming Things on Rain, Taking Credit from the Wind

I am a shameless fan of the Paps/MDC version of "Blame It On Rain." It's the only thing I like about rain delays at the park. Why am I even bringing this up, you ask? For this reason... I'm starting to think that the weather and Paps aren't on the best terms.

First, he goes ahead and blames the rain. For what? Not sure, I never actually read/remembered the lyrics to that song. I like the chorus, and I enjoy the silly wigs and the dancing. I am easily amused. But Paps, regardless of his true feelings for the rain, looks like he's sided against it.

Then last night, when the save looked all but blown, the go-ahead HR was blown... right back onto the field. It was by the grace of something far more powerful that Scott Boras (and much more benevolent) that the ball hit by Hairston was not a home run. Paps was lucky. So what does he do? He takes credit for the save! Preposterous. Ok, so he didn't take it himself. The save was automatically assigned to him by official scorers and what have you, but we all know he didn't earn it last night. He hasn't been himself this year, and it's a tad bit scary. He does only have something like one blown save, but the close calls are piling up. Hopefully, he'll pull himself back together the way the majority of our starting pitchers have.

Wakefield. Win number 11. Did you think Tim would be leading the league in wins? No? Neither did I, but I'm sure happy for him. How many wins now does he need to become the all-time Red Sox wins leader? I'll look it up.... He's at 175, and he needs to get to 193. 18 wins shy! 18! Assuming he can win another 6-8 this year, he'll only need to have an average season next year. He only needs to play in 116 more games to pass Bob Stanley for all-time games played. Only 116... listen to me and my crazy talk. The man is almost 43 years old. Assuming that he pitches in 33 games, he'd have to pitch three and a half more seasons. What are the odds of keeping Wake in the rotation until he's 47? No clue.

So Pedie has been thinking about skipping the All-Star game to be with his wife. I say do it. It's an honor to be voted in, but family definitely comes first.

Lastly... my favorite AAA outfielder, Jonathan "Vantastic" Van Every was DFA'ed to make room on the 40-man roster for Lowrider, who will be in AA to finish his rehab. I hope than Vantastic clears waivers so we can keep him in AAA till we need him (especially since he is out for the rest of the year with an injury)... but if not, I wish him a speedy recovery and the best of luck whereever he ends up.

Starting four against the Royals, but there will be no Coco sightings, because he is also done for the year with an injury. I feel bad about that and hope that his recovery also goes well. Best of luck, Coco!

Ramon Ramirez: He who replaces Grumpy?

It is true? Rumors have started up this morning that Ramon Ramirez of the Kansas City Royals was traded to the Red Sox for Coco "Grumpy" Crisp... you know the guy. The one who threw punches at James Shields this year? The one we replaced in the ALCS last year only to replace his replacement with in the ALCS this year?

The guy we got from the Indians a few years back because he had a cool name and tended to know how to get on base? Yeah, him! He's gone.

A part of me is sort of sad, because I gave Coco HELL during his time with this team, and it was fun. I didn't hate him, I just felt very disappointed at everything he did. Cocoby Crispbury is no more. Heck, I can't even use Jacoco Crispbury any more.

So he was possibly traded to Kansas City... wow, he must have pissed someone off. Don't they already have a pretty full outfield? Regardless, Theo is making this team very boring. No Manny, no Schilling, no Dougie, no Ducky, now no Coco? Jeez, could we get a little personality here?

JD Drew: Frequently makes me forget the bad things I say about him

You know what? I've given myself hours and hours to let it sink in... to let what happened last night fully absorb. And I can't do it.



I'm stunned. Impressed. Excited. Nervous. Are they giving us false hope? Are they really waking up? Who the hell knows?! I'm stuck in absolute wonderment. It amazes me.



The Rays were looking incredibly smug by the 7th inning. Of course, they had every right to be. It was 7-0, and we had a mere 9 outs left to go. Of course Tampa was liking their chances. But mocking our "fans" was a little uncalled for, and I think karma like that was their real downfall. The baseball gods did not appreciate that. Now, I'm not saying that said gods are going to continue to punish Tampa. I'm just saying that it was their punishment to lose.



But really, Sox fans. How on Earth do you boo your own team during a playoff elimination game? During the regular season is bad enough, but if you're booing your own guys, you do not deserve to be in that park. Never show your faces again. You know they were trying! Support them. That's what you're there for.



HR's by Papi and Drew, RBI's by Munchkin and Grumpy... and hits! More than one per inning! Oh, please let them keep this up for at least two more games. Please let them put up a fight and make it to (and beyond) that 7th game. I want more baseball so badly, and baseball is so much better to me when the Sox are involved. I can't fathom how to recap anything that happened.



All I can do is beg for another win from the Sox. And that's what I'm doing. Please, Josh. Win. You have to win. I really really really want you to win. So, consider it.


Wow.

Toronto: What A Beautiful Town

The votes are in. Toronto is favored over Montreal 1-0. I hated Montreal, but Toronto.... wow, what a nice little city. Except for the few Jays fans that booed me and my family members after the terrible Saturday game, I found people in Toronto to be just a little bit happier than the people I usually encounter in Boston. Ah, I love being a tourist and getting to see the best of everyone. I'm sure I'll have pictures uploaded within the next year or so.

Yes, Binky was terrible on Saturday. Dice wasn't nearly as bad, but he also wasn't his sharpest. Manny Delcarmen makes me cringe, guaranteed every time. Lowrider and Grumpy saved the Sunday game, CRW took a wall to the face and the Jays fans in attendance (not ALL of them... the ones sitting next to me were very quiet) booed him for being hurt. I was a little surprised about that. I was also surprised when Gaston took BJ Ryan out of the game after one inning and something like 2 and a half pitches. We swung at everything he threw. It was a very quick inning. But then they brought in this League kid who served up Lowrider's mini-bomb. Good ending. Me, and all the Sox fans around me, left the Rogers Centre happy. By the way, that is one cool ballpark. It rained for a while on Sunday, but halfway through the game, they opened the dome back up. I wish we had one of those...

Wakey was not as shaky as I expected him to be coming off the DL. Glassman is on the DL, Aardvark's on the DL, POS MIGHT not play for the rest of the season, we MIGHT be getting Mark Kotsay, the Commander MIGHT have pissed me off by suddenly being ok but not being ok enough to pitch the damn game I went to, the Pawsox are in the playoffs, Yaz is out of the hospital and is doing good, We're only 3.5 games behind the (Devil) Rays, and 2.5 ahead of the Twins, and Steroid Monkey is still an ugly cheater. Oh, and Elephant-Man Pettite got the loss. Yay. Good few days of baseball over all.

Speaking of baseball (aren't I always?)... the baseball HOF in Cooperstown is pretty damn cool. I took a picture with Ted Williams, saw the no-hitter baseballs, went through the 2007 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox display, walked the hall of plaques, and snapped a picture of Barry Bonds' record home run ball, proudly marked and displayed with the giant asterisk it deserves!

Gargoyle is going tonight against Sidney Ponson. Hope for good results. The stupid Rays are surely not going to keep losing, so we need to keep winning. Oh, and apparently this is like the last Red Sox/Yankees series in this incarnation of Yankee stadium, but since it's not even the original stadium, and they're just moving right across the street, I honestly don't see why everyone is making a big deal out of it. Burn the place down already!

Timmy Wonderpitches: I have NO idea why I just wrote that

Actually, Timmy Wonderpitches is a pretty good nickname for him. Because you always have to wonder if his pitches will stay in the park, or sail out sadly.

I was invited by a dear friend to the game last night, and dear friend, if you are reading this, THANK YOU! We sat righ above the Stop and Shop sign, in the first row of section 36. Great seats. Great views. Perfect position for me to get my obligatory Varitek pictures.

I'll admit, I'm superstition, but the one game I went to where I did not take any pictures of Varitek this year, we lost. So, I firmly believe that he must be photographed. I also got some extremely amusing shots of Jonathan Papelbon vogue-ing for the camera. I love my camera. I love it dearly, and I love taking pictures with it. As soon as I upload some of the shots, I'll share them. Some of them are really pretty funny.

So Grumpy hit three doubles.... stop laughing, he really did. He was huge for us last night! CRW got one hit, no steals (disappointing), and Manny struck out three times, but it was ok, because Tim only gave up 2 hits. Even Randy Johnson can count to two*

*On a side note, I always figured the reason he was so grumpy was because he didn't know how to count. I know that's completely not true, but it's funny to think about.

Kevin Cash can hit five home runs a game, and I will still not like him. Unless he literally becomes Doug Mirabelli, I will never accept him. The great thing is, I'm not the only one who feels that way. So hit your home runs, Cash, but know that we still don't like you.

I did witness a sad event. Sad as in pathetic. After Cash hit that fluke home run of his, people were filing out to refill on beer and bathroom time. One guy was walking and turned to his friends and said, "So that was Pedroia who hit that home run, right?" Ugh. At least if you're at the game, pretend that you know what's going on. Although I'll give him credit. He knew that it was a home run. But Cash and Munchkin aren't really easy to confuse. You fail, random bleacher fan.

Seriously, even with my camera on Paps and Tek all night, I STILL knew what was going on with everyone on the field. That lack of knowledge of what JUST happened makes me sad.

One of the best parts of the game was watching the silly outfielders Chris Young and Justin Upton completely mis-play Coco's last double. Since I was right by the outfield wall, I got to stand there with the great people I was with and thank them for messing up the plays. Young did not look appreciative of the attention, but hey, we were being nice. It's not as if we were screaming that he sucked. We just said thank you, gave him a thumbs up, and sat back down. Silly outfielders.

CRW: Burning Up the Bases

That kid is ridiculous. It's so much fun watching him steal bases.

Fetus deserved the win on Friday, but the bats just couldn't wake up for him. Wakey deserved the win on Saturday, but our bullpen just couldn't allow that. So today, the Commander pitched his giant, Texan heart out and picked up the win that none of our other starters managed to get.

Being ever-critical of Mr. Beckett, I was not happy with his first three innings, but those last four were fantastic. Even though he didn't get any base hits himself, I was overall really impressed with his work today. Yeah, it was the Reds and they're one of the worst teams in baseball. Usually the Sox have a hard time with bad teams....

But hell, even Coco managed two home runs in this series. The God-who-loves-the-Red-Sox was smiling on the boys down in Ohio this weekend.

Now hopefully that same God is on his way to L.A. to smile down on some other Boston team.

Covelli: The Revenge-Bringer

Grumpy has earned a place in my heart. Never in the history of him wearing a Sox uniform have I been more proud, or entertained. This affection may only be temporary, but oh, Grumpy, thank goodness for you. Never did I think you had the stones to charge the mound. You proved me wrong!

Yeah, he'll get suspended, as will a handful of (Devil) Rays... who, as we all bore witness to, are still relatively evil deep down. You can take the Devil out of the name, but you can't take the evil out of the players. That's the God-who-loves-the-Red-Sox honest truth. Carl Crawford, you've made Joshybear's list of people to remember... at least I really, truly hope you have.

I want the fear of the aforementioned God to be inserted, painfully, deep into your soul... if you even have one.

We all know Gomes is on the list. And the Yankees. He's not going to forget mop-up-man Farnsworth throwing at Super Manny's head. I assume he doesn't forget these things. Because when Joshybear is on the mound, I want the badassery to flow from his angry, Texas fingertips and explode in the faces of the evildoers. I, undoubtedly, will laugh and point at little fools like Carl Crawford. You know... they know... we all know something will happen the next time the Sox and Rays/Yanks face off. We know it. We feel it. We want it. You can almost feel it burning in the pit of Joshybear's stomach. Ass-kickery and badassery abounds!

This, of course, is assuming that anyone else on the Sox actually cares about Grumpy. We're going to pretend they do. For today at least, I do to.

Good job, Grumpy!

Oh, and I heard the local basketball team won a game, or something.