Thursday, October 27, 2011

11:39 PM: Have A Shot of Jack

Today is the day. Seven years ago, at 11:39 PM, Edgar Rentaria's ground ball to Foulke made us the happiest nation in the world.

There's a lot going on right now, but just like last week when I suggested that we all smile for a bit, I think we should all do a shot of Jack to celebrate the Idiots that made us happy.

That's all I've got, guys. I'm working on coming up with a nickname for Ben Cherington, but I'm not rushing it. He deserves a good one. I'll get back to you all. Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It's A Miracle!: Or An Injury. Your Call.

Ok, guys.... I checked the calendar at least fifteen times since I got the announcement (for the record, I got the announcement this morning). I am here to assure you that it is not December 25th, even if it feels like Christmas morning. And it DOES feel like Christmas morning.... and I'm as giddy as a child who just found her presents from Santa under the tree.

Ben Cherington is playing Santa in this scenario.

The present, as you know is Tommy John surgery. For John Lackey.

Call me a coldhearted bitch if you will, and lecture me on celebrating the misfortunes of others if you'd like, but we DESERVE to be happy about this! I deserve this, damnit! I sat through damn near every one of John Lackey's shit-tacular starts this season. I suffered through frigid temperatures, rain, blaring sun from which there was no escape, and overpowering fog that obstructed my view of the entire field. I suffered! And because of that, today I celebrate!

This doesn't solve our Mudpie problem, of course. I do believe he's signed through the 2015 season, but as a short-term solution, I'll take it. And I won't miss him.

Yup, I'm probably going to hell. It's fine, I'll have plenty of good company... and when I reflect on my life, I can think about how happy I was the day I found out John Lackey was going to be gone for 2012, and it will make my eternity in the lake of fire worth it.

I love you, Ben Cherington. I will make you extra cookies and leave extra milk by the fire for you this year.

PS - just for the record, I'm pretty sure this is the first post in which I use the two labels "Mudpie" and "Good things" together. Miraculous. Enjoy yourselves today, guys. This day belongs to the fans!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Happy Anniversary, Red Sox Nation: Go Watch Some DVDs

Here's a sure way to put a smile on your face this morning.... plop your well-worn copy of Faith Rewarded (or Four Days In October... or hell, just the 2004 ALCS), watch that video until the very end of game 7, then pause the DVD. Let yourself get lost in that feeling. You remember it. The joy, the numbness, the excitement, the confusion of what had just happened. I know you remember it. Every Red Sox fan alive during October 20th, 2004 remembers it. Soak it in, and let that unadulterated joy completely neutralize all the feelings of frustration from this September. That was where we were seven years ago. Our team had just completed a miracle, and we loved them.

The current team is not the same as that team, and I'm not trying to pretend it is. But as horribly as this season ended for us, we still have that. Today, chicken and beer and anonymous sources and voodoo in the dugout isn't allowed to bother you.... because today is one of the worst days in the life of a Yankee fan, and that should be enough to make you smile.

It worked for me. I'm smiling. You deserve to be smiling, too. Happy anniversary, Red Sox Nation! Let's all look forward to more miracles in 2012!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Anonymous Sources: I Hate Them All

Enough! Geez, I honestly don't want to hear another damn word about pitchers drinking beer! Do I approve that they were drinking on the clock? No! But all this talk of drinking and chicken and team dysfunction and ineffective managers as the cause for the collapse? Ridiculous! This is so stupid. If I read one more article by anonymous sources, my head will implode, turn into a black hole, and destroy the entire Fenway area. I don't care if anonymous sources leak that Pedroia does voodoo dances to curse opposing pitchers in the visitor's clubhouse before games. I don't want to know if anonymous sources tell me Jason Varitek questioned Terry Francona's authority at every turn, or if they want me to believe that David Ortiz kept a Yankee jersey in his locker all season long. From now on, if you want me to believe you, put your name on it. If you stay anonymous, I'll assume you're lying. I have a feeling the majority of fans out there have already long ago reached this point.

Truth is, I don't like that our pitchers were drinking on the clock, but I believe them when they say they only drank during their off-days. Beer and chicken didn't cause the collapse. Shitty pitching, hitting, and fielding did. I am not the only one who blames Curt Young for a lot of this, but it comes back to the players. Don't focus on what they did off the field... what they did in the clubhouse. Put the blame on what we saw with our own eyes.... this bunch of guys didn't play well. It doesn't matter why. I'm tired of reasons and excuses. Now I want to hear how we're going to fix it. That's the only kind of information I want from anonymous sources.

For me, the gossip channel is off. I can't wait till spring training... oh yeah, Go Rangers!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Lester Mans Up: One Pitcher Of Beer Comes Clean

It's not much, and it certainly doesn't change anything that happened this past September, but reading Jon Lester admit to the allegations against him and apologize for his bad decision-making skills earns him back a bit of respect in my book.

Of course, I don't know the complete set of circumstances that caused the club house to fall apart and I can't assume that pitchers drinking beer during their off-days was the sole reason for the collapse, but Jonny would have earned back a little more respect had he not said their 'bad habits' had nothing to do with the collapse. I have a feeling it had more to do with the collapse than he would like to admit.

Still, seeing as how he's the first one of the three to step up and apologize for the drinking made me feel one little iota better. It might have taken three weeks, but it's something, damnit, and I'm going to cling to it like a life-boat. After all, the wounds are still fresh and I need something to make me feel better.

It's the little things, guys. I'm trying to focus on the positive. Now, Josh Beckett and John Lackey, it's your turn. Get to apologizin'!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Welcome To The Smear Parade: Starting Right On Schedule

Hi, friends. It's me. Jup. I know I've been mostly absent during Red Sox Nation's time of need, but please know that I have never actually left you. I've just been speechless.

Now, this doesn't happen to me very often. I'm quite the opinionated young lady. I can be pretty witty when I want to be. Yet, in the wake of all that happened in September, I've found myself with nothing to say, no desire to analyze, and no clue what will become of my beloved team. It's been a time of introspection and mourning. I've mourned the playoff aspirations of my team as I stare blankly at the unused ALDS home game 1 tickets. I mourn the loss of Tito... simply the greatest Red Sox manager of my lifetime, and likely of all time. I mourn the 2011 Red Sox, as they will surely be a new beast with the dawning of spring training 2012. I mourn a lost season.

Ok, now that I'm done being dramatic, may I say this is all absolutely ridiculous. I will not believe one single slanderous front-office-based word that comes out about Tito, and I know any of my fellow Red Sox friends with brains will also know better. If I'm being completely honest, I could care less that Theo is gone. I can name more horrible moves he's made (Renteria, Lugo, Drew, Dice-K, Lackey, Gagne, Cameron, Jenks... just to name a few)than wonderful moves (trading for Ernie... signing Alex Gonzales twice.... um....) so I'm not sad to see him go. I only wish he could have taken some of his major-flop contracts with him.

If I want to go on to be more honest, I think it's time for Varitek to move on. Jason will forever be my favorite player and I didn't think it possible that I would see the day where I didn't want him on my team any more.... but I think it might be time to part ways with him. I don't feel honest calling him the captain any more. The 'C' should probably be put in storage until we see a leader emerge, or we can just give it to Munchkin.

I don't like hearing Papi talk of bolting to the Yankees. You may be mad at the front office, but please don't try to punish the fans for what they've done to you. By saying that, all you're doing is hurting us.... the ones that have stood by you during your entire tenure here. I respectfully ask you to stop this nonsense, Papi.

I have not come to a decision on what needs to be done about Wakefield. My heart says keep him, but my brain asks if his head is actually in the game or on his stats. I had never heard Timmy talk of individual accomplishments before, and it worries me. Though, I agree... we do deserve to watch him chase that record. But is that in the best interest of the other 24 guys?

I may not like knowing that Beckett, Lester, and Lackey were drinking, eating chicken, and playing video games in the clubhouse during gamedays, but finding out about this only now makes the Boston media look like a bunch of assholes. They have no problems reporting on other crap, like pending divorces or child support papers being served, crap that has no business in the sports section, but they don't tell us what's going on in the clubhouse. Disingenuous.

I'm anxious and nervous to see what other changes will be made. I am willing to garner no guesses over the fate of Papelbon. I don't like that our pitchers haven't made any public statements about the accusations. I don't like the front office for the way any of this is being handled.... but I love my team, and I will stick by them. And I'm here for you guys if you need a shoulder to cry on. Because I feel your pain.