Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's not right

It's not right at all when the current streak of sucktitude is overshadowed by the media fussing about Manny.

Manny's damn right, we don't deserve him. You people at Fenway the last few nights (you know, the thousands of you who were booing), fucking shame on you. Disgusting. How can you boo him, your own player, at home? What is wrong with you people? Are you really going to let a few disgruntled Manny comments change your opinion of a guy who gave us the best damn years of his career? He never during this saga said anything negative about the fans. Everyone wanted Manny to talk, and now you boo him for what he says? God damn, some people are just never fucking happy!

Well, screw all of you. If Manny goes, you're going to miss him, you assholes. Booing Manny Ramirez for front office drama... this is just the pinnacle of absurdity, isn't it? No wonder Boston fans have such a bad reputation around the US. You're not supposed to boo your own damn players! If you're booing them, why are you even at the game. You obviously care more about gossip than the game. Get the hell out of my ballpark. Voice your disagreement with Manny at another place and time. You're just proving his damn point.

Kudos to those who didn't boo Manny. Sadly, there were not enough of you. I appreciate that you keep your mind on the game and realize that we might just be trying to win a game.

Anyway... Beckett flat out sucked last night. Everyone on this roster is due for a few good games.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Near No-Hitter: What?

That... was not fun.

And I'm not feeling the happy, warm joyful feeling that I've been able to maintain through this disgusting month of games. We're under .500 for the month now. And, uh, I don't appreciate that. Not even a little bit.

Someone, anyone, I don't care who... light a fire under these guys. Do it literally if need be. I don't buy into the bullshit that the Manny drama makes everyone on our team forget how to hit and pitch. They're just playing like a team that doesn't realize we don't have a ten game lead (or a lead) in our division. Either that, or they're playing like a team that doesn't realize that the division lead is within striking distance. We can still take it! Victory is OURS for the TAKING!

Strap them to chairs Clockwork Orange style and make them watch film of their performances this month. Force them to witness the horror that they're inflicting on us. Make them feel the pain of their complacency on the field. Repeatedly flash images of the standings. It isn't too late to change, boys! Show them footage of the 2007 World Series. This is ultimately the same team that won it last October! Remind their bats what it feels like to scorch leather. Remind their ears what a strikeout of the opposing team sounds like. Pour champagne on their heads and remind them how much fun those celebrations are. Give them the words to "Dirty Water" and let them remember how things used to be. Bring them to first base and show them that it's really not THAT far to second. Take them to the goddamned wizard of Oz and let him show them that yes, they have had hearts all along! Get them out on the hallowed grounds of Fenway with a mission and hope!

And someone remind them how to win, for goodness sake!

2 months left to the season. Stop limping, start running (and no, I'm not just talking to Manny). We can get to the finish line. I swear, we can!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Daisuke: Translated to English Means "Imminent Implosion"

C'mon, we all saw it coming. It was bound to happen eventually. Dice-K had a bad game, at a bad time (could have been a lot worse), and we lost. He's been walking people by the dozen, and escaping jams by the skin of his teeth. I have forgiven him. It's time to forget last night for the following reasons:

1) The Rays and the Yankees also lost, so the standings remain. We've lost no ground.
2) John Lackey is pitching tonight, and the Sox have a history of making Fenway a nightmare for him.
3) We'll win. Even with Dahmer on the mound.
4) Manny hit a home run. And it was beautiful. Another reason he makes me smile.

Everything is bright, sunny, and optimistic right now in my little piece of the world. Of course, that would be much different if one or both of those other teams had won. They didn't. My good mood is safe... much like Jacoby Ellsbury when he's base-stealing. Completely, 100%, without-a-question safe.

This is not to say that a late August/September rant won't be happening, because it probably will. Wow, is it really almost August already?... damn. Ok, that's ok. We'll get 'em tonight, kids. No worries!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Wordle: Fun Stuff

Big Papi: Putting Some Power into One

Last night's game was pretty kickass. Forget Manny being Manny, that was totally Binky being Binky. Yeah, he had a rough 5th, but who didn't? It seems like Binky always gives us the starts we desperately need, even if his offense doesn't back him up (Commander Kickass suffers severely from the offensive difficulties this year). What a kid. Got to love him.

Even the love of my life got an RBI last night, so of course I am a happy girl.

I found this at Joy of Sox this morning, and I'll admit that I laughed out loud a little. Because I don't enjoy ESPN, and when they make themselves look bad, it makes me happy!

When Ortiz hit his first homer since returning from the DL, my heart felt light and joyful. Do you comprehend what this means?! He's BACK. Officially. Ortiz, the RBI-maker, the Lord of Deep Fly Balls, the face that causes relievers all around MLB to faint... yes, he hit a home run in the majors! He did not crumble to the ground in pain. He will be ok (I constantly worry about him), and now I've got nothing to fear for the rest of the season. It's all going to be ok because of Ortiz's home run swing.

Despite losing two out of three to the Yanks, I'm not upset. The Sox are only one game out, and that's perfectly fine by me. Not a big obstacle, I assure you.

Now... onto my POV about the whole Manny situation, since everyone in the world is addressing the Manny situation this morning, and I don't want to be left out of such global unity...

I believe that I feel the same way about Manny as he feels about the team. Every once in a while, I'll get absolutely frustrated with him and want him gone forever. Then, in a heartbeat, he does something that makes me smile and question whether I could be happy with him gone. The answer to myself is usually no. I want Manny in a Red Sox uniform. Manny seems to get frustrated with the team for one reason or another, and he wants out of Boston on occasion. Then, something will snap, and Manny will smile and say he wants to stay here forever (even if he doesn't mean it).

Remember, everyone, he's the only Dominican drama queen we have left now that Pedro's in NY. We NEED Manny to keep this team light. His Manny moments may not be liked by all, but damnit, we can't throw him away. I know he's on the decline in his career, but the decline isn't severe enough yet to warrant losing Manny and breaking up the heart of our order. Who replaces him? I love Manny's antics. I love his hair and his baggy uniform and his goofy smile when he realizes he made a mistake. I love the way he lights up the playoffs, and watches his homeruns, and plays balls off the green monster. I love that opposing pitchers pitch to him with first base open and the game on the line, and he usually makes them pay. I love that runners underestimate his arm and fielding. I may not like his attitude sometimes, or that he quits on the team whenever he damn well pleases, but that's part of the package of Manny. You have to take the good with the bad, and I would not be happy losing out on the good for the sake of ditching the bad.

Manny's a child. He throws his tantrums, but he settles down. You can't deny his presence or production. Manny just wouldn't be happy anywhere else, and I wouldn't be happy without Manny.

So screw you, members of the media who think the Red Sox should do without Manny. I want him to stay (even if I don't always think I do). He's our crybaby goofball, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Friday, July 25, 2008

We Welcome Back Mr. Ortiz to the hallowed grounds of Fenway

He has returned, my friends. He has risen from Pawtucket (and Portland) and has taken his seat at the right hand of Manny (assuming Manny's even playing tonight). He has come to wash home runners once stranded in scoring position, and to judge relief pitchers of other teams late in games. Oh, Ortiz, deliver us from the loss column, and lead us to an AL East pennant.

With him, he brings the gift of clutch hitting, because he loves us and he wants us to be happy. For us, he smiles and lets us know it will be ok, because his will is good. To us, he will bring much joy and happiness, because he is the chosen one.

Yes, everyone. David Ortiz has returned, and the sacrifices made to bring him into our lives are tolerable. Let us rejoice... and destroy Joba Chamberlain. Amen.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mr.Awesome: Living Up to the Title

Yes, loving Mike Lowell may very well be considered a national pasttime, but it's perfectly ok to reiterate that fact every five minutes or so. I love Mike Lowell. Even when he's slumping, I love Mike Lowell (and, you know... most of the other guys on the team)

The man, the myth, the legend.... David Ortiz is doing that whole "coming back" thing tomorrow night, which should make everyone happy. Even if his timing is off for a week or so, we've got him back! I wasn't entirely sure we would get him back this season. Having Ortiz in the lineup does wonderful things for my confidence.

Dahmer was... well, not bad. I'm not entirely convinced that he's the one who should be in the rotation (... is Bartolo Colon coming back this year?), although Fetus looked really good out of the bullpen, which is something that you can't really say about anyone else out there. If Fetus can keep up the good work, maybe I'll feel more confident about the jolly band of pirates.

Rumors that the Red Sox are looking into Juan Uribe... presumably to take over for Prince who (in limited work) has been just short of miserable this year... have started to pop up. Oh, trading deadline season, how I love you.

So it's another freaking week of no Thursday games. Ok. I'll live, especially since they got off one of their most sucesssful road trips of the year (.500!). Oh Fenway, please be more kind than the road.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jason Varitek: Still makes me happy after all these years

And oh, the many years there have been. People have been (fairly) criticizing his AB's lately. He hasn't been getting it done. But the old dirt dog showed me that there's something left. There's enough of a reason to give him a 17 year contract and never, ever let him walk away from this team. Ever. Ok, so that may be a tad bit dramatic, but you know what? 2 or 3 years is do-able. Isn't it?

2-run home runs are always welcome. But if they're from Kevin Cash (they're not. trust me) then we can credit them to Doug Mirabelli. We know who is the real backup catcher. Thanks, Cash, for ruining that series in LA.

Another big story of the night? That's right. Binky. Bow down, bitches, the kid is turning into pitching royalty. I don't hate to say I told you so.

Don't forget Jed "Anyone is better than Lugo" Lowrie. Something about a 2-run double... I don't know, I was too busy fixating on Tek and Binky. Love those men.

Speaking of men that I love... hey Mikey Lowell... is everything ok, dearest?

Anyway, if you wanna see some half-disturbing pictures of the inside of Curt Schilling's shoulder, head on over to and witness all that is the makeup of a big-game-pitcher's deteriorated shoulder. Yay! Speedy recovery, Curt...

PS - three more days until the return of he-who-hits-walkoffs. Shhh!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

ASB: Breakdown

It's kind of fitting that this All-Star Break was housed in New York and was one of the biggest disappointments I've seen in a while

First of all, Josh Hamilton is really the winner of that home run derby, but Justin Morneau gets the giant novelty check? Because he hit two more home runs in the final round? Even though he ended with THIRTEEN home runs less than Hamilton? My God, will awarding people who don't deserve awards ever end at Yankee stadium? I guess you don't even have to be a Yankee to reap the benefits of the disgusting bias over in New York, you just have to be not as good as someone else.

Well, Justin Morneau fits that bill, so he "wins." Seems kind of like that most valuable player award he didn't really win... maybe it's a Canadian thing.

And we all know another award that went to someone in Yankee stadium who really didnt deserve it.... There was a guy named Gonzo who probably fell over in shock after that was announced... I'm just saying, a fielding percentage 10 points less than Gonzo, and more than double the amount of errors leads to a gold glove? Whatever.

The All-Star game itself was on the boring side.... fifteen innings? Why are we pushing our players for fifteen innings in a meaningless game (yes it IS meaningless) when they could be resting. This was more of a punishment for those poor guys than it was a privilege... honestly now, Bud.

From what I hear, the red carpet parade was terrible and obscenity laced. New Yorkers... really now. Threatening a pregnant woman? Swearing in front of kids? Acting like complete neanderthals? Can't you muster up one shred of decency and realize that these guys were with their families, trying to enjoy the festivities? Disgusting behavior. Everyone who swore and threatened should be ashamed of themselves. But they're not, because they're NYY fans, and lord knows most of those people don't have any concept of decency at all.

You want to threaten Papelbon? Fine. Don't threaten his wife. She didn't do anything to deserve that. You want to boo the Red Sox (even though they were technically on your team for the night, you morons). Fine, boo them, but do it only on the field and stop swearing in front of their kids at a parade. I guess Yankee fans are just to bitter to appreciate the fun of an exhibition game. And don't give me the crap "If it had been A-Rod at Fenway, you guys would have done the same thing." You're wrong, and you're stupid if you think this. Yeah, he'd get booed, but the bullshit at the parade? Yeah, don't bet on it.

Now that the Not-Really-the-House-that-Ruth-Built love fest is over, they can demolish the place knowing that nothing significant will ever happen there again. Thank God.

Friday, July 11, 2008

New York Yankees: Ten Things I Hate About You

This one, strangely enough, is actually going to be hard for me, but here we go...

10) The 'Stache. No, really, it's hideous. And it makes me a little bit queasy, just seeing it sit there, being unproductive and disruptive like Julio Lugo's fielding. Between the shiny shared thong and the 'stache, Giambi might be auditioning to join Julian in the adult film industry. And nothing about that sentence is ok. Nothing at all.

9)Joe Girardi. Actually, he doesn't belong on this list at all, I just needed an excuse to mention him. He's friggin hilarious! Really! Listen to his press conferences, and you'll see what I mean. Bickering with the media, getting obviously upset over repetitive questions, and not actually saying anything important. I love it. Joe Girardi makes me laugh, and he should make you laugh too. If you don't laugh at his misery, you have no soul. But I do hate that I don't get to see nearly enough of his press conferences. You should hate that, too.

8) Bobby Abreu plays the wrong character. Bobby doesn't seem to care that he's pretty much born for the role of an ewok. He's been demanding to play Chewbacca at all of Johnny Damon's Star Wars themed birthday parties. Says Damon, "Bobby doesn't like um uh get it um, man. He like uh should um be the uh little um ewok. He's like, um, not big enough to um uh be Chewbacca. He's um ruining uh the whole um damn uh party!" Johnny then burst into tears. Abreu's response was to growl and walk away, causing Kyle Farnsworth to cry with Johnny. That kind of selfishness is just deplorable. Hasn't Bobby ever heard of the concept of 'team?' You can't just do what you want to do if it hurts your team. (Actually, now that I finished writing this, I find it kind of funny that Star Wars was the first thing that popped into my head when thinking about the Yankees. Thanks a lot, Lucchino!)

7)Mike Mussina does not have antlers. You can't be called a Moose and be antler-less. That's just ridiculous and upsetting.

6) Hal Steinbrenner. He's really dropping the ball here on the family insanity. Seriously, Hal, when is the last time you said or did anything controversial or amusing? Your brother has that market cornered. Since your father really stays out of the picture, there isn't much competition for the title of Family Quackjob. Don't let Hank run away with it. I know you have hidden bits of wisdom to blurt out. Instead of saying that Joba Chamberlain is Josh Beckett, try something like "Joba Chamberlain is the next Doug Mirabelli." Sure, everyone will look at you and ask why you think he's going to turn into a handsome Italian catcher, but keep them guessing my friend. Keep them guessing. So far, you get an F for fail.

5) Susan Waldman. Don't know if I spelled her name right. Don't care. All I have to say is... HA!

4) They don't listen to Kevin Millar. Ok, I'm not going to complain about the fact that in '04, they disobeyed my Ducky when he said "Don't let us win tonight." Thing is, they're stubborn, so Millar could have said ANYTHING and they would have disobeyed him, just to prove that they don't have to listen to anybody. "Don't wear pink tutus on the field tonight," Millar could have suggested... "Don't roll around in poison ivy tonight".... "Don't make me a pizza tonight"... "Don't leave your sleeping bag at Jeter's tonight"... "Don't feed Mariano Rivera that extra chili dog tonight"... "Don't sleep with that washed up 80's singer tonight" (So I guess he got around to saying that last one after all). If they had just listened to Millar, they wouldn't be such a laughingstock right about now. Millar has this uncanny ability to be right*, so by ignoring him, the Yankees are trying to prove they don't need his wisdom. They do. And don't you ever forget that, Yankees. Stubborn, arrogant baseball team... Oh, and thanks Ducky!

*Disclaimer... that might not actually be true.

3) 26 Championships/rings. This is, by far, the most overused phrase in the history of Yankeedom. It's especially annoying when followed with "compared to your 2 championships" because that's just ignorant. Listen, Yankee fans, if you want to be proud of Yankee HISTORY (pay close attention to that word, now) that's fine. You should be proud. But let's not forget now that most of those championships were won before people like me were born. And if you're going to count your ancient championships, keep in mind that the Red Sox have a couple of those, too. Pretending that they don't just to prove the point that you used to be relevant is foolish. We have more than two, idiots!

2)The average Yankee fan. Arrogant, annoying, and entitled. I don't know many Yankee fans who aren't brainwashed by the '26 rings' mantra. And they have the nerve to complain about Red Sox fans? You know, complain about the fake fans all you want. The ones who act like they know everything, but can't name the starting lineup. (Which, by the way, New York has tons of). But pay attention to what your team is doing. Just because the Yankees have a great history (see, it's that word again) doesn't mean they're entitled to be good now. And you know what? They're really not. Ask the Rays how relevant history is right about now. Exactly.

1) They stole Johnny Damon's soul. And I think he's too stupid to know it's missing!

Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays: What I Hate About You

I was inspired this morning by a journalist over in St. Pete's to post up lists of what I don't like about other teams. Tampa Bay gets to be the first team I trash for no reason! The Yankess will probably be next, but I don't know if they're even worth my time. Before I start, I want to clear up the fact that I don't necessarily HATE any team, and most of the things I am going to say about all teams are completely made up... like, really, ridiculously, no-truth-whatsoever made up. Because this week, I'm all about rumors, baby. Without further delay, my ridiculous list.

Hey (Devil) Rays.... here's 10 things I hate about you!

10) You changed your name. I physically cannot say the names of the team in this league without adding (Devil) to yours, so the fact that you REMOVED the Devil (via exorcism, I'd imagine) is more than just a little bit inconvenient to me. And let's face it, it's just a little bit selfish, too.

9) Your stadium is stupid. OK, coming from a Red Sox fan, this may be laughable. But at least in our park, when Ortiz hits a home run so high and deep into fair territory in the outfield that it has a distinct possibility of bouncing off the moon, and maybe knocking a few meteors off a deadly collision-path with this planet, it always counts as a home run. We're less concerned with giving cats areas to roam than we are with counting home runs, thank you.

8)Cowbells. Unless you have Christopher Walken in attendance every freakin' night, there is NO need for more cowbell. I don't have the fever, and the cowbell is just getting on my nerves. Who brings a damn cowbell to a baseball game anyway?

7) Joe Maddon can't sing like Weezer. But he tries damn hard to look like them. I don't think Rivers Cuomo would appreciate knowing that someone is ripping off his look because he's been working towards that exact look for decades, and he's still got quite a way to go. Maddon, on the other hand, swoops in while Rivers is attending college and steals the look from under his nose. That's just not acceptable. I mean, have you ever heard Maddon trying to sing "El Scorcho"? It makes me react with my own horrible rendition of "Say It Aint So." Listen, Maddon, I know that you wanna be cool with the kids, and you're gonna keep doin' the things that you wanna do, but really now. I'm offended. And no, I'm not going to buy your version of the Green Album!

6)Scott Kazmir hates penguins. How can anyone hate penguins? Shame on you, Scott, and the organization that employs you. And don't give me the bull that penguins killed your parents. We all know it's not true, and you said that last week about bunnies. That's just wrong.

5) Eric Hinkse hits for you. Not for nothing, but Eric Hinske couldn't figure out which way he was supposed to hold the bat when he was playing for us. Hell, sometimes he wouldn't even use a bat. He'd go up to home plate with a golf club. That's giving new meaning to the phrase "automatic out." How did he turn it all around once he left us?! Did you hide his golf clubs?!

4) Carlos Peña. He's from Haverhill. You have no rights to him. Give him back now.

3) You stopped respecting Timmy Wonderpitches. Ok, this is just unforgivable. I don't know if perhaps you lost the memo, but you're not supposed to give Wake a hard time, especially in your craptacular "ballpark." The deal is, he pitches against you, you flail stupidly against the knuckleball and lose the game. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS! That's how it's worked FOREVER. Just because you feel like winning does not give you the right to win against Tim. Pick another pitcher. Fausto Carmona. Mike Mussina. Zack Greinke. Anyone, I don't care! Just not Wakefield. It will not be tolerated. For that matter, I just know Dougie is planning something for you to bring you down to earth. He can do that. He's Italian. Oh, and screw Kevin Cash.

2) No one on your team has a name beginning with the letter "H." That's some serious racism right there. I mean, we have Hideki Okajima, the Yankees have Hideki Matsui, the Angels have Howie Kendrick, the Astros have Hunter Pence, the A's have Huston Street, the Cubs have Henry Blanco... should I go on? Oh, I know you'll use the excuse "Well, we're not the only team who doesn't employ anyone who's first name begins with H." But gang mentality won't work here. Russia wasn't the only one to try communism, but I didn't approve of that either! As a matter of fact, Scott Kazmir isn't the only one on Earth who doesn't like penguins. Does that mean I approve of all people who don't like penguins, just because they aren't the only one? NO! Ridiculous!

and finally... 1) You think you've won something. Excuse me, but do we mock you by playing your silly little Bay Ray superhero cartoons on the big screen at Fenway when you lose to us? In case you forgot, we're still the world champions. Beating us in the regular season doesn't make you the champs. Remember that. See you in September.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Jason Varitek: No hitting into triple plays for him!

That's right. It was not a triple play, but a beautiful, well-deserved RBI single. Take that, Minnesota! Surprisingly, and wonderfully enough, that wasn't even Jason's only hit for the day. I loved it. It made me happy. I just wish I had seen it!

I am so impressed with this game, but sad at the same time because 1) Today is an off-day after an afternoon game AGAIN, resulting in far too much baseballlessness for me before the ASB, and 2) I don't think the bats will be awake like that for the rest of the season. Call me crazy, but 18 runs is not something we generally put up. And by "we" I mean "The Red Sox"... you know, the Boston flavored ones.

The only thing that made me sad was Joshua. And even then, I dont think he did so bad, necessarily, although that ERA keeps creeping up. He's just under 4 right now. I'd really rather him be just under 3, but hey, can't have it all. And from what I've come to understand, Josh tends to have a hard time with the Twins (referencing his last start in the reg. season last year, of course)... maybe he just doesn't expect them to give him as much of a hard time as they do, and he's always surprised. That's ok, we love Joshua anyway for his kickassness and badassery. I love those words.

So, I guess that's all I really have to say. Happiness abounds, folks. These are the good days that we've been waiting for. Such a shame we had to wait until the ASB to find them.

Oh yeah, some guy named Big Papi is almost ready for a rehab stint. Almost.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Dougie Mirabelli: He Wins Games For Us

Oh my, Dougie was in the house last night... not the House that Ruth built, that place isn't good enough for him. Nor was he in MY house, because, well, God just doesn't grant those kinds of wishes (yet). No, Dougie, our BELOVED Dougie, was at the Fens. There is no way anyone could convince me that he's not the reason we won the game. I think it was all the more justifying having him there and watching Cash almost blow the game. If Dougie were catching, Lester wouldn't have given up five runs. That's bad game-calling, Cash. And it's because you suck. Dougie, on the other hand, does not suck. He fills our lives with love and happiness and knuckleball catching to a degree that you will NEVER understand. At times, he filled our lives with magnificent home runs, and snazzy pin-striped suits. What does Cash fill our lives with? Nothing, really. Nothing but disappointment. So, there's my obligatory Douglas Anthony Mirabelli praising. It will never be enough, but at least it's something, right?

Kurt Wagner actually won a game for us last night. Way to go, Kurt! Honestly, I was starting to wonder if the kid had it in him. The answer: sure, why not. We needed a win, Kurt got us a win (with help, of course, from the aforementioned Dougie).

Just in general, seeing the guys get timely hits makes me feel good. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, kind of the way you feel on Christmas morning when you realize that yes, you do have the day off from work, and the Monopoly board is coming out of retirement! That can't be only me, can it? Everyone loves Monopoly.

Manny hitting that 2-run home run came exactly thirty seconds after I mumbled the phrase "Geez, when's the last time this team hit a home run." It was nice timing, and it made my pseudo-bitterness disappear completely.

Top that with (I can't believe I'm even going to write this) a Yankee win, and I'm feeling pretty good about the baseball activities of yester-night. Even if Papelbon did allow a baserunner. It's all good, folks. May Doug be with you. (and also with me!)*

Disclaimer: No, I do not think Dougie is God, or god-like. But I'm sure God does LIKE Dougie. How can he not? Doug was made in his image.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Manny Ramirez: Remembering how to swing a bat... one day at a time.

Folks, around here, Manny gets away with just about anything. By here, I of course mean the Boston metro area, and probably a large portion of New England in general. Why does Manny get to do whatever the hell he wants? Because we're terrified that if we call him out for anything, he'll stop hitting, or demand a trade, or do some other perfectly juvenile thing. That's just how he is. Perfectly juvenile. He's perfected the craft of acting like a whiney little high school student. Regardless of this, I adore watching Manny. Last night was why. I know he's still got it. He can still win games. He'll never grow up, but as long as he can win games, I can put up with his ridiculousness. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I cannot approve of the slander vs. Varitek I was reading on unnamed websites last night. The thought of people badmouthing him makes me die a little inside. I know he's not hitting! I realize he's 15 for his last 120 or so, ok? I know. Just lay off. If people can find it within them to support POS through his slump last June, shouldn't the Captain get far more leeway and far more support? Really now.

I just found out that POS's wife's name is Sulky. Really? Sulky? I guess I would be sulky too if I found myself married to him. But I'm extremely biased, so...

I want to start a rumor that Munchkin goes to playgrounds before each game and pushes around little kids so that he can feel authoratative. Then he steals their ice cream money and laughs in their faces. He does this because he can, because it makes him powerful, and because he really likes ice cream.

That is all. In a good mood after a win, and hoping the day flies by so I can go home and nap.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Yankee Series: Annoying? Oh Yeah.

I hate picking in Tito. It hurts me emotionally, and lately I've found myself doing it more and more. Trust me, I hate it. I want to not have any bad thing to say about Tito! I am just so frustrated with the last two games of this series that I have no one else to blame... except Kevin Cash. It's all Tito and Cash's fault. Damn you, Kevin Cash!

I was pissed that Wakey was taken out of the game in the 7th inning yesterday with one out. Knowing how absolutely terribly our bullpen has been lately, why would you ever take out a starter who was pitching well just for the sake of getting Javier Lopez work? I'm sure Tito had his reason, but come on! Really? Javier Lopez? Why didn't you just ask Luis Alicea to pitch? Better yet, why not leave in the starter?

I'm one of those people who subscribe to the theory that starters are babied. I know that you'd rather have your starter pitch 200 innings and pitch incredibly well in the playoffs than pitch 240 innings and be unable to win a game in, for a completely random example, the 2007 ALCS... But that doesn't sway my opinion that starters should go seven innings or more, unless they truly do not have it, or look like they're wearing out fast. Wake was not wearing out. When Dice-K was taken out after the 5th inning, he was just hitting his stride. Let them pitch. That's what they're paying them for. Stop babying the damn millionaires.

I love Jason Varitek, and will never EVER say anything bad about him, but... Tek, darling, with a 2-1 count, you don't swing. Ever. There's no excuse for swinging at that pitch. Make him throw strikes! Of course, I'm talking about the 9th inning of Saturday's game... and hell, it might have even been a 2-0 count. I was at work, listening on the radio, and I feel like I never know what's going on when I have to listen to Castiglione.... I know that it was a 2-something count, definitely not 2-2 though. Jason is foresaking all the laws of hitting, and I'm not sure why. Because he's better than that and he knows it. I know it, too, that's why I'm keeping the so-called faith. The hits will come, when he stops acting so awkward at the plate.

Lugo is the great end-all. Bite the bullet, Theo, and dump his ass like we did with Rentaripoff. At least Edgar could hit.

I maintain that if Papelbon spent less time bitching about his salary, and complaining that he's the next Mariano Rivera, and making stupid music videos, and promoting everything for sale in the known universe, he wouldn't be hitting this rough patch.

Hey Paps, when you can pitch like Rivera (see: 2 IP no runs), maybe we'll consider you the next Rivera. For now, work on getting your ego in check, and keeping the base runners (by the way, why are you allowing so many baserunners) out of scoring position. Thanks.

See you all at Fenway tonight, hopefully while the Sox aren't getting their collective ass handed to them by Minny.

PS - Ortiz, we miss you. Please come back to us!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

No comments

I've got nothing to say about this last series. The boiling anger inside of me prevents me from commenting.

Have a happy 4th, everyone, and I'll be back on Monday. Hopefully by then, the Sox will have actually won a game

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Our entire offense: Seriously, WTF?

To say that I'm annoyed and pretty disappointed in the last four games is pretty accurate. I'm really trying not to let it get to me too much, because we're only 2.5 games out, and we've got half a season left to remedy that. I understand that. Really, I do. But it doesn't make the losses sting any less.

This makes the losses sting a little less. And stuff like this makes me ignore the losses all together. (Ps... that last one was borrowed from There are some good pics of the 2004 parade there)

It's Manny month on my calendar, so that means it's time to start busting out of this I-don't-care-about-playing mode. I love Manny, I do. Usually I'll even downplay his stupid antics. I'll tell you, though, after his last little spectacle of shoving down poor Jack, I kind of want him disciplined. Something. Anything. I hope it happens even if I don't hear about it. Because Manny's been getting on my nerves a bit. And that makes me sad. Especially when I see him standing at the plate with an unusally bothered look on his face, sort of like he'd rather be getting a root canal than batting. I'm used to Manny's aloofness, but he's taking it to a whole new level when we really need for him to carry the team for a while. Drew did his part (so of course, now he's back to staring at strike 3's to kill rallies), and now it's Manny's turn. Time to wake up, Ramirez.

From now on, I'm blaming Kevin Cash for everything. I wholeheartedly blame him for the loss last night, and now he gets the distinction of being this year's Wily Mo Peña. As much as I loathe POS, I'm going to blame Cash for everything, including Varitek's slump. Damn you, Kevin Cash!

New game tonight. New pitchers. Hopefully an offense that's awake. I'd really hate to get swept at the Trop again to those stupid (Devil) Rays. Somehow, the players must channel the Big Papi of 2006. That Big Papi was incredible, and he knew how to win a game in his last AB (not that 2007 Big Papi was bad, I just think the earlier version was better.) Maybe later if I get bored, I'll post my favorite versions of the players from our two championship teams that I actually care about. Then again, maybe I won't. I don't know!

Again, I urge you all... stop voting for Red Sox players to be in the ASG. Can't you see how badly they ALL need a few days off? And Manny probably wouldn't show up anyway!