Monday, December 29, 2008

The Josh Bard Experiment: Part Two

So Josh Bard has been signed to a one-year, non-guaranteed deal? Interesting. Does this mean anything at all for the status of Jason Varitek and his possible return to Boston? Goodness, I hope not. For as bad as Tek is at bat, I adore him, and find it very very hard to stop adoring him. He was the one that really got me hooked onto baseball, but good. I don't want to see him in another uniform, and it hurts me to know that I can't do anything about it.

Josh Bard isn't a bad player. In the short time we had him before, he hit pretty well, even if he couldn't catch a knuckleball. The thing I didn't like about him was... he replaced Dougie, and that's just not cool by me. Now, Dougie's gone for good, and we had no catchers, and Bard had a terrible offensive year last year, so it just makes sense to bring him in.

I can't decide if I think it's a brilliant move or if it irks me when Theo lets the free agents who had good years in the previous season sign with any other team (usually the Yankees) and he goes after the free agents who had terrible years the season before, banking on a bounce-back year. Or he'll pick up players that all other teams got rid of because they just couldn't do it, and expect gold. He does get lucky with these signings once in a while, but I fear that he's getting too used to signing these type of players. The two guys that Theo's dragged into the mix this week, Bard and Brad Penny, both had down years in '08. I know that he's signing them while their value is down, hoping that it'll go back up, but doesn't there come a time when you have to stop shouting "hit me!" at the blackjack dealer, especially if you're already holding a pair of tens. Chances are, you're more likely not to get that ace than you are to get 21.

Now that I've lost myself in my own analogy, I'll close this by saying... Bard is no Dougie, but I guess he'll do.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Brett Farve: Is how it should be spelled

I hate that the Patriots' season depends on old man Favre.

Red Sox are close to signing Brad Penny for a year... because he, apparently, is a fabulous catcher.

Randy Johnson signed with the Giants.

Everything else is relatively slow. Waiting.... waiting.... waiting....

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Good, I'm glad he's a Yankee

It just seems so appropriate that Teixiera would be a Yankee... and convenient.

I am aware I'm in the minority, but I was not willing to give up Mike Lowell for this guy after rallying so hard to keep Mikey in a Sox uniform just one short year ago. I ADORE Mike Lowell. I don't even like Teixiera, despite the fact that everyone else seems to think he's the second coming of Jesus - complete with water-to-wine abilities.

Truth is, he was never going to sign with the Red Sox. If that wasn't obvious by the little charade he put on, then people aren't paying enough attention. We were three runs away from the world series this year with an ambulance full of injured guys. If MT wanted to go to a winner, he would have signed here, but he held out until the Yankees made an offer. He wanted to go to New York. We weren't going to woo him.

Strangely enough, I got a text message yesterday from someone saying "Looks like Teixiera is going to sign with the Sox," to which I promptly replied "F*&k Teixiera. I hope he signs with the Yankees." And then a half an hour later, the story was picked up that MT agreed to sign with the Yanks. Considering I harbor great dislike for both entities (MT and Yanks), it's just so much more convenient for me to focus all of that hatred in one direction. I really don't like hating guys on my own team.

So everyone can cry and moan that eMpTy is going to be a Yankee, and how they're gobbling up all the free agents on the market. But don't worry, it won't get them anywhere. A team of all stars hasn't won a championship for them yet. What makes you think it's going to work this time?

As for me, knowing that Mikey is going to hang around makes this a very Merry Christmas indeed!

PS - Kevin Cash has also signed with the Yankees... and we still haven't even got one catcher. Seriously, Theo, it's time to get shit done. Not that I wanted Kevin Cash back, but still. Actually, for the same reasons I'm happy eMpTy is on the Yanks, I will also be happy that Cash is on the Yanks. Yay for clumping all the people I dislike together! Do they happen to want Lugo too?

Monday, December 22, 2008

Tidbits for a Terrible Monday

This Hot Stove season... it keeps simmering out right when it seems like it's going to warm up. Blame Scott Boras.

My Favorite sports-related people of the weekend:

1) Wes Welker - Best announcing job of the Pats game "Wes Welker has four receptions, one touchdown, and one snow angel." His snow angel was one of the most smile-inducing things I witnessed all weekend.

2) Jon Lester - For winning the TYIB award for his no-hitter. Yay!

3) Rajon Rondo - I honestly just adore Rondo. Really I do!

4) Brett Farve - That was a great Jets game.

My Least favorite sports related people this weekend:

1) Mark Teixiera - If I never hear his name again, it'll be all too soon.

2) Scott Boras - If I never hear his name again, it'll be all too soon.

3) The refs who called an unsportsman-like conduct penalty on Welker - come on! Snow angels are NOT unsportsmanlike.

I guess that's it. Sorry, no news isn't always good news.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Winter Meetings Make Me Happy

At least there's something to talk about now! Let's see where we are with free agents...

1) Fatass Fraud Sabbathia signed with the Yankees. I can't imagine a better destination for him. Have you seen the way he performs in the playoffs? I bet him and A-Rod will be bunking together before long... I give this transaction an A, because I'm just so damn happy that we didn't get stuck with him!

2) K-Rod signed with the Mets. Good for him. I mean, for an overrated stat, teams are really putting value into this whole 'saves' thing, aren't they? I will miss him, as the Sox tend to have fantastic luck against him in the playoffs. I guess if we happen to meet the Mets in the World Series, we'll be in good shape. I give this transaction a B.

3) The Mets acquire JJ Putz from Seattle. Can't say that I blame them for shoring up their bullpen, considering how eye-bleedingly terrible it had been. Two top-tier closers? Good idea, Mets. Hey, if Seattle wants to give him up, why not take him? For the Mets, they get an A-... not many really good closers want to be forced into a set-up position. We'll see how it works out for them.

4) The Red Sox have made Captain an undisclosed offer. Boras insists that there's a huge market for Varitek. Captain may be coming back after all, when he has no other options left. Do the right thing, Boras, get your client a job. And then spontaneously combust. Thanks.

5) The Yankees are trying their hardest to woo Derek Lowe, AJ Burnett, Ben Sheets, and just about anything else with an arm (including, apparently, Manny Ramirez. Hey, he has an arm...). They'll probably land Burnett, but I doubt they'll end up with all of them.

6) John Smoltz is considering the Red Sox, and a few other teams. I don't know about this... I mean, I've always liked John Smoltz, but he's not getting any younger and he just came off shoulder surgery. I assume if we don't offer him some kind of contract, the Yankees will. If we do somehow end up with Smoltz, I won't be mad.

7) Theo is also continuing the process of drooling all over Teixeira. He wants him bad. I haven't seen Theo want anyone this bad since Drew. And we all know how that ended... I don't care how good Tex is, I don't like him, and I don't want him on the Sox. Knowing that I have absolutely no say in that annoys me. His face just bothers me. Especially if we end up having to trade Mikey because of signing Tex, I will never be able to root for him. I just couldn't do it. Even if there were two outs and the bases loaded in the 9th inning of game 7 of the world series, and the Sox were down by a run, I couldn't cheer for him. I just couldn't... because I don't like him.

8) Lolo... AKA Mark Loretta has agreed to sign with the Dodgers pending a physical. Good luck, Lolo!

9) Jarrod Saltalamacchia still wants to come to Boston. The Sox are looking into Andy Pettitte and Rocco Baldelli. Theo doesn't want to trade Buchholz. Or Masterson. Or Ellsbury... or just about anyone with any form of talent on our team (except, possibly Mike Lowell... damnit!), and he's expecting to get anything done? Ok.

10) The Red Sox are also showing interest in Carl Pavano. Strangely enough, so are the Yankees... oh wait, not strange. He's got an arm, too. I could have sworn they tried the Pavano experiment already. The Sox are also interested in Brad Penny. I'll bet a dollar that the Yankees are too!

11) I heard a rumor somewhere that the Yankees were trading Melky Cabrera to the Brewers for Mike Cameron.

12) Another rumor says that the Red Sox and Diamondbacks are conversing over a Lugo-for-Byrnes deal. Dear God, please let it happen. All I want for Christmas is to lose Lugo!

Most importantly... Theo told Jay Payton's agent that he is not interested in bringing Payton back. Thank God. Cookie points for Theo...

In other news - thoughts and prayers go out to Matt Cassel and his family after the sudden death of his father.

My thoughts also go to the Patriots, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot and now potentially go into Sunday's game vs. the Raiders with no quarterback who's played at all this season... I think they also lost Bruschi. And probably two other guys. So it looks like Belichick will be at QB on Sunday... but none of that is Cassel's fault. He needs to take the time to be with his family, and I understand that. Football comes second.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I ask for news, I get news

According to Ken Rosenthal, the Red Sox and Dustin Pedroia have just agreed to a six-year deal worth about $40 million. The Red Sox are buying out Dustin's first two years of free agency, and offering an option year for 2015.

Good for Munchkin! At the same time, I worry that this now makes him trade bait. Not that Theo would be stupid enough to give a GG, Silver Slugger, AL MVP away just because he can, but I worry. I really do want Munchkin around until 2015 and beyond if necessary. I also think Pedroia could have gotten more money out of them, but what's done is done (assuming it is actually done, because it's not official yet)

Now lets hand out some catcher contracts!

Update: Wow, ok... so I missed that whole Matt Holliday being traded to Oakland thing. Where the hell was I?

Hot Stove Season is Killing Me

I can't be the only one who is jonesin' for some kind of trade or free agent signing. No giant acquisition at Thanksgiving again this year... sigh. The Red Sox FO and their tight-lipped process sort of bugs me, not because I think it's a bad practice, but because I seriously cannot be expected to quit baseball cold turkey for four months. I need something to get me through... something like a 12 step program. You don't take away an addict's drugs at the pinnacle of their addiction and say "You'll get these back in four months. See ya!"... there has to be a middle ground. There has to be some sort of process to slowly ween us off baseball. Going from exciting playoff games to nothing? Harsh.

Junichi Tazawa is nice and all, but he's not the fix I need.

They've also signed Billy Traber to a minor league contract. And they don't want Rafael Furcal. Wonderful. Could we get some real news in here, please?

So, in non-player-related news... the Red Sox will be selling bricks. If you buy a ridiculously overpriced brick, you are guaranteed an opportunity to buy tickets for '09. But of course, you have to enter a lottery to be eligible to buy a brick. What is this world coming to when you can't even buy a brick without a stupid lottery? Bad Larry Lucchino!

Sox ticket prices will remain the same this year, but it will still be just as ridiculous trying to get tickets. Luckily for me, I didn't have a hard time getting tickets last year, although my friends probably wondered what happened to me when I was stuck in assorted virtual waiting rooms and listening to assorted phone-robot voices for months on end. Listen, I got tickets, that's all that really matters in the end.

My beloved Captain and Gargoyl have been offered arbitration. Deadline is, I believe, December 7th. Some sources would have you believe that Varitek is expected to take it, but the realistic people out there should know that Scott Bora$ isn't really going to let his darling client accept anything less than 18 years, 500 billion dollars....

Hyberbole happens when I'm bored. I need me some baseball, but soon.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Junichi Tazwa: Physical Pending...

Waiting on the word that all is good with the physical on Japanese rookie Junichi Tazawa. Looks like he'll be joining the farm system next season. Seriously, everyone, he's a rookie. Not even a rookie. He's a minor leaguer and he'll go whereever his talent level in spring training dictates.

Jay Payton wants to return? Please, dear God no...

Derek Lowe continues his push back into Boston. Stay tuned.

Red Sox offering arbitration to Varitek? Does that seem like a bad sign to anyone else? No? Just me then. Not ready to let go yet!

Nothing interesting going on. Another slow hot stove season. Sigh