Beltre: Has Something Against Camels

As much as I don't like Adrian Beltre (because he is not Mike Lowell), I am absolutely going to give him credit for last night. He was, by far, the star of the game with his two home runs, single, triple, and 6 RBI's. Yet another occasion where one of our guys gets the hard part of the cycle out of the way, but can't quite get there. It's ok, because I don't know if I'd remember them hitting for the cycle anyway. So kudos to Beltre. He provided the early pop we needed, and perhaps his RBI's gave John Lackey a reason to believe that there are good things ahead and he needs to pitch well in order to see those good things. Beltre was the catalyst in this game. Two home runs in consecutive at-bats in consecutive innings? Yeah, I'll take that from him any day.

And, as usual, props to Papi for his own 2-run blast of the night. Yup, Papi is ok. Took him a while. Took the whole team a while, but Papi and the Sox seem to be back on track. I guess it's true that how Papi goes, so go the Sox. We scored five runs in the 9th inning, and it was all started by a Papi single, followed by a Youk walk, a Beltre triple, a Wolverine single, a Cameron single, and a Ronald McDonald double cheeseburger... assuming base hits are cheeseburgers. Which they so are.

Lackey was good enough. He went 6 1/3rd, allowing 2 runs and four walks on 115 pitches. He had one strike-out to show for his effort, but the bigger thing was that he didn't take the Sox out of the game early. Our bullpen held down the fort again. They may have gotten plenty of time off over the weekend, but our starters are starting to give them a little bit of work again, which is fine by me. Oki finished up the 7th for John. Rambo and Nelson each got an inning, collected one strikeout a piece. Sure, Nelson allowed a run in the 9th, but again... when we have a nine-run lead, I don't care if the bullpen gives up a few runs. As long as they don't give up nine (ok, so I may have used different numbers last time I said that, but the principle applies anyway). Hey, we walked away with a win. Our pitching staff must have been doing something right. They actually did plenty right, and I'm so happy that we were able to sweep the Rays. Sure, it wasn't a four-game sweep like they treated us to, but I'll take it.

We're now in third place in the division, after Toronto lost to LA. I was tracking the game on Gameday. Bottom of the ninth with the game tied and a runner on 3rd, one out, Toronto elects to intentionally walk two guys in a row to load the bases. Of course, it didn't entirely matter because Bobby Abreu singled in the winning run. So, good. Abreu finally did something I approve of. Thanks, Bobby!

Also, another game in which our suddenly great defense did not allow an error. Excellent. This absolutely, 100% cannot be the same team.... can it? I'm amazed. Now that we've gotten past Lackey's start with a win, I think tonight is our next big hurdle. Dice-K's been alternating between good starts and bad starts. Considering his last start was awesome.... I don't know. He's also facing the Royals, so he's got that going in his favor. We'll see what happens.

Also... Celtics? Stop being the Bruins! NOW!

Off days are for losers.

Actually, off days are just boring. Adding into the fact that yesterday was an afternoon game of which I got to watch exactly ZERO minutes, that's two days in a row of baseballlessness for me. I do not appreciate that.


Considering that gameday always has java errors on my computer at work, I was also not allowed to keep track of the game, so I really have no firsthand knowledge of what went down. Apparently, Fetus pitched well but was limited to five innings. JD (who really deserves a better nickname at this point) and Mr. Awesome lit it up at the plate. Pretty Woman almost blew the game. Strike-out-king Manny Delcarmen (who did not earn that nickname from striking out batters) saved the game, but that dancing fool Papelbon got the credit for the save. POS still did nothing useful.


I want to emphasize how annoyed I am with the rotation. I've gone to a pretty little handful of games so far this season. I want to see Beckett pitch. Before the season, I wanted to see Schilling pitch because I have never seen him pitch live. It never seems to work out. I've seen Beckett pitch, but come on, I love the guy. I want him to pitch every time I'm at the ball park. He always wins, or at the very least, we always win. The last two times I saw Beckett pitch live were at the Mother's Day miracle game last year (Ducky won that game for us. POS was trying to end it with a loss), and Pedro's return to Fenway. Both resulted in wins. So who have I seen pitch live this year? Dice-K twice, Wakefield once, Buchholz once, and Lester FOUR FREAKING TIMES. Granted, I got to see the no-hitter and I adore Binky, but c'mon, give me a break. Let me see Beckett just once this year!


I thought I would be seeing Beckett, because of the way the rotation fell. Colon was not pitching; he's hurt. Dice-K was pitching Saturday. Lester had pitched on Tuesday. There was one logical choice for Sunday's pitcher.... Lester? What?! NO! It was supposed to be Beckett, but Tito, in his endless quest to cause my death, decided to give Beckett extra days off. Of course he did. Tito, you can kiss my...


As usual, I will support Binky and I will adore Binky, but when do I get to adore Beckett?


Anyway. I want to clarify my stance on sports. In case anyone was wondering why I made a banner for the Celtics and clearly stated that I don't like basketball.... I support Boston sports teams. All of them. Even the Revolution (as long as you don't make me watch a game). I have allegances to the Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics, the Bruins, and every other damn sports team in Boston. I support college sports. I will not watch them, but I support them. Because I'm proud to be a Boston fan, and I believe in taking pride in your city's sports teams. I never want to see another city kick the ass of any Boston sports team.


I will watch football, basketball, and hockey only when they are in the playoffs, because that many regular season games would drive me crazy. I tried desperately to get into football this past year, but the truth is, I don't understand the rules completely and the game itself frustrates the hell out of me. Basketball I don't actually dislike. I used to love playing basketball. And in my own little junior high team, I made two all-star squads and was team captain for 2 out of my four years. So basketball is ok with me. It's just that watching it tends to get a little boring at times. Regardless, I root for the Celtics even if I don't watch them. I tend not to watch them.


But I do follow them. I have different friends that are intensely passionate about these sports that keep me updated on them. I know people who will update me on the Bruins if I haven't been paying much attention. I'm aware of what the Revolution is doing, generally. And in this town, how could you avoid knowing what the Pats and Celts are doing. No one ever needs to tell me whats going on with the Sox.


Which reminds me of a funny incident. At Lester's no-hitter, a 'gentleman' introduced himself to me and my friend. He asked if I watch the Sox a lot, and he was surprised when I answered "Of course I do. I watch almost every game." As if the notion that a fan at Fenway caring about the Red Sox was so ridiculous, the 'gentleman' countered with "No way. Really?" Ugh. People.


However, you will never see me wearing any Boston sports shirt other than my Red Sox gear (nothing I own is pink, thank you). The only exception is my Tedy Bruschi jersey which I bought because A) I was trying really hard to get into the sport, B) Tedy is awesome and I love his Papa Gino's commercials, and C) It was on clearance. I'm not going to pretend that I'm crazy in love with the three other main sports in Boston.


But I do support them.


Go Red Sox.
And everyone else.

Binky: Shutting up the Phillies

Binky was just about everything I was expecting out of him tonight. He threw strikes. He was efficient. He went deep into the game, and he gave up no runs. None! Imagine that. This was the tone that needed to be set for Boston sports tonight.

We saw the decaffeinated versions of Drew, Manny, and Tek tonight, but even that didn't matter. Jolt-cola Coco stepped it up again and provided us with all the offense we needed. Munchkin's still in his little slump, but that kid is making pitchers work. Moyer only lasted five innings, so again, Munchkin does his job and works the pitcher and helps get them out of the game early.

Oki and Paps were brilliant tonight. Very nice work by the both of them. Perhaps the aliens that have periodically replaced them returned the originals tonight. If not, then those aliens have been practicing. Good job, extraterrestrials!

I don't know about everyone else, but I'll be watching a basketball game late into the night again. I'm hoping it's the last one this season. If I'm not too tired, I'll post in the morning.

Go C's!

Bartohno Colon: Bartolo's less talented twin

That, good people, was not Bartolo Colon. That was his far less talented brother Bartohno. So don't be surprised if for his next scheduled start, the real Bart has no idea why people are asking him for an explanation of his last, miserable start. He will have no recollection of it. He did not pitch.

Bartohno, on the other hand, looked terrible. He looked terrible on the mound and at the plate. Come on, Ohno, even I wouldn't swing at pitches like that, and I have no kind of baseball training whatsoever. It was just our luck that Frankie and POS were getting on base in front of him, and he just failed to drive them in. Needless to say, Ohno did not help himself last night, but he did hurt his own cause.

The Admiral's ERA has jumped up to 7.06. At least that's what they said on WEEI this morning, and I'm inclined to believe them. 7.06 may be my favorite day of the year (that's July 06th for anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about), but it makes for a lousy ERA... a terrifyingly lousy ERA. The Admiral is all washed up, but why does he have to take the ship down with him? Sorry, Admiral, you know I love you but please stay away from the mound. Thanks.

WHY does Tito torture us with these stupid, stupid pitching decisions? There is no situation I can think of where I actually want the Admiral on the mound in a 2-run game. Maybe if we were playing against 7 year olds, I'd throw the Admiral out there, but at that point I'd just be ashamed. If we can't overcome a 2-run deficit handed to us by 7 year olds, we have no business playing in the bigs. Knowing Tito, he'd probably ask Julio Lugo to pitch. The guy can't even get the ball anywhere near first base, do you really think that he can get it in the strike zone? Yeah, neither do I.

Damnit, Tito. Just damn it.

Even Munchkin's 3 hits and back-to-back homers with JD did nothing to save us. Manny must have grounded into 18 double plays last night. With Manny, all things are possible. Admittedly, I did not watch the last two innings of the game. I was tired from watching another Boston team lose late into the night on Sunday, and I'm actually very tired right now from being annoyed at the two Boston teams who have trouble on the road. It's going to make for a long two days if the Celtics can't get it done tonight. I'm just saying.

It's up to Binky tonight to set the tone for the evening in Boston sports. No pressure or anything.
On the plus side, David Ortiz had his cast removed... it's never bad to have Big Papi one little itty bitty step closer to returning.

Michael Averett Lowell:Making Life Grand

Was that not one of the prettiest things we've gotten from Mikey Doubles in a while? Don't answer that. It WAS. It was one of the best things Mike has done all season. Sure, he's done plenty of other wonderful things, but this one my friends... this one opened up supernatural floodgates and released magic upon all things Boston. Yes he did! But Mikey can do that, and that's one of the many reasons he is Mr. Awesome. I bet you can't do that. No supernatural floodgate opening for you. Nope.

It's always nice to see the Admiral have a clean inning, too. I'm fairly sure that murder rates in Boston go down when the Admiral is happy. Like I said before... would you arrest him for shooting people? Yeah, neither do the police. They know when to just let it go, and Theo Epstein knows the consequences of not getting that man a new contract. Why do you think he's still employed. I love the Admiral.

MDC also pitched well, but the story on the pitching mound was my Binky. I was at Binky's no-hitter. It was one of the proudest moments in my life as a baseball fan. I don't think I need to mention what was the proudest moment was. Ever since they brought up Binky from the minors, I've felt protective of him... which I know is weird, but honestly I don't care. A lot of people put a lot of limits on the skill of this kid, and although many others didn't limit him at all, I felt he had something to prove. Well, folks, pay attention because Binky's been proving it. He's a really good pitcher. I don't care what people say about him. I love this kid as much as you can love someone you've never met. I'm sorry that I call him Binky, because that's not tough or inspiring, but it fits. At least in my mind it does... Anyway, don't think for a second that some of Mikey's awesomeness didn't contaminate the pitching staff last night. It did.

And somehow, it also found it's way all the way out to LA. Did you SEE that comeback?! I didn't. I went to bed. Could someone tell me about it?

Come on, Celts. Banner 17 is ready and waiting for you guys. You just need to finish the job.

And dispose of that annoying Bryant fellow, would you?

Oh, and by the way POS... don't think I haven't noticed the addition to your errors collection. God, I hate you...

Fetus: Developing into something wonderful

Fetus pitched well today. Any time you can match up with Erik Bedard and come away with the win, you've done well. This little person-to-be really intrigues me because I can see him turning into something great. Hell, he already has more wins than Flyswatter does as a starter, and he comes with far less hype.

In the bottom half of the innings, Nancy's been doing his best Papi impression to show us why he was worth the money. Did I think it was a good deal? Hell no! And I never will. Little Tek could be batting .025 for the season and sentimentality would win me over every time, and I'd at least platoon him out there in right. Seeing Nancy in #7 is a slap in the face to me. But he's been producing, so I guess I'll cut him some slack this time. Good job, Nancy. Thanks for your contribution.

Does anyone else think it's wrong that POS has a higher batting average against Bedard than anyone else on the team? How is it possible that he has a higher batting average against anyone? I just don't get it!

Munchkin may be in a rut, but he did some great things in his AB's today. I'll give the little one credit for getting Bedard out of there after the 5th. You can't tell me that working the pitch count has no positive effects. Had Bedard pitched nine, Fetus would be walking out of there with a ND, I'm sure of it. So congratulations, Red Sox, and congratulations Fetus. One more day in first place!

To Fetus: A message from Pedroia regarding your 3 major league wins:

.... well, you get the point anyway....

Oh, and another win for that basketball team everyone keeps talking about.

Covelli: The Revenge-Bringer

Grumpy has earned a place in my heart. Never in the history of him wearing a Sox uniform have I been more proud, or entertained. This affection may only be temporary, but oh, Grumpy, thank goodness for you. Never did I think you had the stones to charge the mound. You proved me wrong!

Yeah, he'll get suspended, as will a handful of (Devil) Rays... who, as we all bore witness to, are still relatively evil deep down. You can take the Devil out of the name, but you can't take the evil out of the players. That's the God-who-loves-the-Red-Sox honest truth. Carl Crawford, you've made Joshybear's list of people to remember... at least I really, truly hope you have.

I want the fear of the aforementioned God to be inserted, painfully, deep into your soul... if you even have one.

We all know Gomes is on the list. And the Yankees. He's not going to forget mop-up-man Farnsworth throwing at Super Manny's head. I assume he doesn't forget these things. Because when Joshybear is on the mound, I want the badassery to flow from his angry, Texas fingertips and explode in the faces of the evildoers. I, undoubtedly, will laugh and point at little fools like Carl Crawford. You know... they know... we all know something will happen the next time the Sox and Rays/Yanks face off. We know it. We feel it. We want it. You can almost feel it burning in the pit of Joshybear's stomach. Ass-kickery and badassery abounds!

This, of course, is assuming that anyone else on the Sox actually cares about Grumpy. We're going to pretend they do. For today at least, I do to.

Good job, Grumpy!

Oh, and I heard the local basketball team won a game, or something.