Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Jonathan Tyler Lester: More "Nails" than John Lackey

You knew it was coming, didn't you? The sickening, mushy, love-filled rant of a girl so proud of a man she only met once... briefly. A post so adoration-intense that even I myself cannot bear to read my disgusting run-on, happy-happy-joy-joy, I-told-you-so, I-love-him-so-much type of rant. But here it is.

Did you SEE Jon Lester out there? My God, he's been so good, I can't even contemplate calling him "Binky" right now! He was everything he needed to be, even without the praise of the God-forsaken TBS announcers. They've got nerve saying that Jon was turning into a man before our very eyes. Jon has proven himself before. This was just another step. He was ALREADY a man, and now he's morphed into something special - a "BAD man" (tm Manny Ramirez). Make no mistake, last night was not some revelation of what Jon Lester could be. It was a demonstration of what he's been all damn year. If the guys on the booth didn't know that, then, well they must be Angels fans.

They obviously were. I damn-near threw my remote at the TV when the stupid one (specific, huh?) muttered a condescending "siddown!" to one of our hitters. I couldn't believe they were showing that much bias. Nothing our guys did was right, and nothing the Angels did was wrong. And calling Pedroia "El Caballito?" Yeah, that ruined him for the series. Thanks, assholes.

I also admit to shaking with rage and telling Tito that I hate him (through the TV, of course) once Fetus surrendured the tying run. I know, I probably would have done the same thing, but I'm allowed to react all angry and hot-headed, because I'm a fan. That's what we do. We live and die with this team, whether or not Mr. Ramirez likes it. That's how it is. You wait 86 years for a title, and you understand how each and every little play becomes so important to your goal. I swear, being a Red Sox fan is not for the weak. It's been better since '04... sort of... but winning IS addictive, and I think there's still some residual fear that one day, we'll have to go another handful of decades before winning a championship, so let's do all we can now to satiate our need, right? Right.

Kazerud, enjoy the second round of the playoffs. I know there have been a whole bunch of firsts for you on this team. I really hope your enjoying the ride. But JBay, it's ok to smile once or twice. Be happy. Let the happy show. It makes us happier for you.

Nice job last night, C+. Excellent timing for your first hit of the series, Munchkin (I wasn't worried about you... you started slow in the playoffs last year, too). Super clutch single, Lowrider. Bet you never imagined that you would be winning playoff games for the big club this year, did you?

Jon, you're amazing. Josh, I know you can be amazing. You've got a giant, looming assignment ahead of you. Take it one step, one pitch at a time. You'll be ok - you're too good not to be ok. I just know it. Dice-K... don't nibble. I hate nibbling. Lester used to nibble. He doesn't do that any more, and look at him. Awesomeness. Awesomeness indeed.

Admiral, I'm going to hope you're on board with us for this one. I just feel like you deserve to be there more than some of the other guys. You've earned another chance. Mikey, it hurts me to say, but I'm glad you're sitting out. I don't know a single person who didn't feel pain watching you try to grind it out and play through that injury. I admire your courage, now just sit back and relax. The rookies have got you covered, no worries.

Francona, sometimes I want to slap you. Other times, not so much.

Congratulations to the 2008 Boston Red Sox, heading to the ALCS again, and hopefully ready to do some damage (to the Rays, not themselves). Good luck, boys!

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