Friday, May 6, 2011

Red Sox: Allergic To .500

That's it. That's the answer. I've been thinking long and hard about this and it seems obvious now. The Sox are simply allergic to being a .500 team. Every time they start to get close to it, they have a reaction (of crappy baseball) and then it takes them a few games to recover. It's the only possible explanation for this team, a team that we've SEEN play incredibly well, to be as bad as they are. Oh, they're bad. Sure, they can get better, but they haven't gotten around to it yet. How long are they going to keep us waiting?

I'm not even going to rehash the 13-inning disaster that ended at almost 3 AM yesterday because I didn't watch it! Sure, I watched the first seven innings, but as soon as Vernon Wells hit that two-run home run, I shut it off and went to bed. Best decision I've made all week. We didn't have a hit. In seven innings, we couldn't manage one hit. I think that's why I was so disgusted to see we ended with 11 hits. We managed 11 hits from innings 7-13 and we couldn't push through the go-ahead run? Fine, guys. You don't want to win? Fine. I slept through it, so it couldn't upset me much.

Ok, I lied a little. That last paragraph was nine sentences longer than I intended for it to be. But I will get to Lackey. I don't know anyone who thought the Lackey signing was a good thing, but games like this kill me. We needed an ace to go out there and help the bullpen; instead we get Lackey getting lit up in four innings against his former team. I'm sure after the game, he said it wasn't hit fault. Sun was in his eyes, or the ball wasn't properly prepped or some other silly excuse. I've been laying off Lackey a lot, mostly because he hasn't sucked horribly, so I won't rip him to shreds today. All I'm saying is that this performance is far more indicative of what his has to offer than his previous outings. He's a garbage pitcher, and should have never been signed.

Not that the offense was helping! I mean, goodness, I always say I can't get too mad about how bad the starter is if the offense doesn't bother to show up. This is a special case, of course, seeing as how the bullpen was demolished the night before. We went three full innings without getting a hit off of JOEL PINIERO! Are you kidding me? Joel "I'll Let You Hit This Ball Over The Wall" Piniero.... why does this guy always make the Sox look stupid? He made them look stupid when he signed here, and he continues to make them look stupid (with the bats) every time he comes through town. What is it about this guy?! That's really the only unforgivable part of the game for me. Piniero. Ugh. I don't have a stomach strong enough to be ok with looking foolish against Piniero.

I'm tired. I'm tired of the way this team is playing, and I know they're tired of it, too. What is it going to take for them to break through? Do we need psychiatrists for every player and coach? Sleep deprivation? Torture chambers? What?! Someone better figure this out soon, because it ain't April any more and they're still sitting three games under .500.

Timothy gets the spot start tonight, replacing an already-used Dice-K. I'm sending Timmy all the best wishes and happy thoughts that I've got, because he deserves them. Come on, Sox, give Timmy a win. You owe him.

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