Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Pedroia Strangles Crawford: In A Good Way

Before you lecture me, yes, I know I am now two days behind on blogging again, but I am determined to catch up! All for you good people. We start the month of May with a delightful game that I'm happy to get to recount for everyone. Allow me to tell you the tale of Timmy Wonderpitches....

A long time ago, a young man named Timmy wandered over to Fenway Park. He was downtrodden and sad, having been tossed to the side by his former employee. Timmy wasn't sure what would become of him. It was a crazy time, my friends. Crazy for Timmy, crazy for baseball. The year, 1995. April 26, 1995 to be exact. At the big green gates to that old park, Timmy found himself a new life. Sure, he was used, abused, and blamed.... frequently taunted by the residents of that old, green park, but deep within those taunts, love was developing. Somewhere along the line, the quiet, understated Timmy won us over. That brings us to May 1st, 2011 (I KNOW I skipped a lot of the story, just bear with me). Timmy's coach, Tito, hands him the ball with a simple request, "Just cover for Clay." This is not a situation that Timmy had never been in. He was, as he always is, ready to do what was asked of him. Knowing we hadn't seen much of him this season, the fans were anxious over what he'd bring to the mound. Five and two-thirds innings later, Timmy had given us as close to a quality start as possible, leaving the game with no runs having yet scored for the opposition. Timmy was in line for a win... a win he badly needed and deserved.

And then Jenks happened.

The evil dragon Jenks galloped (Shimmied? Stomped? Trampsed?) to the mound, stealing the ball from good ol' Timmy. With mischief in his eyes, and lack of location in his heart, he proceeded to allow the Ancient Mariners a single and three walks, ensuring that Timmy would not win on this day. Man, I feel like we've heard this story too many times before.

The other residents of that old, green park tried mightily, but could not manage to score off of those Ancient Mariners. Until the 9th inning, that is. The Legend of Jed Lowrie stepped up to face Wright, who thought he would vanquish the young warrior. On this day, Wright would prove to be very wrong (I know, I'm super clever), because young Jed pummeled the great white orb into the sky and asked the sun gods for assistance. These gods who had taken a great liking to the young warrior shone brightly, blinding Ichiro the Wonderful who was trying to stop Jed and the residents of the old green park. Ichiro the Wonderful lost sight of the great white orb and it fell, allowing young Jed to scurry three diamonds forward. But he knew, that young warrior did, that he couldn't do finish the task on his own. He called upon a disheartened warrior to help him.

Carl of Crawford stepped wearily up to face his opponent. He wanted this battle more than anyone knew. Three times the great white orb challenged him, and twice it bested him. That third time, however, he was victorious. A thud sent that orb passed He Who Was Not Wright, finishing the battle for young Jed and letting the residents of that old, green park hold their heads high for one day. It was a new dawn, indeed.

And then Pedroia stormed the field from the dugout and grabbed Carl in a hug, refusing to let go. I'm pretty sure Pedroia is still hugging him right now.

See, guys, this is why I shouldn't be left to my own devices. What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, Crawford's hit drove in the winning run. I couldn't have asked for it to happen to a more deserving guy... but I cannot forgive Jenks for blowing Timmy's win. Still, a great win is a great win, and it's always so much better at home. Great job, Carl! And Timmy!

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