Friday, April 15, 2011

Ernie Follows Dahmer: Latest Sox to Get More Money

The deal that we all already sort of new about has been made official. Adrian Gonzalez has signed a 7-year $154 M contract extension. While this is not really new or shiny news, it's something, and I've been trying to be very good about posting daily. I'm not jumping up and down for joy, but I'm not disgusted with the deal either. We'll see what he can do. Hopefully once he gets really hot, he'll be bedazzling the Monster with baseball-shaped dents. I hope he makes a scorpion on the wall. David Ortiz would be happy, and anything that makes Papi happy makes the world happy.

I don't know about the guys who have to suit up tonight, but I feel pretty refreshed. I've gotten plenty of rest and relaxation, and now I'm ready to face baseball again. I just hope the Sox feel the same. I've been doing well avoiding the gloomy naysayers who want me to give up on the season two weeks in. Are you joking? I waited months for this season. I'm going down with this ship. It's pretty awesome, though, to see around the blogosphere just how many real, passionate Sox fans are also avoiding the media panic. I'd go so far as to say it's delightful. Are you delighted? I'm pretty delighted.

We get another lefty in Brett Cecil tonight. I feel like all opposing pitchers are suddenly lefties. How did that happen, universe? Did you hear me declare that it's gonna be JD's year and decide that you were going to keep him out of action as much as possible? Let the man have his year, universe! Come on! I don't know if he is or isn't in the lineup tonight. My guess is no, but if I'm wrong then cool. Either way, we counter-offer with Dahmer on the mound. I the last time I said I liked our chances with Clay pitching, he got lit up.... so, I'm going to be passionately ambivalent about our chances.

I'm going to go out on a bold limb and predict that the Sox will hit more home runs than the Jays tonight. If they actually do then awesome. My evil plan will have worked. If they don't? Well, shame on them for making one of their devoted fans look like a jerk. Don't make me look like a jerk, guys. I'm plenty capable of doing that all on my own.

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