Dear Dan Haren: Get A Haircut

Heading into this game, I was hearing a lot of 'Dan Haren is the AL ERA leader' and 'Dan Haren is 4-0! FOUR AND OH!!!!' and also 'Dan Haren looks homeless.' I cannot debate any of these points. Dan Haren has the money. He can pay someone to shave that thing off his face. I'm not here to make fun of Dan Haren, though, even though I sort of enjoy typing his name.... Dan Haren Dan Haren Dan Haren. Ok, onto the game. It was actually another good one! But you already knew that because I'm posting three days behind.

For the second night in a row, CRW got the scoring started with an RBI double in the 3rd, putting the Sox up 1-0. In the 4th, Carl Crawford 'drives in' two runs on a fielding error. Does he get credit for those RBIs? I think he does. If not, I'm giving him credit for them... and eventually, I'm going to get to the point where I need to keep a spreadsheet to keep track of all the imaginary stats I am awarding this year. In the 6th, Drew drove in Lowrider to give us our fourth and final run, which we would need like nobody's business. Though, getting four runs off of Haren isn't shabby, is it?

In the other half of the innings, Lester struggled a little bit. He didn't pitch badly, but you could see he was laboring, throwing too many pitches and not making the pitches he wanted to make. He still was able to go six scoreless, throwing 111 pitches, allowing four hits and two walks while collecting eight strikeouts. You know he wanted to go deeper in the game, but we'll take six excellent innings. Matt Albers pitched the 7th, allowing one run on a single to Jeff Mathais. The score was 4-1 heading into the bottom of the 8th. And then Jenks happened.

I didn't really know what to make of Bobby Jenks to start the season. I didn't pay much attention to him in Chicago, and I haven't been mighty impressed with him this season so far, but this 8th inning... oh man. Between Jenks and Salty, this was one act short of a tragedy. This is how the inning went: Double, RBI single, flyout, wild pitch (Abreu to 2nd), flyout, passed ball (Abreu scores... from SECOND. BASE! Why is it the one place Jarrod didn't look for the ball was BEHIND HIM! THE BALL IS BEHIND YOU, JARROD! TURN AROUND! CHRIST!), walk, groundout. I don't care how sloppy Tek's fielding has been so far this season, though it's been just fine, he wouldn't let a runner score from second on a passed ball. Jarrod, for goodness sake, get it together. You're better than that, aren't you?

So now, with a one-run lead to cling to, Paps comes in for the ninth. Aside from a single, it was a good ninth, and no heart attacks were involved. Sox walk away with their third win in a row, defeating AL EAST ERA CHAMPION and generally homeless dude, Dan Haren, and Jon Lester gets a win that he really deserved. Seems like that doesn't happen often enough, huh? Up next, Dice-K Matsuzaka vs. Ervin Santana... gee, I wonder how it ends!