Monday, June 23, 2008

Joel Piniero: Couldn't pitch like that for us.

He did not pitch well. I need everyone to understand that point clearly. Joel Piniero is not a good pitcher. He's not even half as good as our boys made him look yesterday afternoon.

I was at this game. Sitting through the absurd hour-long rain delay when there was NO RAIN. It rained about 20 minutes before the game was scheduled to start. The following hour of sitting in sunshine with the tarp on the field was beyond annoying. Maybe it was another way for the front office to make more profits off of beer and hot dogs, and OH what a sales day they had. A rain delay AND extra innings? That's the type of baseball day that Larry Lucchino fantasizes about from his delightful lake-view house in hell. That's right folks, Larry Lucchino is the devil, and that lake is the infamous lake of fire.*
*Disclaimer - I have no firsthand knowledge that Larry Lucchino is the devil, nor do I have knowledge of where he actually lives. For all I know, he's a very nice man, but he LOOKS evil.

Joel faced 26 batters. He struck out one, and walked one. He threw first pitch strikes to 16 of them. Only 16 out of 26! Fifteen of our players has at-bats that were less than three pitches. We certainly did our best to make his return to Fenway a grand one.

My mother accurately predicted before the game that it would go 13 innings. Of course I believe her when she says these things. I recall a certain game between Boston and Chicago right before the ASB in 2005. We played 19 innings. Guess who predicted that one? That's right. Mom did. She wanted to leave at the end of the 10th, and to be perfectly honest I was with her on that. We were at the park all day. So no, we did not see Asshat hit the walk-off, but we also didn't witness the miseries that were the 11th and 12th innings. I hear those were brutal.

Binky did a great. He got himself into a little trouble in the 6th, but it should have been easy enough for the hitters to make up for his mistakes. Too bad they all wanted to make Piniero look good. They should not get paychecks this week for making Piniero look good. Shame on you, Red Sox!

For God's sake, it was JOEL PINIERO! He WANTS people to hit off of him. See?!

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