I call Kevin Millar "Ducky"

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop myself from using this nickname. He doesn't look that much like a duck, but it works. Kevin Millar has to be Ducky in order to keep the universe in the right order. I mean, for chrissakes, I started calling him "Millar" and they decided that Pluto was not a planet! Talk about the universe being messed up. So he is Ducky. And he is my Ducky, and I love him.* I genuinely love when the O's play the Sox, because I get to see my Ducky, and even when he doubles consistently off our ace, it makes me happy. I can't envision a world where I don't love Kevin Millar. But I try to avoid envisioning the world where he loves me back, because honestly, that's just a little bit creepy.

*Disclaimer: Pluto not being a planet had absolutely nothing to do with my temporary discontinuation of the nickname "Ducky." Nor is Ducky technically "mine." But I will claim both anyway.

It's days like this that I miss Doug Mirabelli. I love that man, for reasons that far outweigh any benefits he ever brought to the team. Do not misunderstand - he brought great benefits, but my love was definitely out of proportion. I'm sure I'm not the only one who misses Doug Mirabelli... because more than anything else, I hate Kevin Cash. It's like he's pretending to be Doug, and that's just not acceptable. I mean, what's with the stupid facial hair? Doesn't Cash know that it's a Mirabelli trademark?! Besides, wouldn't everyone much rather look at Doug every fifth day? You know what? Even if I'm alone on that, I don't care. I don't see why we had to dump my beloved Dougie for that wanna-be Cash. Face the facts... Cash is no better than Doug at anything. He can't hit better, he can't catch better, and he really can't even run better. As far as age goes, Wakey's going to retire soon, so it's not like we were going to have Dougie around for much longer anyway. But now, he's gone, and I miss him so. I hope he's happy where ever he is.

Best quote I've heard from Beckett in a while: "We can get it from pretty much anywhere."

Ponder that

And by the way, who the hell replaced decaffeinated Covelli for this Jolt-Cola version? Man, this guy's actually got a personality?! Who would have known? I love it though. Covelli's talking and hitting. I will not complain.

So we have Bartolo going tonight against Cole Hamels... assuming he doesn't eat him first. Cole Hamels sounds like something you would be served in a German restaurant. Let's hope for his sake that this is not the first thing that pops into Colon's head. Let's get to the game!