Bartolo Colon: Easing the Loss of Dice-K

First of all, do not panic. Dice-K is not lost. He is merely misplaced. It happens to all good pitchers every once in a while. Don't worry, someone surely gave him a map back to Fenway by now. I'm excited for his return because it will give me an excuse to use this picture: Hey look at that! I found an excuse!

It makes me happy that this signing worked out for Theo, because I have one less reason not to like Theo, and I really don't enjoy not liking Theo. Sad truth is, I don't like him. Regardless...

Bartolo pitched well. The best part of the game, of course, were the beautiful home runs by the Captain and Mr. Awesome. Neither had been doing terribly, but they also hadn't been doing much, so this was nice to see. Especially since the Captain was under the weather, I feel all the more amazed that he was able to will that ball not only over the wall, but onto someone's windshield in a kind gesture to give someone a surprise souvenir. Unfortunately for now, I can't find a picture of that, so you'll have to do without. The Captain... he's a giver. He's not too bad to look at either. (That would be an understatement)

I did not see the last two innings of the game for undisclosed reasons (that I assure you had nothing to do with coffee). I did hear that the Admiral was not, to be kind, sharp. But do not kid yourselves. His hunting arrows are quite sharp, and he knows how to use them. And he's not afraid to. So, be kind to the Admiral, or you might have to pull a hunting arrow out of your skull. My guess is that it would be something you would not enjoy. Just a guess though.

What else happened last night... hmmm... OH! I know. One of the .500 teams in our division lost. Actually, ALL of the .500 teams in our division lost. So did those pesky (Devil) Rays, which is nice. It's always good to get a little bit of a lead before we head out on the road. Lord knows we'll need it. One more at home, then it's time for some interleague!

You can at least pretend to be excited.