Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bartohno Colon: Bartolo's less talented twin

That, good people, was not Bartolo Colon. That was his far less talented brother Bartohno. So don't be surprised if for his next scheduled start, the real Bart has no idea why people are asking him for an explanation of his last, miserable start. He will have no recollection of it. He did not pitch.

Bartohno, on the other hand, looked terrible. He looked terrible on the mound and at the plate. Come on, Ohno, even I wouldn't swing at pitches like that, and I have no kind of baseball training whatsoever. It was just our luck that Frankie and POS were getting on base in front of him, and he just failed to drive them in. Needless to say, Ohno did not help himself last night, but he did hurt his own cause.

The Admiral's ERA has jumped up to 7.06. At least that's what they said on WEEI this morning, and I'm inclined to believe them. 7.06 may be my favorite day of the year (that's July 06th for anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about), but it makes for a lousy ERA... a terrifyingly lousy ERA. The Admiral is all washed up, but why does he have to take the ship down with him? Sorry, Admiral, you know I love you but please stay away from the mound. Thanks.

WHY does Tito torture us with these stupid, stupid pitching decisions? There is no situation I can think of where I actually want the Admiral on the mound in a 2-run game. Maybe if we were playing against 7 year olds, I'd throw the Admiral out there, but at that point I'd just be ashamed. If we can't overcome a 2-run deficit handed to us by 7 year olds, we have no business playing in the bigs. Knowing Tito, he'd probably ask Julio Lugo to pitch. The guy can't even get the ball anywhere near first base, do you really think that he can get it in the strike zone? Yeah, neither do I.

Damnit, Tito. Just damn it.

Even Munchkin's 3 hits and back-to-back homers with JD did nothing to save us. Manny must have grounded into 18 double plays last night. With Manny, all things are possible. Admittedly, I did not watch the last two innings of the game. I was tired from watching another Boston team lose late into the night on Sunday, and I'm actually very tired right now from being annoyed at the two Boston teams who have trouble on the road. It's going to make for a long two days if the Celtics can't get it done tonight. I'm just saying.

It's up to Binky tonight to set the tone for the evening in Boston sports. No pressure or anything.
On the plus side, David Ortiz had his cast removed... it's never bad to have Big Papi one little itty bitty step closer to returning.

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