Sunday, June 19, 2011

George Kottaras: We Are No Longer Friends

We were buddies once. No longer.

Sure, Jon Lester struggled, but George... this is your fault. The loss is your fault. I'm sorry, but we can no longer be friends, and you need to return my CDs because only my friends can borrow my CDs. His third inning home run was technically the run that did us in. I don't care about the run that came after that. Casey McGeehee is fictional, as far as I'm concerned, so his run does not impact my life. But George? How could you?

Other people I do not want to be friends with are Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder. In the first inning, after Jonny had already tossed up two solo home runs, I said to Ryan Braun that I would be his best friend if he would just strike out. He doubled. I gave the same offer to Prince Fielder in the top of the 3rd. He walked. These guys are just mean. I get it. You don't want to be friends. Don't worry, I'll stop calling and asking you to hang out because I don't even like you any more.

On our side of the ball, Salty and Cameron were the only ones who bothered to bring those RBI's I asked for. Youkilis and Ortiz managed to get on base and set up those RBIs, but they didn't bring any of their own. Seriously, rest of the team, how are we supposed to have a baseball party without RBIs? It was incredibly inconsiderate of you to forget them. Why even have a party at all?

I'm not so mad at Jon Lester, because I am mentally unable to place blame on him. He gave up four runs, but he pitched eight innings and gave our hitters every opportunity to get back into the game. They decided not to. That was their choice. So, Jon doesn't get his tenth win, but if all goes well, he'll get another chance at it. Also, did I mention that Lowrider is on the DL? I can't remember if I mentioned it. It doesn't matter. Just like the last loss, I can't get all bent out of shape about it because we're still on top of our division. But I can promise you, I'll never invite George to my birthday parties again.

No comments: