Thursday, January 22, 2009

Rocco Baldellli: Red Sox Fan Favorite

It's true. The guy hasn't even suited up for one game with us yet, and everybody loves him. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that people loved him before he signed with us. I'm no different. Rocco won me over, and I'm excited to see what he'll do for us.

But what he did for the Rays fans, who theoretically didn't really exist before last season, was ridiculous. It was ridiculous in the sense that it comes off as so perfectly genuine that I cannot believe there could be a baseball fan anywhere on Earth who doesn't like Rocco. Seriously, how much more humble and classy can this guy get? A hand-written note? It brings a little tear to my eye. He hasn't played a single game for us yet, but I can almost guarantee that the results of his gameplay won't matter. People are just going to like him.

Oh Jason... don't you think it would be a wise move on your part to... I don't know... shut up? Don't take this the wrong way. As I continue to state over and over, I adore you. I do. But claiming that you didn't know how that whole draft pick thing works... it doesn't make you look good. Why not blame Satan? He's being paid millions of dollars to look like the bad guy, you might as well let him look like the idiot too.

I think Jason suddenly came to the realization that no one on Earth was going to give him a raise. No one would give him a four year contract. He's an offensive liability with a slimeball agent, and no GM in their right mind was going to give in. 'Tek must have looked up one day and realized that spring training is getting closer and closer and his options were getting smaller and smaller. Does he have any options left besides going back to the Sox? I'm not sure that he does. And as stupid as he's making himself sound, I believe Jason is a smart man. Groveling and pleading is the way to go, Tek, not lying. Lying just makes you look worse. Fess up. Say you believed Satan when he said the market for you was huge. Admit that he promised a giant contract and dollar bills flashed in your eyes. It's almost better to be delusional than idiotic.

When is spring training?

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