Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Jonathan Patmybum: No longer capable of crying poor

Well... I guess he's capable, but he's not justified. $6 million isn't a small amount of money. If Paps is happy, I'm happy. I'm just assuming he's happy, actually... since I have no actual way of finding out his emotional status.

Writing coherent sentences this morning is apparently not going to happen easily. My sleeping issues are catching up with my brainmeats and causing me to try to write the stupid out. I don't think it's working.

King Theo also avoided arbitration with Javier "I'll let you hit this ball over the wall" Lopez. Yes, I'm aware that he wasn't as horrible last season as I give him credit for, but really now. Lefty specialist... pfft!

So... my beloved Captain had a private talk with Skeletor (AKA John Henry... seriously, the guy is creepy looking)... there's nothing to report, but I think Jason is starting to realize just how little shot he has of getting the $80 million/4 year contract that Satan has been promising him. Of course those numbers are completely random. I have no idea how much Satan thinks he can get for Tek. But I'm sure his numbers are just as unrealistic as mine.

It's no secret I adore Tek (and make excuses for him always swinging at that godforsaken high fastball... Tek! it's over your freaking head, you're not gonna hit it! stop swinging!), but not even I would give Tek more than a year or two right now. I'm starting to think Satan may be taking some bad flu medication. How do you decline arbitration for a 36 year old catcher (who'll be 37 at the start of the season) who's bat speed has been in decline for the last few seasons, and who only hit .220 last year?! How do you do that? What on Earth was he thinking?

We've got less than a month before pitchers and catchers report to spring training (yay!), but I don't share Theo's enthusiasm and optimism for the little baby catchers down in Pawtucket. I just want to know what's going to happen to Tek. His uncertainty makes me uneasy.... far more uneasy that I am seeing him up with the bases loaded.

If he doesn't come back to us, I want him to go SOMEWHERE, and soon! I hate having the possibility lingering, because the longer it lingers, the more painful it's going to be when he signs somewhere else. And I just am not ready for a 'goodbye captain' post yet. I can't do it. Come on, Skeletor, he promises to be a good little catcher, and work really hard! Just one or two more years, and then he can become a coach of some kind!

I already miss Dougie, don't make me miss Tek too.

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