Thursday, July 7, 2011

Punchy Sort of Week: Cookies and Spine Punches For Jays Series

He looks ready for spine punches, don't you think?

I've been really good about not having Timlin punch many spines lately. It's part of my effort to be more positive about baseball in general, and I think it's going well. This week, though? A couple of punches need to be distributed. It's only fair. But don't worry, because there are plenty of cookies to hand out, too!

As a side note, I'm kind of surprised I'm still doing this. I'm way beyond my typical two-weeks-before-boredom mark. Oh well! Let's hand 'em out!

Varitek - 70 cookies - plus five for blocking the plate (I guess? Maybe?) and driving in one of our three RBIs in game 2.
Munchkin - 43 cookies, 1 spine punch - plus 2 for his GM 2 home run. Chicks dig the long ball, guys.
Wakefield - 37 cookies - plus six for career win #198, Sox career win #184
Papi - 35 cookies - plus 2 for the double that started the game 2 mini-rally.
Beckett - 30 cookies
Tommy Hottovy - 25 cookies
Youk - 23 cookies and 1 Timlin spine punch
Drew - 16 cookies - plus two for driving in a run in Gm 2
Lester - 14 cookies - plus three so his injury heals faster. Also for having a no-hitter for a couple of innings.
Tito - 12 cookies, one Timlin spine punch
Ellsbury - 11 cookies - plus five for having a great game 3.
Crawford - 10 cookies
Ernie - 10 cookies
Dahmer - 8 cookies
Salty - 7 cookies, 2 spine punches - plus one for a game 1 triple
Dan Wheeler - 7 cookies - plus six for crucial clean innings after the Lackey fiasco in game one.
Aceves - 6 cookies
Scutaro - 3 cookies
Lowrider - 3 cookies
Paps - 2 cookies, 2 Timlin spine punch - plus one spine punch and minus two cookies for two really bad performances in a row.
Matt Albers - 2 cookies for pitching in after the Lester injury
Franklin Moralez - 2 cookies for the same reason as Albers
Daniel Bard - 2 cookies.... see above.
Michael Bowden - 1 cookie
Yamaico Navarro - 1 cookie
Lackey - -14 cookies, 3 spine punches - plus three spine punches because HE SUCKS.
Jenks - 3 Timlin spine punches

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