No, Jonny, NOOOOOO!: Sox Win Despite Lester's Injury

Jonny Bear, how could you!? How could you strain your left lat and come out of a no-hitter before I even got home? I know I was a lot later than usual and I should have been there to watch you, but you knew I'd be there. Oh God, this is all my fault, isn't it?!

Faux melodramatics aside... I am kind of worried about Jon being injured. See, we sort of need him. Unlike the OTHER starter with the initials JL, THIS JL is actually important to the team. I just hope that with rest and the ASB coming up, Jon won't miss too much time, because honestly... we need him. A lot. Our left-handed Beckett. Our co-ace. Our no-hit hero. Am I pushing this too far? I don't care. He's vital. I love Jon.

Papelbon, on the other hand.... oh man. Jonathan, I seriously hope you took Tek and Ronald out for as much alcohol as their livers could handle, because they saved your dancing ass. With two out, two on, and two runs already in, Paps allowed a single to left. Encarnacion came running home. Ronald shot that ball back in to Tek like it was his job, and Tek blocked the plate and somehow by the grace of all that is holy, got the out at home. I know that John Farrel doesn't think Tek made the tag, but John? You're not in Boston any more. No one cares what you think. I barely cared what you thought while you were here. Since baseball refuses instant replay, you have to live with the call. To me, all biases aside, I thought he made the tag. Maybe I saw it wrong. Who knows? It was two great plays to cover up some crappy pitching from our closer. Jonathan, though, was the only pitcher out of the pen who had a bad night. Matt Albers, Franklin Morales, and Daniel Bard were all fantastic, stepping up huge when we needed them. Cookies are coming to you three. Just be patient.

So how did we score our three runs? Let me tell you a story....

Once upon a time in the magical land of Fenway, the mighty giant David stood on second base. Our hero, Captain Varitek saw him stranded in a sea of blue and cast a spell that made the little white orb that held mighty David at second fly into left field. David ran home safely and Captain Tek replaced him on the base. Seeing that the Captain was now stuck, the oft-injured JD The Broken took it upon himself to save Varitek from the curse of the white orb. He also sent the ball flying, this time to right, and the Captain was free to return home. Then one inning later, the Mighty Midget hit a home run, and that's your story, kids. Go to bed.

Yes, I know it's not even 8 AM, go to bed anyway. No? Well, you WERE good in listening to the story. I'll reward you with some lovely pictures of the Captain from Monday's game. Just three. I wouldn't want to spoil your appetite. Here you go.

You're welcome.