Monday, July 11, 2011

Friday Fight Night: Fights, Injuries, and Smack Talk

2010, haunt me no more! Leave me to my new baseball season! I told you before, it's not going to work between us. You're hurting the people I love just to get my attention, but it's never going to happen. We're never getting back together, so it's time for you to go. I've got a new season now, and we're pretty happy. You need to leave me alone.

Dahmer... Lester... Beckett. All injured. This is nightmarical. Nightmarical is the only word that properly describes having Lackey as the only starter left in your rotation. Terrifying isn't a strong enough sentiment; it's got to be nightmarical.

Thank God we were only playing the Orioles, so even with Josh out of the game, we had nothing to worry about. That's right, Kevin Gregg, your team actually sucks. So make whatever point you were trying to make by throwing at Papi. At the end of the day, you just looked like a jackass and your team still got whupped to the tune of 10-3. Yup, in two nights, the Sox outscored you 20-7, so the tough guy act is really adorable, but why don't you try actually winning games instead? Oh, you can't? You mean you're a no-talent hack who has been on five teams in the last six seasons and sports a career ERA of 4, and the only team left willing to let you implode in their bullpen was the Orioles? Also, it's not YOUR job to tell anyone else how to play the game... it's YOUR job to throw the ball and get outs. Can't see to do that, though, can you? Nice work though, Kevin, because this is the probably the last time you will ever be relevant in your career, so enjoy the attention.

It was insanity. Gregg is lucky that Papi didn't land that big hook he threw at him. I don't remember seeing David that fired up. He's a scary guy when he's angry. And seeing Marco Scutaro jumping on Gregg, only to be flipped around like a hula hoop? Priceless. Having Reddick make the third out of the inning because he abandoned third base to join the ruckus? Craziness. When's the last time we saw that happen? And what the heck did Salty do to get ejected?! Either way, this is probably the last I'll write about the fight, because Ortiz wasn't proud of it and I don't want to harp on something he wasn't proud of. Instead, let's harp on the offense!

Eight runs in the first inning. Yessir, eight. Five guys (not the burger joint) recorded RBIs in the first. Those fine gentlemen were Youkilis, Ortiz (on a home run... I guess if I were the Orioles, I would have been a bit miffed by him also), McDonald, Pretzels, and Ernie. There was a lot of sloppy Orioles fielding in there. My shortstop, JJ Hardy, looked pretty bad... but it's ok because I still love him. The O's starter didn't even last the inning, getting pulled with two outs. Do I feel pity for him? NO! You never pity the enemy, friends, even if you do sort of love them. Pity is for the weak!

Joshua got a little sloppy in the fifth, and then our loose-jointed starter gave up three runs, hyperextended his knee, and STILL managed to finish the inning without allowing five more runs. Weird how good pitchers can do that. I hope he's as ok as he claims to be because too much time without seeing Josh makes me grumpy. And nobody likes me when I'm grumpy.

The Sox tacked on two more, one on a sixth inning Pedroia home run, and the other on an eighth inning Reddickulous triple that scored said Munchkin... right before the fireworks. Yeah, crazy game alright... but we still won. Next up, the horrible reality that is John Lackey against the saddest team in the AL East. Nightmarical, right? Definitely.

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