Tuesday, August 5, 2008

What I think really happened

Ignoring last night's loss is the best medicine, folks. Trust me. Dahmer is just not ready for the bigs this year.

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and this is what I think really happened with all the Manny goings-on.

Scene: Red Sox clubhouse, hours before the game - June 5th

Tito: Manny, I need you to do me a favor.
Manny: Hold on, Tito, I love this song. (Manny puts his headphones back on)
Tito: No, damnit, it's important!
(Manny looks up at his manager, confused)
Manny: Ok, man, what's so important?
Tito: Youk insulted my head. He said his was shinier and balder than mine.
Manny: Ok.
Tito: I need you to tell me if you agree with him. 'Tek said it wasn't true, but Papi couldn't look me in the eyes. Casey said it wasn't true, too, but he'd never say anything to hurt anyone's feelings, so I don't believe him. I need you to be a tie breaker.
Manny: Listen, man, I aint gonna compare your heads, ok?
Tito: Manny, he insulted me! He took a shot at my livelihood and my manhood! The bald head is all I've got!
Manny: He hit you in the manhood!? Yo, man, that's so messed up. I'll take care of that little punk. No one hits my manager in the manhood.
(Manny gets up and storms out of the clubhouse)
Tito: Manny! Manny, come back, you didn't answer me! MANNY!

*Later, during the game, Youk is wiping off his head after standing up made him sweat profusely. Manny sees this as Youk rubbing it in Tito's face. He attacks, screaming "You aint got no right to hit Tito in the manhood, man!"*

End Scene.

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