Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Scutaro Saves The Giants: And Other Thoughts That Annoy Me

Marco Scutaro was the NLCS MVP.

Josh Reddick won a gold glove.

John Farrell is the new manager.

The first two annoy me because they won awards for other teams when they should have still been on our team. Give me one reason other than payroll that Scutaro was traded away. I LIKED Scutaro. He was one of the few who didn't quit in September 2011. And Reddick? There was just no reason to trade him. Who the hell did we get? Bailey? I don't want Bailey. Give me back Reddick!

Guys, this infuriates me. Instead of asking why can't we get players like that, I ask why we don't keep players like that? Why get rid of Reddick? Why trade Scoots when we clearly don't have a shortstop. Oh, I'm sorry... Nick Punto was the shortstop, right? Fantastic.

And Farrell? I don't have faith in a single person that our front office lusts after. They have a horrifying track record of lusting after the wrong man for the job. Lugo. Renteria. Dice K. Drew. Lackey. Failures. And John's record in Toronto leaves me nothing to feel warm and fuzzy about.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding it very hard to feel positive about this team for any reason. Just sign David Ortiz and give me a reason to give you my money, Red Sox. All I want is one damn reason.

And Bobby V. is an asshat. I don't need to justify. I just think he's an asshat.

So, here's what I think our lineup will look like next season:

Jacoby Ellsbury - CF - for the first ten games of the season until he breaks himself. To be replaced with random outfielder or infielder from Pawtucket and/or the local Quick Stop.

Dustin Pedroia - 2B
David Ortiz - DH
Amadeus Saltalamacchia -C
Who - 1B
I don't know - 3B

At about this point of the lineup card, fans are randomly selected from the crowd to take the field.

We clearly don't have a SS. I don't think we have any legitimate outfielders left... Loney isn't coming back to play 1B. I guess Middlebrooks might be on 3rd, but we'll see if he gets healthy.

Don't even ask about the pitching. It's just slightly more terrifying than the worst zombie movie you've ever seen.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Any chance the Red Sox pull some treats out for their loyal (and cranky) fanbase, or do they just keep assaulting us with tricks?


Lauren said...

See, I am thrilled about Farrell. Mostly because the front office seemed to be forced into it. You know, based on the superfail that was their initial intention: Valentine.

Jere said...

Wow, somebody was way off....