Pedro: Now The 5th Phillie I Can Remember

I have issues remembering who plays on the Phillies. The thought process usually goes like this:

Me: Hmm... I can't seem to remember who plays for the Phillies. Weird.
Also Me: What do you care? You can't even watch Phillies games.
Me: Well I do love me some good baseball, and considering they're the current world series champions, you would think I could show them a tad bit of respect and, uh, know them.
Also Me: Knowing players names doesn't make the game any more or less enjoyable.
Me: That's a lie and you know it. It is way more fun to shout, for example "C'mon, Jay Bay! You got this!" than it is to scream "Alright, left fielder, you can do it!" And before you ask, yes, I scream enthusiastically at my TV.
Also Me: So knowing all this... knowing about your fanatical, obsessive need to know players' names, you're telling me you can't name anyone on the Phillies?
Me: No, I can name four of them. That still leaves 21 guys that continuously slip my mind!
Also Me: Which ones can you name?
Me: Ryan Howard!
Also Me: That's cheap. Everyone knows Howard. Who else you got?
Me: Jimmy Rollins.
Also Me: Former MVP Jimmy Rollins? Yeah, he's kind of a recognizable figure also. Keep 'em coming.
Me: .... Shane Victorino.
Also Me: It's because of the nickname, huh?
Me: (long pause) Yeah.
Also Me: Not everyone gets to be called the Flyin' Hawaiian. Last one?
Me: Uh... hmmm....
Also Me: Oh Come on, this is YOUR list of players YOU remember.
Me: Wait! Chase Utley.
Also Me: All star.
Me: What do you want from me, I'm trying!

And it sort of goes on and on like that. Now, they've got Pedro, and as soon as he joins the big club, I can brag that I know of five Phillies instead of just four. What an accomplishment.

In all honesty, I think this is a bad move for Pedro. I think he'd be better served to just go back under that mango tree and enjoy retirement, because that's far easier on us than having him struggle his way through baseball. His fastball isn't what it used to be, and though I can't vouch for his location, I bet that's not quite as crisp either. Pedro was/is a baseball God. He will be in the pantheon of the greatest pitchers of all time. The man was insanely good. He was good. These days, or at least his last days with the Mets (almost a year ago)... uh, not so good. Listen, I wish him the best of luck. Honestly, I do. I want to see him do well, but I have reservations about how effective he can really be. Lets hope the Pedro experiment works well.