Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It's A Miracle!: Or An Injury. Your Call.

Ok, guys.... I checked the calendar at least fifteen times since I got the announcement (for the record, I got the announcement this morning). I am here to assure you that it is not December 25th, even if it feels like Christmas morning. And it DOES feel like Christmas morning.... and I'm as giddy as a child who just found her presents from Santa under the tree.

Ben Cherington is playing Santa in this scenario.

The present, as you know is Tommy John surgery. For John Lackey.

Call me a coldhearted bitch if you will, and lecture me on celebrating the misfortunes of others if you'd like, but we DESERVE to be happy about this! I deserve this, damnit! I sat through damn near every one of John Lackey's shit-tacular starts this season. I suffered through frigid temperatures, rain, blaring sun from which there was no escape, and overpowering fog that obstructed my view of the entire field. I suffered! And because of that, today I celebrate!

This doesn't solve our Mudpie problem, of course. I do believe he's signed through the 2015 season, but as a short-term solution, I'll take it. And I won't miss him.

Yup, I'm probably going to hell. It's fine, I'll have plenty of good company... and when I reflect on my life, I can think about how happy I was the day I found out John Lackey was going to be gone for 2012, and it will make my eternity in the lake of fire worth it.

I love you, Ben Cherington. I will make you extra cookies and leave extra milk by the fire for you this year.

PS - just for the record, I'm pretty sure this is the first post in which I use the two labels "Mudpie" and "Good things" together. Miraculous. Enjoy yourselves today, guys. This day belongs to the fans!


Anonymous said...

we need a heroic title for ben cherington. you're the best with nicknames. think on this.

Anonymous said...

As far as nicknames, I did offer up the fact he has arisen from the ashen rubble of chicken parts and beer bottles to become "The Phoenix" of sorts. Since that's actually a city housing a major league team, perhaps that's not the best choice. I trust TooSoxy's judgement you rock with nicknames. I am very happy for you and all Red Sox fans.