Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Red Sox: Doing Stuff and Things that Confuse Me

So.... what the heck happened yesterday? I'm confused. The Sox, last night, they scored more runs than their opponent? I mean, the fact that they scored runs at all is mind boggling, but more than the Tigers? I don't know what happened. Is that allowed? Should Bud Selig, in all his useless glory, be called in to confirm that this is legal according to the rule book (not that I expect Bud to know the rule book). We're (sigh) only 5.5 games back now, with still almost two months to play. Awesome!

All kidding aside, that was not a pretty win, but you hear it all the time... there are no extra points for style. Penny was decent. I'd like to see him go longer in the games, but I know I can't have everything. MDC blowing the save in 7th made me twitch angrily for a few minutes, but then I remembered that he's still upset about the whole Fetus debacle, and I forgave him. If it were me, I would have given up runs, too.

So there goes my psycho conspiracy theory that the Red Sox actually enjoy losing. I was so convinced! It made too much sense.... the swinging at the first pitch, the staring at strike three, the pretend injuries... All of them were pretend. Don't think for a second that Jed Lowrie is really hurt. He just doesn't enjoy baseball. I don't know why he does it. And Kazerud? Hamstring? Come on, our old left fielder used that one. At least come up with an injury of your own. I don't know what's bothering Drew this week. Wakey? Well, he's gotten used to his August vacations. That whole 'livelihood' thing really gets bothersome when the kids want to go to Disney, eh, Timmy?

Ok, ok, I'm done with my stupid joke. I get it. It's not funny, I'll stop.... I guess. I did tell you that if the season ended today, we'd be in the playoffs. I do not lie about important things like that. Everything else? All fair game. For all everyone knows, I don't really like Jason Varitek at all.


I have no idea what's gotten into me today. I can't believe I just typed that. It's almost sacrilegious. I think I'm just giddy from a beautiful, perfect, wonderful combination of a Red Sox win, a Yankees loss, and Shawn Michaels in a chef's hat. And if you aint down with that, I've got two words for you...


Mike Lowell.

Yeah, that works. Junichi Tazawa vs. Rick Porcello on the mound tonight. Do we think that Eck will learn the Japanese word for 'cheese'? Here's hoping.

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