Tuesday, December 20, 2011

As The Crickets Chirp: Darvish Finds Out The Name Of His Secret Admirerer

The Red Sox seem to have posted no bid for Yu Darvish, so there hasn't been much news coming out of my go-to media outlets about his posting process. My guess is that after the fiasco that was Dice-K, Keebler decided that the best bet would be to stay far, far away from that mess. Actually, I think the reason that Keebs has made such minor moves and has kept so quiet is his post-traumatic stress disorder kicked in at the mere mention of a posting process.

"No, Theo, don't do it!" He begged.

"Quiet, Ben. This Dice-K guy is a sure thing."

"Won't you please think of the children?! The children, Theo! They don't even know what a gyroball is! I'm not sure it really exists!"

"Enough out of you. Back in the basement you go."

And there Ben would stay, through the bidding and negotiation. He was only let out of the basement once the damage was done, and even then he was given a pencil and a piece of paper and forced to learn how to spell Matsuzaka. It's bad memories for him. He just couldn't go through that again!

Anyway, the Texas Rangers won the bidding. I guess they saw something in this guy, and if Nolan Ryan thinks he's good enough, then I'm looking forward to seeing him pitch. Against us. When we face the Rangers. Wait, why am I looking forward to this? I give up. It's been a slow week. In case nothing else happens and I don't check in before Sunday, have a very Merry Christmas, you all.

I'm sort of hoping that Santa leaves me a right fielder in my stocking. What are you hoping Santa leaves you?


sportsattitudes said...

I hope Santa leaves us a contract extension for Cole Hamels, a quick-acting healing remedy for Ryan Howard...and he fits Andy Reid into his sleigh and takes him away. (sorry, had to get that football wish in also...) Happy Holidays to you and yours...and everyone who visits here!

toosoxy said...

I'd like a pitcher. You know. Someone who could throw the ball. To... um... JASON VARITEK???