Tek and Papi: Fifth Inning Fiends

Two three-run home runs came in the fifth inning. One off the bat of the man above and one off the bat of the man below.

Both home runs were things of pure beauty, and each helped to ensure that no matter what John Lackey did on the mound, it wouldn't matter. I mean, Lackey was fine, going six and giving up four runs, but the offense spotted him SIXTEEN RUNS, so really, who cares? He could have given up eight and I wouldn't have cared. Any more than that would have been a little disconcerting, but that's irrelevant because he only let up four.

The only starter that didn't manage a hit to call his very own was Lowrider, but he managed an RBI. Everyone in the starting lineup had RBIs. It was an RBI party and the Red Sox showed up big time.

Wait... what? Oh. It's 7 AM, that's why I'm babbling. Sorry, this happens to me... pretty much all the time.

Where was I? Baseball! That's right. That's where I always am. After Lackey, Wheeler, Hottovy, and itty bitty baby Sox Bowden got to pitch. Not only did they not allow any runs to score, they didn't allow any hits. Sure, they sprinkled in a couple of walks, but no harm done. What a trio of delightfulness they turned into.

I know it's hard to pick offensive standouts in a game with 18 hits and 16 runs on the visitor's side of the board, but that's my job. A job that I don't get paid for, so you know I must love it. Besides Papi and Tek, we got another three hits out of Munchkin, with which he claimed three RBIs for himself. That knee really must be ok, and I will suppress all further concern from here on out. Papi had two hits... heck, the bottom of our order (Scutaro, Drew, and Tek) went 8-for-14. That's unheard of. I've never heard of that. Scutaro had four hits! Tek had four RBIs! I mean, I don't want to sound unappreciative, but this was just insanity. I've never enjoyed insanity quite as thoroughly as I did on Saturday. I guess this is what you’d call a team effort… at least that’s what I’m calling it. You can call it a sandwich for all I care.

So that was that. Next game, the Sox and Jon Lester go for a sweep. Oh, goodness, I’m so excited to find out what happened! (Spoiler: We sort of won.)