Tale of Two Games: Sox Destroy Padres' Bullpen

This is David Ortiz. You might know him as the man who took 14 pitches in the first inning.
This was a tight, exciting game, yes it was. For six and a half whole innings, this game was close and tense, and we didn't know what was going to happen. That is what I'm going to refer to as game one. Andrew Miller debuted in game one and pitched serviceably until the 6th inning when he gave up a three-run home run and blew his own game. He couldn't finish the 6th, but I can't fault him for that because game two, also known as the bottom of the seventh and beyond, made up for it. First, a quick review of game one.

The most important thing to know is that I love Dave Roberts. You also love Dave Roberts, because it's the law. Seeing his happy, healthy, smiling face makes every bit of my day a little better, even my commute. Despite his happiness, I was still a little peeved in the first inning. Why, you ask? Well, another first inning bases loaded situation came and went, and the Sox minimized their own damage. After a seven-minute 14-pitch at bat to Papi, Ronald took one pitch and boom! Out. Scutaro took five, but he also wasted the runners. I didn't appreciate that lack of effort. Still, we almost came out of game one with the lead. We settled for a tie.

Couldn't find my pictures of Ernie, so I figured Tek is always a safe bet.
The seventh was it's own beast. Almost all of the relevant offensive points for the Sox took place in the seventh. First, Munchkin and Ernie teamed up to put the Sox back on top with a walk (technically to CRW, but Munchkin grounded into a force-out and took his place on first) and a wall-ball double. Yay, we're winning! Good enough, right?

No, apparently. Because it kept going. An intentional walk to Papi to load the bases. Scutaro gets hit by a pitch... then Varitek gets hit by a pitch. We've got a three-run lead now. Reddickulous singles, two runs score. 8-3. CRW singles. Pedroia walks and Tek comes in. 9-3. Ernie singles and two come in. 11-3. Youkilis doubles and two more come in. 13-3 Sox. The Padres threw more than 60 pitches in the 7th alone. Where were all these two-out hits in April?!

CRW added one more bases-loaded walk in the 8th, just to, you know, demoralize the Padres. They looked fairly demoralized. Bud Black looked like he couldn't seem to wake up from a terrible nightmare. Dave Roberts... eh, I think he was still smiling.

You knew the game was a laugher when Don and Jerry started... well, laughing. Laughing about chickens in the crowd. Laughing about their promo. Laughing that Jerry doesn't undo his ties. I know... it has nothing to do with baseball, but I sure do enjoy listening to them go off on tangents and get so worked up that they can't breathe. It's the little things, guys.

Josh is sick, presumably from high-fiving Youkilis after Youk spit on his hands. Again, baseball players are gross! Wash your hands, you slobs. So Aceves is taking his spot in the rotation today. What are the odds that Lackey falls ill tomorrow? I really hate the thought of wasting a beautiful day at Fenway having to see Lackey pitch.