No Cookies For Anyone: Just Bruised Spines

I'm not updating the cookie chart. I didn't want to update it for the Padres series either, but in this case, there's no point. Despite the results of this afternoon's game, I'm giving two spine punches to everyone on the team. The only cookies are going to Tek, because my friend and I decided that he has to be suffering, knowing there's nothing he can do to stop this disaster theater. Yep. I'm claiming that Tek is the victim here. Tek and all the rest of us.

I'm not sure what's with this team. I feel like I've written a hundred posts just like this so far this season. They're streaky. I understand that baseball players tend to be somewhat streaky in general, but how is it that they're constantly streaking well or poorly at the same time? There's got to be some crazy voodoo involved in all of this. It wasn't bothering me so much before, and I was doing my best to find positives from the shitshow, but now it's just irritating. They're burying themselves. We are suddenly facing a 2.5 game deficit in our division.... and if they think I'm going to tolerate the Yankees being ahead of us this season, when we so clearly have the better all-around team, they are absolutely wrong. There will be smiting. So much smiting.

So let's analyze last night's game together, shall we? The Sox managed five hits off of Worley. Only one of them, John Lackey's RBI double (?!) went for extra bases. Ronald McDonald had a double off of Lee the night before. Salty had a double on Sunday. In the last three games, we have a total of three extra base hits, and none of them are better than a double. We can't use the excuse that Papi wasn't in the lineup last night. I'm not sure what excuse we CAN use. It seems that the outfield is a huge talent destroyer. Once we put someone in the outfield, they become useless... Adrian Gonzalez. Just saying. Though it's nice to see that he didn't shrivel into broken dust the minute he stepped onto the grass. So that was nice.

Lackey may have helped his own cause with the RBI, but then he detrimentally allowed the winning run to score two innings later. Was it worth it to get our hopes up, John? Was it? You just love to crush our hopes and dreams, don't you? Thanks for that. You pitched just well enough to lose, and you made kittens cry. Well done.

I don't know. I don't enjoy the way they're playing right now. I honestly hope that the upcoming hot streak will be worth the disappointing interleague play. I have to believe there's a hot streak coming, because that's their pattern, and they've programmed me to be expecting it. Can Crawford come back now, please?