Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Take on the McGwire: Boring.

Ok, I'm just going to answer the questions I've been being asked/heard over and over since yesterday when McGwire broke the 'news' that he had used steroids during his record year. Pay attention. I'm only going to address these one last time and then I am figuratively putting McGwire to bed....

Question: Can you BELIEVE that he admitted to using steroids?!
Answer: Yes.

Question: No, but I mean now! Why now?
Answer: Because he didn't get enough HOF votes, and he wants people to love him again.

Question: But he lied to congress! Doesn't that mean anything to you!?
Answer: No.

Question: He lied just like Clemens, Tejada, and possibly Schilling. Who on Earth could be next?!
Answer: Anyone who played baseball. Ever.

Question: But isn't it surprising that he admitted it?
Answer: No, and you're ridiculous for being surprised.

Question: Well, I mean, we already knew....
Answer: That wasn't a question. And yes, you did already know. Everyone already knew. This isn't shocking. The timing isn't incredible. He's not doing this for altruistic reasons.

Question: But wasn't it so he can suck up to Bed Selig and make a point that baseball is clean now?
Answer: No. Not at all. And why would he need to suck up to Selig? You're an idiot. Baseball will never be clean.

Question: Doesn't that bother you?
Answer: A little, but not enough to get all self-righteous about it. Listen, I care about the sport in general, and knowing that people are tainting it and making a mockery of it upsets me. I'm tired of hearing about steroids and PED's. The player's union is too strong. MLB is never going to be able to test for everything. And by the time they do, there will be more drugs that can't be detected. I've accepted that drug use is part of the sport, of EVERY sport. It's part of life. Athletes are people. So, unless everyone is going to start getting pissed about every little addiction (and God help you if you mess with my caffeine addiction), then I don't see the point of spotlighting PED's. Either accept it, or don't. I don't care.

Question: So.... you really don't care?
Answer: Not the least bit.

Thank you, everyone, for participating in this impromptu question and answer segment. I'd like to take this time to remind you that February 12th is Truck Day, and February 18th, as an early birthday present to me, is the day pitchers and catchers report to Ft. Myers. It's coming. I promise.

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