Tuesday, September 30, 2008

John Cena: Total Asshat

I was perusing through the wasteland known as mlb.com again today. I swear, it's a form of self-inflicted psychological torture. Anyway, I was there, and I see a link.... John Cena Backs the Rays With a Message to Sean Casey. I'm sure it's all in good fun, as it's pretty well-known that Sean Casey is a giant wrestling fan (prompting the "Wooo!" t-shirts he handed out in the clubhouse - he's buddies with the Nature Boy Rick Flair, you know.) But the fact is, John Cena is from Boston. They could have picked any no-good hack to call Casey and tease him, but a Boston boy? That's unacceptable. Poor form, John. No wonder I never liked you.

And on a side note, this is a pretty cool interview with Sean Casey. It made me smile.

I'm not going to inundate everyone with cries of "OMFG Beckett's hurt!" To be honest, I'm not worried. I haven't been worried. I know the Angels are a good team, but let's see what Jon can do before everyone jumps off a cliff in panic. Beckett isn't going to not pitch, I can just about guarantee that. An oblique strain can heal in the off-season if need-be. He'll pitch. Although this kind of messes everything up, considering Jonny pitches better at home, and Commander pitches better on the road... still not worried. We'll be fine.

Disappointed that Munchkin more than likely will not win the AL batting title. He had it wrapped up, but had one bad week, and it fell out of his hands. It's ok. He's our MVP, and we love the kid. He doesn't need your stupid batting title.

I'll be honest, I'm more than a little pissed off about Manny running his mouth. I tried to just let him go, to remember the good parts about Manny. I was a Manny-apologist. I can't do it any more. Even after his less than graceful exit, I stuck up for him. Now, he's just rubbing salt and acid in the wound. He keeps saying that the fans in Boston were so great, but at the same time, he insults how the fans live and die with the game, and expect 100% out of the team. Heaven forbid! We're paying ridiculous ticket prices in a small, cramped (but adored) ballpark so guys like Manny can get big paydays to produce for the team. And when they don't produce, yeah, we're pissed. I guess Manny doesn't understand that some people value their money, and we don't want to waste it on an expensive team that doesn't give a shit! You know, if I never read that article, perhaps I wouldn't be so infuriated with Manny.

I know Manny speaks without considering what he's saying. One minute, he says he loves Boston and there's no where else he'd rather be. The next minute, he wants to be traded. Now, he wants to stay in LA forever. He's always been like that, but to disrespect a city, a fanbase who supported his immature self for over seven seasons is just not right. You say you want us to let you be happy somewhere else? Why don't you try letting US be happy about our time spent with you, instead of turning it bitter? I never thought I'd even type this, but Manny, just shut up and go away. I don't want you in my consciousness any more.

Anyway. Different topic. I'm terribly ashamed of myself for missing the Johnny Pesky number retirement ceremony. I can't even remember what I was doing on Sunday that distracted my attention, but I missed it. Hopefully I'll see it someday. I'll have to look up videos of it.

Come on, playoffs. It's only been two days, but I already miss baseball!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Binky: No Hitter and a half

For him to come as close to a second no-hitter as he did is mind-bogglingly awesome. I wanted it for him, even if I knew he wasn't going to be left in long enough to complete it. He has one this year, and hopefully more to come in his career. I'm amazed at the pitcher he has turned into this year. Aside from a few bad starts in Toronto, can anyone say they were disappointed in Jon? I don't believe anyone could... unless he owes you money, or something silly like that.

Think about this now... with the season Lester just had, and the season Santana just had (PS - the Mets didn't really help him) ... would you still have made that trade? There are reasons for and against it, but for me, I wouldn't have made it to begin with and I still wouldn't make it now. I've mentioned before, sentimentality gets me every time, and even if he had a crappy season, I don't think I would want to see him gone.

He's not David Wells. He's not a FUPOS hired to fill in for guys that we loved and embraced. He's Jon-bleepin'-Lester. He's the Nomar, the Trot of pitching. He's OURS. He's from our farm system. We watched the kid develop into what he is RIGHT NOW. We've supported him through many bases loaded situations, we've sent him our love while he fought cancer, and we (or just me) shed a little tear of happiness and pride when he won Game 4. I still wouldn't have let Nixon walk, and I can't imagine letting this kid go. He is so loved as a baseball player.

Anyway, enough with my mushy love-filled Lester rant.... we did win the game, and the (Devil) Rays did lose their game, so we technically still have a chance at the division.

I'm looking forward to the Angels. If our Big Three are on, and our Decent One (Wakefield, presumably) is... well, decent, then we should be just fine.

I'd take Munchkin over any two players on the Angels team, anyway. I'm positive he'd take them both on and win. And then probably stand over their beaten bodies and drink a few beers, maybe flex his little munchkin arms, and laugh. Then Mikey Lowell could dump more alcohol over his little munchkin head, and only then would he morph into the superhero Pedroia the Destroia. Would you pay to see a video of that? I would.

Hell, the Angels don't even know what city they're from. Let's move them to Tennessee for the playoffs so those west coast time zones don't mess with our guys too much. They can be the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim, Burbank, Sacramento, and sometimes Tennessee... no one will notice.

Ok, I'm losing myself to ranting, so I'm just gonna wish everyone a good weekend and sign off....

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hanky Steinbrenner: Greatest Hits 2008

I'm sorry for the repetition that is likely to occur in the next few paragraphs, but I am just giggling with glee over Hank's latest rants. I've said it before, and I will not ever stop... why can't Hal be more like his brother? Did someone forget to not hug him as a child?

Anyway, with no further adieu, and in no particular order... my top 5 favorite Hank rants of the season!

1) "The biggest problem is the divisional set-up in Major League Baseball" It couldn't possibly be that the biggest problem is that you are paying a bunch of old guys with no heart millions and millions of dollars, and they still can't find a reason to help A-Rod make it to the world series (He's never been... boo hoo). Nope, that's not the problem. The problem is you're not playing in the NL West. Well, by all means, move on over to the west coast. We'll only miss you a little bit.

2) "I don't like baseball being singled out." Suddenly, five minutes after Andy Pettitte admits to using PED's, Hank has a problem with it. Why didn't he bring this up when the Mitchell Report was just under way? Oh, wait, that's right... he doesn't care so long as his guys aren't being caught. But once they admit it? He starts screaming about the NFL (who had a drug policy in place and wasn't trying to cover anything up, btw). Nice, Hank.

3) "No team I've ever seen in baseball has been decimated like this." Of course, this implies that the only team Hank HAS ever watched was... the 2008 Yankees. I mean, why bother showing any sort of reasonable thinking. This is the YANKEES he's talkin' about. I'm surprised he didn't mention how no other team is classy enough to have as many as the Yankees have. And don't be surprised if after the season is over, he awards his Yankees a special trophy for being the hurtin'-est team in the majors (even if he does think the divisions are bullshit)

4) "I'm very disappointed with the way the season has gone, period." Oh, Hank my dear... just wait until you see how the season ends!

5) "We're going to fix what we have to fix." ... 'throwing around money to all these aging stars like it's going out of style isn't working, so next year, we're going to throw around MORE money to MORE aging stars.' Brilliant.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

2008 Red Sox: Heading to the post-season, despite my skepticism

Just some comments from the scene at Fenway that I am watching on TV:

-I'm pretty sure Pedroia wasn't listening to a single question that was asked of him
-No one warned Sean Casey to wear goggles
(photos borrowed from boston.com)
-You KNOW Paps wants to shake to "Shake shake shake senora"
-I think Pedroia was trying to injure his team mates during the initial reaction
-Beckett looked like a happy little six year old girl when they were dumping champagne on his head.
-Ortiz somehow manages to look incredibly stylish during the celebration whereas everyone else looks kind of goofy/homosexual.
-John Henry still looks like Skeletor
-Julio Lugo shouldn't be allowed to celebrate with that injured quad of his. He shouldn't be allowed in the park.
-I adore the happy smile on Mike Lowell's face as he celebrates with the fans. He just makes me happy in ways I don't care to try to understand. I also think it's awesome that Mikey is the only one still wearing his jersey.
-I still think Heidi Watney is a whore.
-If someone had told me on Sunday that the Sox would clinch against either Cliff Lee or Zach Jackson, I think everyone would assume what I would have assumed.
-I'm happy for Kazerud that he gets to go to the postseason this year.
-It does not surprise me that Papelbon was the one stealing bases.
-I want a copy of the picture of Binky, Tek, and the Commander covered in champagne on the field... I want it enlarged, framed, and hung in my room, thanks.

-Off to bed now. Congratulations Tim, and congratulations to the 2008 Boston Red Sox - back in the playoffs to defend what is currently ours!

PS -Is that Mikey's wife taking the picture?... and Lugo still doesn't belong there.

Johnny Pesky: Deserving of what may come

Rumor has it that the Red Sox are finally coming around to the idea of changing their number retiring policy, so that Johnny Pesky's #6 will hang up on the Fenway facade with the other Sox greats.

It's about time that they considered changing the policy, considering their tendency to part ways with superstars before they can retire with us... Pesky deserves to have his number retired. He's been a part of the organization so long, I'm almost wondering when they're going to build him a statue...

The Globe speculates that the announcement could come as early as today. Who knows what other Sox greats could benefit from this rule change? This is a good thing

Mark Kotsay: Completely, 100% Responsible for that Loss

I'm blaming Kotsay. From where I sat, Kotsay seemed to strike out to end every big inning. He quit on a ball that quickly became a ground rule double, and when he DID decide to dive, he decided not to make the catch. He spoiled my Fenway experience last night. I'd change his nickname from C+ to F-, but I honestly don't even think he deserved the F-...

As did Francona. For Christ sake, Francona! Kotsay, Lowrie, and Bailey were killing us at the plate... and why were Kotsay and Bailey BOTH in the game on a night where we could have clinched?... And he waited until we had NO runners in scoring position to pinch hit Sean Casey? Or even to pinch run Coco Crisp? Kotsay is batting .205 or something equally as ridiculous with the Red Sox. Coco is batting over .280... who does Francona pick to start? That's right, the one who actually hits worse than Coco.

We left an army of men on base. An ARMY. Beckett hit three batters. I waited all season (including pre-season) to see Beckett pitch, and this is how he repays my love and adoration? It's cool. I still have a .750 winning percentage at games I've been to this year, so I'm not gonna complain much. I still enjoyed being at Fenway, and watching the Admiral joke around with the Indians bullpen before the game (someone from their bullpen gave Mike an Indians jacket)... I really wanted to be there for the clinching game, but no such luck for me, because Kotsay can't hit, Francona can't put together a major league lineup, and Beckett doesn't pitch well during even-numbered years!

Monday, September 22, 2008

MLB.Com: Fancy Copyrights Don't Chase Away the Stupid

I was electronically meandering around mlb.com today.... I went to check out the standings, just to refresh my memory of what our magic number is. Well, according to the math gurus over at mlb.com, the Red Sox were actually eliminated from the division. We're 1.5 back with 7 left to play, but MLB thinks that it's MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for us to win the division. Ok, sure. Maybe the 'elimination guy' just got a little "E" happy and kept right on typing. I know the joy I feel when I think, gee, those Yankees aren't gonna make the playoffs. They're 8 games back with six left to play. It's not gonna happen. *

Of course, while I was over there, I ran into the giant vomit-fest that is the Yankee Stadium last breath love fest. This is not the Yankee stadium of Gehrig and Ruth. You goddamn Yankee frauds and all the hacks that are clamoring to kiss your asses sicken me. This article, more than anything else, really annoyed me.

Yes, Babe Ruth may have hit the first home run in Yankee stadium (you know, the original one).
Jose Molina did not hit the last home run at Yankee Stadium. Duke Sims (strangely, also a catcher) did, on Sunday, Sept. 30, 1973. Because that was the last game at Yankee Stadium. It was in 1973! Not 2008! That... thing that everyone is crying over has only been around for thirty two years. It opened in 1976. So if you want to get specific, Bryan Hoch, (which I know you don't, because you're a sad little Yankee hack, writing whatever they tell you to write), you should really write an article about how Dan Ford (of the Minnesota Twins) hit the very first home run in Yankee Stadium II, and Jose Molina hit the last one.

Stop making Andy Pettite out to be some kind of a saint. Yeah, he was around for the championship run, but he LEFT NEW YORK! On his own free will! And then when the Yankees were desperately throwing around money, in need of pitching, he came back.

And then there's this... "Johnny Damon also connected on a three-run homer for the Yankees, who backed starter Andy Pettitte through five-plus innings as the left-hander -- a stalwart of the club's recent championship dynasty -- went into the books as the final winning pitcher." Recent championship dynasty? Recent? My niece and nephew weren't even alive yet when the Yankees last won a championship. In all fairness, it hasn't been decades upon decades, but to call it recent is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh! Oh! And then to basically make himself look stupid, he tosses in this, "Pettitte, the second-winningest pitcher at the remodeled Stadium to Ron Guidry (99), threw 85 pitches over his five-plus innings of work, allowing three runs (two earned) while walking one and striking out three." So the stadium only counts as being the "remodeled" stadium when trying to make Pettitte look good? Pathetic.

This is the last I will talk about Yankee Stadium. I'm so thoroughly annoyed that this crap has been shoved down my throat all season. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad the love fest can stop. I know it won't, but it can. And it should. Yeah, some great players have been through Yankee Stadium in it's 32 year existence. Let's not pretend that ALL the Yankee greats played there, because that just makes Yankee fans and Yankee writers, and ESPN, and mlb.com look incredibly stupid.

*Edit: They've now fixed the standings on mlb.com to reflect that the Sox have not yet been eliminated... even if they want them to be

Dice-K Matsuzaka: See How Fun Pitching 7 Innings Can Be?!

Wow, Dice-K, I'm impressed. Seven innings. SEVEN! Not five, not six, but seven glorious innings, with no runs and only 2 walks. Can you, I don't know... keep that up until maybe November? That would sure be swell.

I don't know how the weather is going to pan out for the rest of the day, but I'm supposed to be going to the game tonight. Josh Beckett is supposed to be pitching. If Beckett gets scrateched from his start again, for whatever reason, I'm going to break down in completely uncalled for and ridiculous tears. I just want to catch a Beckett game. Is that so much to ask? He will pitch tonight. He has to.

TBS has started their new post-season baseball campaign. Last year, everyone might try-to-forget-yet-still-remember the Dane Cook campaign they had going. It was brutal. It made me hate Dane Cook (most everyone else already hated him by this point). His stupid "There's only one OCTOBER!" phrase gave me aneurysms. "The Colorado Rockies... have you SEEN them?" Yes, Dane, I've seen them get their silly purple asses swept in the World Series! Shut up now! Back to my point... after last year's annoying ad campaign, the silly country song with clips of random stars from around baseball is refreshing. Our two representatives are Sean Casey and Jon Papelbon...

Anything with those two is bound to be far more interesting than Dane Cook.

So Bartolo Colon went home. The real reason behind his departure? He knew he had no rhythm and didn't want to be embarrased in front of the guys in the bullpen band. He knew the Admiral gets mighty unhappy if you mess up the flow of the music.

The Rays clinched a playoff spot, but we still have hope to overthrow the division leaders and take what we should have taken at the least two weeks ago. Damnit, Red Sox, we need wins!

Congratulations to Mrs. Bay and all, but we could have really used Mr. Bay in the lineup last week. I am now at the point where I am furiously sick of JD Drew and his sore back. No more passes for JD. He's on my DNC (do not cheer) list again... although it won't matter this year since he seems pretty firm about not playing.

Pray that there's no rain tonight. Thanks!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

This Series: All I Want To Say About It


that is all.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Josh Beckett: Getting Another No-Decision He Didn't Deserve

Josh Beckett does not get run support. This entire year, when he pitches great, he either loses or gets a no decision. When he's got crap for pitches, he wins. I don't understand the mentality of his team. Yeah, it's nice that they pick him up when he sucks, but can't they help him out when he's good?

He was great last night. One mistake. That's all. Just one mistake, and we end up handing him another no decision when he clearly deserved the win (IMO). Not a single person could get a hit with runners in scoring position? Pedroia, love, what's going on? You've picked the wrong time to start going cold. Ortiz, why don't you look as intimidating at the plate? When you get that look on your face, you hit. Get that look back. You know the look. Don't make me try to describe it. Asshat... forget it. It's the second half. We already got way more out of you than I ever expected. C+, you earned your nickname last night. Nothing spectacular. Lowrider, maybe I should have let Beckett set you on fire. Captain... you're making me cry. Ellsbury, what did I tell you about trying to steal off of lefties? You haven't been getting good jumps. Just stay still. Coco.... yeah. The only ones that have any excuse are Mikey Lowell and David Ortiz. They're dealing with legitimate injuries. The rest of you just need to not carry the suck around on days when the Commander's on the mound.

Beckett's slated to start next Monday (barring any kind of completely expected rotation changes). I'm going to be at the game next Monday. Now, my little stupids, by next Monday, I expect that you all remember what it's like to get Beckett a win. Got it? You better.

I can't get too mad at Fetus for the loss. He had a bad game. He had very bad timing picking when he would have that bad game, but it's still just one. I covered the inevitability of bad games yesterday. I still think Fetus is crying inside that they didn't let him wear a dress for rookie initiation day. He seemed really upset about it. Shake it off, Justin. You can go home and wear one of your wife's dresses.

Wakefield starts tonight. Keep your fingers and toes crossed that the knuckler keeps the Rays crossed up. Tim, you have your mission. Please please please don't implode tonight.

Meanwhile, let Paps keep complaining that he's only human. We know you're human, Jonathan. Robots don't get drunk.

Or do they...?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Update: The Word I Thought I Would Not Be Typing Today

I forgot to make a few points earlier that I actually really wanted to make.

JD Drew is sore. When was the last time JD Drew wasn't sore (answer: never)? He hasn't played since August. We're in the middle of a pennant race, and JD has a boo boo and doesn't want to play. Hey, JD? After hearing this, do you realize how big of a crybaby you look like?

This was going to be the year when I stopped picking on JD.... as opposed to last year when I started picking on him. Hey, if he's not on my team, he's not my problem, right? After that shock-inducing grand slam in the ALCS last year, I was ready to open my heart to the right fielder who no one really liked from the start. Sure, he was replacing on of the many loves of my life (Trot Nixon), and taking the absolute worst number he could have chosen (leaving me with a bitter reminder every day of how he was not Trot), but I was ready to cut him some slack.

Listen, JD... suck it up! I can't believe you're going to complain that you have soreness where you got a cortizone shot. Mike Lowell had three cortizone shots and has a partial tear in his labrum, but he is still playing, and he doesn't complain for a second about it. David Ortiz's wrist is hurting and popping and causing all kinds of concern, but he's playing and only talks about the injury when asked. Have you SEEN how many times Asshat has gotten hit by pitches this year? You can't tell me the guy isn't sore. But they're playing, because they know it's important to play.

I can't exactly say that I care that JD isn't playing, because the team has been fine without him. Really, my anger is in principle. He knows we should be fielding our best team, and he can't seem to take an Advil and drag his fragile ass onto the field. Sad, really. Maybe on top of his tendency toward injury, JD suffers from low self-esteem. Maybe he sees the way that people are talking about Lugo (his off-season-signing buddy) and believes that maybe we all feel the same way about him as we do about Lugo. He doesn't want to be a Lugo, living in a fantasy world where you think you deserve a starting spot, and that people want you back, and you have any kind of marketable talent. Maybe JD just thinks that we're all happier without him, and that he doesn't deserve any of the love, applause, and adoration that the other guys deserve.

Well, JD, if this is the case, then I just have this to say to you - Put a smile on that face, buddy. You'll never be POS. Actually, POS will never be you. You're far superior to him. You can hit well. You can field well. You can get injured really really well. You earned your ring in the playoffs last year (POS did not), and if we win another one this year, the tear you went on when Big Papi was hurt was enough to earn you the new one (POS had no such tear). If you're waiting for an invitation, here it is...

Come back to the lineup, JD. You are loved.

...well... not really, but you know.

Dice-K: Did they forget to tell you that you had a lead?

Really... you have a 13 run lead. You don't need to nibble around the corners. Throw heat right down the damn middle. They'll never be expecting it. This 5 IP/275 pitches crap has got to stop. Our bullpen is NOT that reliable. You really want to leave it to them in the playoffs? Thought not. Thanks for the win though.

Kazmir, at some points, looked like he was literally ready to cry. I can't remember putting a smackdown that violent on Scott Kazmir before. But I liked it. And I really hoped they saved some of that whoopass for Andy Sonestafrankensteinmonsterstein tonight. Because the Commander... he needs a little run support, too, guys.

Six home runs - Ortiz, Lowell, Bay, Varitek, Youkilis, and Ellsbury.... awesome. Grumpy, Lowrider, and Munchkin, you guys owe me two a piece tonight for your slacking off yesterday.

I guess that's really all I have to say. Stay tuned, I might think up something else... better yet, don't stay tuned. Just tune in tomorrow.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Blue Jays Series: Good Times

Yeah, I'm aware that I don't post on the weekends, and yes I know I'm late posting by my own standards, but forgive me. I've got a shiny new printer here at work and I'm trying to get it to accept and love my computer. So far, I have failed, so the Help Desk is basically trying to be a matchmaking service. Printer... I will MAKE YOU love computer, if it's the last thing I do for the day!

So anyhow.... Wakefield.... awesome. Byrd... disappointing. Colon.... didn't even realize he was scheduled to pitch, but good nonetheless. Lester... seriously, you don't know by now? Lester is money. Cash in a win with Jon on the mound. As long as Cash isn't playing, of course.

Luck went our way in this series, which is something that you really can't take for granted. If Papelbon didn't have a little luck, you're looking at a 2nd and 3rd situation with no outs, and the tying run being the guy on 2nd. Luckily, we got a bad call in our favor (to make up for all the blown HR calls this year, I suppose), and we won that third game.

On a side note... honestly, was Papelbon surprised that his high school dance video would come out eventually. And was he even really embarrassed? He should be relieved he was wearing pants... sort of.

Byrd may have been terrible in that first Saturday game, but in all fairness, he was due for a bad start. Pitchers having bad starts is just something that happens. You have to expect it, and you have to deal with it. For a gross metaphor that I tried to avoid using but couldn't, it's like that special monthly visitor that females are blessed with. You know it's due to come eventually, and yes it sucks, and probably ruins your day, but you just have to expect it. If you expect it, it's never as bad.

Ok, I have no idea where my mind is today. I'm fretting over Kazmir. I hate facing Kazmir. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy as a pitcher and watching him make teams look stupid does tend to be pretty enjoyable. You know, except for when it's the Red Sox being made to look stupid. Then I don't enjoy it. I can't even tell you the last time I used the phrase "fretting," that's how much I'm actually fretting.

I also want to point out that Carlos Zambrano is now my least favorite pitcher in baseball. After going almost the entire season with only Lester's no-hitter to adore and be proud of, Z decides it's time to take the crown of "Most Recent No-No" from Jon. We were SO CLOSE to the end of the season... two more weeks, and Jon would have been the only one this year. But it was not to be. Does this mean the Cubs are gonna win the World Series now? I mean, Clay's no-no was the last one last year, and we won it... I don't know. I'm still proud of Jon for everything he's done this year, reigning no-no crown or not.

For the record, I am aware that this blog might as well be called "I Love Jon Lester" because the dialogue has devolved into something like this "Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Munchkin Jon Jon Jon Jon! LOVE LOVE LOVE!" Please be advised that I make no promises for this to change.

Dice-K, Commander Kickass, and Timmy Wonderpitches.... gentlemen (and Josh), the season is in your hands, and.... Josh, put down the damn gun and pay attention! Like I was saying... the season is in your hands. A sweep, and the division is ours. 2-3, and we're tied. Nothing besides these two options is even halfway acceptable. They embarrased us in our house... JOSH! Stop strangling the clubhouse attendants! I'm talking to you, here!.... Sigh. Yes, right in our own house they came in and took 2 out of 3. Return the favor, and then some, with extreme prejudice. You've all had bad starts recently. It's time to man up and get the... DEAR GOD, JOSH! Why did you set Lowrie on fire?! WE NEED HIM! DO YOU REALLY WANT LUGO BACK?! No? Then put out Lowrie! And 'Tek, stop telling Josh about symbolism. Those kinds of things are dangerous in the wrong hands! Well, Jed seems to be ok. Someone get him some ointment, he'll be fine. As for you three... just win.

Friday, September 12, 2008

It's September 12.

You know, you don't have to wait another year to again say a prayer for the people that died, or to shed a tear remembering how terrified and vulnerable we felt, or even just to be a little bit nicer to someone because hey, we're all here, we're all human beings, and we're all in this together

I didn't post anything about Sept. 11 yesterday. There was a decent amount of coverage to make any of my words seem excessive.

So just for the hell of it, go ahead and say a prayer today, too. And remember for one more day before you go back to your busy lives.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Carlos Pena: His HR's should count for us.

I've stated before - he's our property, and I want him back.

This game, unlike previously stated, is not the fault of Papelbon. It's the fault of Tito, and the fault of Jason Bay.

Hey, I don't want to pile on the new guy, but when you come up to bat with runners in scoring position almost all night, and go 0-7.... well then you have to take your share of the blame. Bad nights aside, we needed a hit from him. Just one. We never got it.

I guess I could say the same about the rest of the guys in our lineup, but I don't want to waste my breath.

Tito, for all he's worth tried to avoid pitching Timlin. That's why Mike came in for the 14th inning. Tito knows The Admiral is mostly done. I hate it, I do, that Timlin just really isn't effective any more because I like him. But the truth is the truth. He has three bad games for every good one. Even Tito knows that.... and Tito's the idiot who pinch ran for Mike Lowell - and used Alex Cora.

Well, I'm frustrated and trying to apply for a Masters degree program right now, so I don't have anything else to say... I suppose I could write my leadership essay about how Tito doesn't always use critical thinking to decide NOT TO TAKE MIKE LOWELL OUT OF THE GAME. Yeah.

PS - The umps sucked last night anyway.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Jonathan Papelbon: Forgetting the "He just do" part of his quote

Yes, I was ticked off at Paps for blowing the save before even getting the first out. I was peeved when he gave up a double that almost left the park, and I was downright furious when he gave up the NEXT double to give the lead right back to the Rays. Gave it right back, I say. "Cinco Ocho" didn't know how he do, and he didn't do last night. Usually I'd be downright ticked off this morning, but extenuating circumstances have prevented me from being mad at Paps, and have instead directed my anger towards the city of Boston.... and baseballs.

Just a quick aside to explain that last part... I know I don't usually tell personal stories on this blog, but I felt the need to share. I have a fat lip this morning. It's actually pretty uncomfortable. I got this fat lip by dropping a baseball... on my face. To steal Papelbon's quote, "Jup don't know how she do, she just do." So a baseball fell on my face and that is why I do not like baseballs this morning. Ok, so that wasn't exactly "quick"

Papelbon had a bad night. He had a good one the night before, so this bad night should be voided out, but it's not. The fact of the matter is, Kazerud had JUST hit the home run to give us the lead. He JUST became the hero when Paps fell apart. It's okay though, because we know Paps will bounce back, and we'll win the series. Beckett knows when he's pitching in a big game. And damnit if I don't think he'll be ready for this.

I sometimes find it hard to remember that this is a team game, and a loss isn't an individual player loss, it's a team loss. The bats kind of sucked last night, but you know what? They'll snap out of it. I know they will.

Because if we lose tonight, I'm blaming Papelbon regardless of the events. Oh, and Kevin Cash. Damn you, Kevin Cash!

PS - Good, happy thoughts to my friend Megan and her family. Hopefully everything is going to be just fine! =)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jonathan Tyler Lester: There Goes My Hero ...

I say it all the time, but I truly mean it... I love that kid. He's been absolutely clutch for us this year. Clutch, I say! (photo from Sports Illustrated.com... and yes I'm aware it was from his no-hitter and not last night's game. Shut up)

After walking the first batter, I wasn't expecting a dominating performance out of Jon last night, but he continues to defy my expectations. He's just that good. He ended up going 7 2/3rds, then handing the ball off to our insane closer. Patmybum responded to a question from that whore Heidi Watney after the game, and I believe his answer went something like this, "Cinco Ocho don't know how he do, he just do." I wonder how long Paps has been holding on to that one? How long has that quotable gem been floating around in that big, rednecky head of his? Listen, I love the guy as our closer, but the things he says and does makes me honestly question his sanity. So, please, keep the microphones out of his face. I'd like to keep a shred of respect for him.

Munchkin does not like hitting in the 2-spot. Francona is an idiot for moving him. The kid was raking everything in sight, so he moves him up in the order, and he stops hitting. Sigh.... oh, Tito, you fool. Why do you consistently make the wrong decision about what to do with a guy when he starts hitting? I just... I just don't know about you, Francona.

Kazerud may have hit a home run last night. It's entirely possible. He's so damn quiet, I sometimes have to remind myself that he's there. Even when he's doing well, I almost convince myself that it's the other guys on the team doing what he did. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone. Considering I haven't eaten breakfast yet, and I'm super hungry, consider any logical, grammatically correct sentence a blessing.

Anyway, yesterday was consecutive sellout 456. They had nice little ceremonies since the team overtook the Cleveland Indians as the all-time consecutive sellout champions (Cleveland had 455 consecutive sellouts). My issue was this: why didn't they have the four guys who have been around during that whole span on the "Thank You" video? They had Varitek and Papi, but they didn't find it necessary to include Timlin and Wakefield? C'mon! No excuse. Both guys are healthy and on the active roster. I'm sure Tim would have loved to say thank you to the fans. For that matter, I can envision a smiling Mike thanking the fans for not making him retire (I love the Admiral). Hell, they could have had Mike and Tim standing next to each other, arms around one another's shoulders, looking into the camera and saying "Thank you fans, for hanging out with the old guys!" And that would have made me smile, and it would have been somewhat poignant. There are only four guys on the team who have been around since 2003. Let them thank everyone, and then give the camera to Paps.

For that matter, what do you think Beckett would have said? I imagine that he would have said something like, "Screw the fans. You fuckers should be thanking ME! Now get out of my way, I'm going huntin'." Of course, they would have to cut that out of the video because of Beckett not showering the fans with love and attention, but don't doubt that it would have been funny. Really, John Henry and the owners are nice and all, but John Henry kind of creeps me out, and I don't really care what he has to say. I want to hear from the guys that I've been watching for x-amount of consecutive games (listen, math... not my strong point this early, ok? You solve for x).

Regardless of how many improvements I think that video could have had, I thought it was a nice gesture. So tonight we've got Daisuke going up against Scott Kazmir. I'm expecting Bay to rake him tonight, since he IS made up of half of Kazmir, he should know what he's going to throw.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Josh Beckett: Your fly is down.

Beckett brought his A-game on Friday, and that's perfectly cool. I'm just wondering why no one is making a big deal of the fact that he was pitching with his fly down? Seriously, no one thought to tell him? Or perhaps he noticed when he got to the mound, but he thought to himself, "Fuck that. I aint lettin' no little zipper control ME. Bitch stays down." And then he proceeded to kick some ass. That's the most likely scenario I can come up with. Of course, he followed up his 5 innings by setting fire to his pants for disobedience. That's just the kind of fiery, crazy guy Josh Beckett is in my mind. The other option is he was doing it to psych out the Rangers... they come up to bat, and see Beckett. Fear enters their mind. Then they notice that his fly is down, and silently start to giggle to themselves. In that short time span, as they were giggling, Beckett has managed to embarrass them (preferrably on three pitches). Yes, that is also an acceptable scenario.
(photo from bostondirtdogs.com)

Wakefield was... not good. Not even close to good. Saturday was the biggest suckfest I've seen out of the Red Sox for a while. It's like Munchkin was trying to prove a point by not getting a hit. "Not MVP, huh? I'll show you fuckers how badly you lose when I aint hitting. Just you wait." And we waited. We waited for our pitchers to stop bleeding runs, and we waited for our hitters to put together a solid 10-run rally. But Pedroia stood firm, and hit not, and the team lost in an embarrassing fashion.

Luckily for us, the almighty short one decided that everyone had seen the error of their ways and went back to putting on an offensive show. Actually, Sunday was more like an offensive movie trailer, starring little Pedey himself. Just a brief glimpse of what he is capable of. Sure enough, we (and Byrd) kicked ass instead of getting our asses kicked.

A giant, happy welcome back to Mikey and Frankie! Honestly, it's not as if I minded their replacement players because they did really well during the injuries, but I love having these guys healthy again... I love watching Mikey do everything he does, and watching Frankie run is a thing of confusing beauty... exactly how DOES he make all of his limbs flail so much while he's moving so slowly? Amazing. Amazing happiness abounds.

(Devil) Rays are coming to town, and if we could just keep up with the pattern of sweeping them at the Fens, we should be OK, and in first place when they crawl back out of Boston. Oh please let the boys keep up the pattern, if only for this week (please let them only keep it up for this week!)...

In news from other sports... Tom Brady-gone for the season. I know I don't know very much about football, but I know this hurts the Pats. I also kind of see it as football karma. He didn't practice at all this off season, and he comes back and gets hurt before halftime of the first game. The football gods are not happy with your choices Tom. Maybe next year you can appease them better. Good luck, Matt Cassel, you're going to need it.

It's Monday. I'm tired. Today can't possibly move fast enough.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Gabe Kapler: Starring on my calendar this month

Work with me, here. Yesterday was an off-day and I've got very little to talk about.

Pawtucket beat the Yankees last night. The kids, as you know, are in the playoffs. While it is completely conceivable with all the talent we possess in our minor league systems that the kids secured victory from the New York Yankees, they actually beat the itty bity baby Yankees (you know, Melky Cabrera, Shelley Duncan, Ian Kennedy....). Our side of the fence featured a few familiar faces, such as Joe Thurston, Chris Carter, Jon Van Every, and Devern Hansack. Good job, kids! Keep on winning!

The real Yankees were actually playing the really annoying (Devil) Rays. This series played out exactly how I wanted it to, down to the tiniest of details last night. The Yankees, headed by one of their saviors - Darrel Rasner, allowed 6 runs within the first two innings. The exorcised Ray, having lost two prior games and two games on their division lead, put a serious hurt on those pinstriped players. However, the Yanks valiantly fought back and.... lost by two. Precious. Just precious. The Sox gain a game and a half, and the Yankees are reminded that they're still losers. I love it.

Beckett will be back on a strict pitch count tonight. I believe I heard 70 pitches or so, but that may have just been speculation. Mikey will be back, and Frankie will be back. Still no word on Nancy, but I'm SURE he'll be back someday.

The lack of a real game irks me. I need a Sox game. They're like drugs. You know what else is a drug? Caffeine. And I haven't had any yet. I need some of that, too....

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Me: As Lazy as the Day is Long

And lately the days have been quite long, trust me. Ok, so I haven't kept up with pretty much anything on here in a week. Let me do a quick recap:

-After losing that third game to the Yankees, we went on to win 2-3 from the CWS. Ozzie Guillen fell in love with our little Munchkin, and tried to make Michael Bowden feel bad about himself. Don't worry, folks, Bowden cares as much about Ozzie's opinions as the rest of us do. You hear them, giggle, and move on with your life.

-Munchkin has been moved to the cleanup spot, where he's been starring in his very own TV series - the Pedroia Power Hour. Granted, it's a three hour show, airing whenever the Red Sox play, but the Pedroia Power Three Hours didn't sound quite right. The little guy is just destroying everything he sees, and it's so much fun to watch. The next episode airs Friday night at 8:05 PM EST. Tune in!

-I got to see my beloved Ducky again... and for once he didn't hit everything in sight off of our pitching staff. Being around the Red Sox makes Millar a better person, I just know it does. So when does the campaign to get Millar into the announcer booth at Fenway start? Do we really have to leave him with the O's? They don't need him anyhow. Besides, when Kevin Millar smiles, the whole world smiles with him.

-Yesterday's game ended in a very Mothers' Day Miracle sort of way, with the exception being that we weren't down by five runs, and Ducky had nothing to do with the win. Maybe Orioles pitching just can't field. Really though, we would have won that game even if the pitcher hadn't thrown the ball into left.

-I was driving home from "job" when the Red Sox started their comeback yesterday. As I was driving on the Mass Pike, heading for home, those old, familiar light towers of my beloved ballpark came into view. The very goddamned second that I passed Fenway, Kotsay (from here on known as C+) hit the game tying triple. Magic happens... and it happens when I'm near Fenway. I just have really good timing, and the O's have a really bad pitching staff.

-The Commander is slated to come off the DL tomorrow, and to bring his buddy Mr. Awesome with him. If this happens, it will make me very happy, although I have my doubts about Beckett. We'll see what actually ends up happening. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

-Speaking of injuries, maybe I missed them but I haven't really heard any updates on Frankie. Is he ok? Is he coming back? I was so disheartened in Toronto when he wasn't playing any of the games... and then I found out he was hurt, and it just made me so sad. Glassman is also on the DL, and while I wish him a speedy recovery, we don't really need him that badly. The subs are filling in just fine. POS may not play again this season, and, well... who cares, really?

-Mumbles of "MVPetey" have sprung up. Nation, or Sox fans, or whatever the hell you people want to call yourselves... don't get your hopes up. Aren't the people who vote for MVP the same ones that vote for Cy Young? They'll give it to someone... anyone as long as they can avoid giving it to a Sox player. You tell me that Sabbathia really deserved the Cy Young over Beckett? Their stats were so similiar, but Beckett had that extra win... the only 20 game winner in baseball in two seasons and he didn't get the Cy? Bullshit. Pure bullshit. I don't want to hear "well Fatass pitched 40 more innings!" My response will always be - And look what that got him. Post-season sucktitude, and a Cy Young that deep down, he knows he didn't really deserve. Expect someone like Carlos Quentin in Chicago to win it. Honestly, I'd love Munchkin to win it, but I just don't see it happening.

-This entire post is turning into a Pedroia-love-fest. Can't help it, I guess. The kid is so hot right now I can't even make it into a joke of some kind. Awesome. Just awesome.