Friday, August 29, 2008

Steroid Monkey: Sucks Big Time

I have never liked Jason Giambi, and no one else should either. I didn't like him before he admitted to juicing. I wouldn't like him if he apologized to me, personally, for ruining many wonderful Red Sox games. Nothing could ever make me like him.

And yesterday... well, that was just a step in the wrong direction, Jason. That right there... those RBI's... that gives me no reason to look any more favorably on you. Asshole.

Paps, well, he was Paps. Fetus did his best, but I don't think an IBB is ever a good idea in tied game. It just never seems to work out for us. However, that was not his call, it was Tito's, and Tito made some pretty bad ones yesterday.

One thing I don't like... if you think Binky is good enough to go out and get the first two outs of the 7th when his pitch count was already over 100, just let him finish the damn inning. As soon as I saw Tito coming out of dugout, I cringed. With our bullpen, inherited runners are dangerous.

But I'll live. We still won the series. Let the Yanks have hope for another day, so when they inevitably do collapse, it will hurt that much more for them.

Funny thing, I was making my blog-rounds this morning, and I stumbled upon this at what once was called Red Sox Chick. I guess yesterday was a good day to have credit cards stolen, because something similar happened to me. Somehow, someone in Michigan got my credit card number and was trying to buy about 80 dollars worth of gas with it. Funny enough, they didn't have my credit card. I have my credit card, and I only ever got ONE. How does this happen? I can't even imagine how that would work... honestly, I'm baffled, and angry, and worried that this creep might have more information on me.

So a Red Sox loss is just a small part of the major suck that yesterday turned into.

Oh, and Commander is pushed back again. Can't say I didn't see that coming, because I so totally did.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Toronto: What A Beautiful Town

The votes are in. Toronto is favored over Montreal 1-0. I hated Montreal, but Toronto.... wow, what a nice little city. Except for the few Jays fans that booed me and my family members after the terrible Saturday game, I found people in Toronto to be just a little bit happier than the people I usually encounter in Boston. Ah, I love being a tourist and getting to see the best of everyone. I'm sure I'll have pictures uploaded within the next year or so.

Yes, Binky was terrible on Saturday. Dice wasn't nearly as bad, but he also wasn't his sharpest. Manny Delcarmen makes me cringe, guaranteed every time. Lowrider and Grumpy saved the Sunday game, CRW took a wall to the face and the Jays fans in attendance (not ALL of them... the ones sitting next to me were very quiet) booed him for being hurt. I was a little surprised about that. I was also surprised when Gaston took BJ Ryan out of the game after one inning and something like 2 and a half pitches. We swung at everything he threw. It was a very quick inning. But then they brought in this League kid who served up Lowrider's mini-bomb. Good ending. Me, and all the Sox fans around me, left the Rogers Centre happy. By the way, that is one cool ballpark. It rained for a while on Sunday, but halfway through the game, they opened the dome back up. I wish we had one of those...

Wakey was not as shaky as I expected him to be coming off the DL. Glassman is on the DL, Aardvark's on the DL, POS MIGHT not play for the rest of the season, we MIGHT be getting Mark Kotsay, the Commander MIGHT have pissed me off by suddenly being ok but not being ok enough to pitch the damn game I went to, the Pawsox are in the playoffs, Yaz is out of the hospital and is doing good, We're only 3.5 games behind the (Devil) Rays, and 2.5 ahead of the Twins, and Steroid Monkey is still an ugly cheater. Oh, and Elephant-Man Pettite got the loss. Yay. Good few days of baseball over all.

Speaking of baseball (aren't I always?)... the baseball HOF in Cooperstown is pretty damn cool. I took a picture with Ted Williams, saw the no-hitter baseballs, went through the 2007 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox display, walked the hall of plaques, and snapped a picture of Barry Bonds' record home run ball, proudly marked and displayed with the giant asterisk it deserves!

Gargoyle is going tonight against Sidney Ponson. Hope for good results. The stupid Rays are surely not going to keep losing, so we need to keep winning. Oh, and apparently this is like the last Red Sox/Yankees series in this incarnation of Yankee stadium, but since it's not even the original stadium, and they're just moving right across the street, I honestly don't see why everyone is making a big deal out of it. Burn the place down already!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Daisuke: Terrifyingly Good

Or just terrifying. I guess it depends on what inning you're watching. If it's somewhere around the 4th inning, then he's just terrifying, but most others are terrifyingly good. He's like two different pitchers. Sometimes, he's Manny Delcarmen.... putting a ton of guys on base and tempting them with their ability to score. Other times, he's Jonathan Patmybum, (hopefully) shutting down the other team's offense and preserving scorelessness. What a strange little monkey.

Speaking of monkeys, Munchkin got booted out of the game last night, and I don't blame him. I really didn't like the umpire's attitude either*. Although I never like to lose Munchkin for any amount of time, a few innings is acceptable. Let's just not make a habit out of it.

*Disclaimer: I never like umpires' attitudes. Ever.

Awesome to see my beloved Captain have 3 RBI's, which he did. Unless I miscounted, which is possible. I missed a fairly large chunk of game last night while drilling holes into my walls. I officially know how to use the cordless drill. Fear me! Or not. One way or another, you're still doing what I tell you to.

Oh yeah... the Captain. RBI's and HR's make me happy. Most of all W's make me happy. (Unless said "W" is in front of the letters "ily Mo Pena")... and we did in fact get another W. So how is it we're not gaining any ground? When the hell are those damn (Devil) Rays going to lose two or three games in a row?! They don't even have any players left!

In other news... They f*&^ing did it to me again. I can't even believe it. I was lined up... again.... to see Beckett pitch on Saturday, and they f#$%ing pushed back his start... AGAIN! The two occassions that Beckett's been scheduled to pitch a game I was scheduled to see, they gave him extra days off.

This (I'm sure of it now) is Tito's slowly executed plan to make my hot-tempered head explode. God damnit, Tito! Stop f*&#ing messing with me!

Anyway, not sure how much I'm going to be posting in the next week. We'll see how bored I get during my vacation.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Josh Beckett: I Want to Love you When You're Sad/Binky: Showstopper Extraordinare

This post gets two titles because I didn't get a chance to post yesterday and I wanted to (my office job eats up a lot of my time)

Joshua Patrick Beckett did not pitch well. But it's ok, because he's JPB. He is the Commander. He is Joshybear. He is whatever the hell I feel like calling him at the moment... but none of that detracts from the fact that he is an ace deep down. It's gotta be something about even numbered years that frightens Josh. I mean, his big successes came in 2003 and 2007. 2006 was ridiculously disappointing for him, and 2008 is looking to be mediocre at best. We've got six weeks left in the season, and Beckett hasn't really hit his stride. Even still, I wouldn't be too worried about him. He's a big game pitcher, kinda like Curt. He'll step it up when we really need him to. I truly believe he will.

Jonathan Tyler Lester was wonderful, again. He has been so often this year. Everyone has bad days, but Binky's have been few and far between, and I love it. I can't say enough good things about him. I've always wanted to see him succeed, and lookit that. It's happening. Way to go, Johnny!

Munchkin shaved. He was starting to look like a little chimpanzee, and that made me happy, but apparently he wasn't a fan of turning into Monkey-Boy. Oh well.

Kazerud hit two home runs, and had 4 RBI's for the night. It's good to see him have a big night, because I can't stress this enough... no matter how much I miss Manny, I want Kazerud to do really well here. I want him to win a World Series here (preferrably this year), and I want him to be happy doing it.

Speaking of Manny... I loved his hair cut.

The Captain also hit a home run. I'll tell you, watching him has been kind of hard for me since I found out he and Karen split. I couldn't even LOOK at him for a few days afterward. I was booing him, silently, and to myself. It was awful for me. But now, I've had a few days to let it process, and no matter what kind of life he leads outside of baseball, I just can't bring myself to hate the man. So Captain, I'm sorry that my anger got in the way of my devotion to you. I'll never boo you again... not even silently.

Phew, I feel better now.

Ok, so someone please sabotage POS's rehab. Please? Lowrie... AKA Lowrider... really SHOULD be our starting SS for the rest of the year. I enjoy not hating the short stop. Man, I miss Gonzo... I hope his knee is feeling better.

Happy Birthday, dad. Have a drink for me, where ever you are.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Binky: Strong Start, As Usual

I've really not much to say about the game last night, so I think a quick summary will work...

-Binky was awesome, again, as he tends to be. So I'm generally not surprised.
-The Admiral does not deserve to be booed, unless he signs with the Yankees, stupid Fenway fans. I have no respect for anyone who boos their own players. We've been getting more and more of it. Enough already.
-Kazerud = good
-Asshat is surprisingly overperforming in this crazy post-ASB world we live in.
-CRW has a bruised tailbone, causing us to have to watch Coco
-Jason Varitek has shattered my understanding of the world.

No, not for his lack of baseball prowess lately... I read, and heard, and received text messages this morning about the same thing. Apparently, Jason has filed for divorce from his oh-so-perfect-for-him wife. This troubles me far more than anyone who doesn't know me can possibly understand. Hell, I don't think the people who know me really understand

Say it aint so, Captain. Please say it just isn't so! My world is shattered. I will be stopping at the liquor store tonight, that's for sure.

Wow, really. That ruined my day. What's next? Is Tek going to tell me that he's signing with the Yomiuri Giants next season? God damnit!

Jimmy Fund Telethon: Call in

Now, I don't know how many people actually read this page, and I don't really need to know. But, if you're reading this, and you aren't aware, we've come upon the Jimmy Fund Telethon again....

Cancer research is near and dear to my heart. I lost one grandfather when I was a year old. I lost the other grandfather while I was in high school. I lost my father just last year to lung cancer, and my aunt is dealing with breast cancer right now. My family is very much affected by cancer, so every year, I try to give something... ANYTHING to help cancer research. I know there might come a time where I will have to face chemo treatments, or someone else I love will get a cancer diagnosis. I want to do anything I can right now to help, so if I ever need a cure, or if my sister ever needs a cure, or my mom, or my cousins, or my niece and nephew... if anyone else in my family ever needs a cure, maybe it will be there for us.

I don't know any of the kids or employees at the Dana Farber Clinic right now. I don't know any of their families. But I know what it feels like to realize there are no treatments left. I know the numb, the fear, the anger that appears when someone you love is out of options. It's an awful feeling. So even though I don't know anyone over there right now, I'd like to think that maybe my money is helping just one more family not have to feel that way. And if that's the case, I'll keep donating every year, as much as I can.

Jon Lester has a special place in my heart, because he went through it, and he's thus far been victorious. I don't know Jon personally, and I probably never will, but he got his cancer diagnosis right around the time that my father was being told there was nothing left for him but to die (thus how Lester became "Binky" to me... it was strangely comforting seeing him pitch in the majors again). Seeing someone like Jon get back on a pitching mound should inspire people. They can find cures and successful treatments, they just need the funds.

This is why I urge everyone.... donate if you can. Treatment is so much more than medicine. The people at Dana Farber do what they can to help kids still be kids while they're sick. They do so much good work. Even if they can't save everyone, they can save more than ever before. Just imagine what cancer treatment could be in the future if it had the funding it so badly needed. So call in, or click in, and pledge just a little bit of money to help the folks at Dana Farber do what they do best... make a cancer diagnosis managable.

The kids at Dana Farber are counting on you.
Call in number: 877-738-1234
or go to here

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hank Steinbrenner: So Much More Amusing Than His Brother

I got back from my (extended) lunch break, and got back to work (surfing the 'net) when I found this.

And then everyone around me wanted to know why I was laughing so loudly. (OK, they didn't hear me laughing...)

Really, Hankster? REALLY? You're going with injuries? You're going to use that one? Oh man, thank you for being so much more amusing than your brother! This really made me smile, and I'll explain why.

1) Unlike his daddy, he seems perfectly ok with third place. I can see the new "Yankee tradition" forming right now...
2) "Considering the injuries and what he's done with the bullpen without Joba, it speaks volumes to what he's capable of doing and how smart he is." You do remember who took Joba out of the pen, right Hankster? By the way, what exactly is it that my boy Joe Girardi's done with the bullpen that's so impressive?
3) "Chamberlain had become the most dominant starting pitcher in baseball..." - FALSE
In his last 10 games (out of 12 starts) he is 3-1 with a 2.61 ERA. Now, Cliff Lee, for example is 6-1 with a 2.33 ERA in the same time frame. Roy Halladay is 5-3 with a 2.18 ERA in his last 10. Or Brandon Webb, who's 6-1 with a 2.57 ERA. Even Jon Lester is 6-1 with a 2.92 ERA in his last 10. Oh, how about C.C. Sabbathia, who in his last 10 games is 7-0 with a 1.69 ERA? I'd say that's slightly more dominant than Joba's silly little numbers. Hank, do you even follow baseball?
4) "Wang has been a 19-game winner every year" - FALSE
You can't just pick and choose the years you want to include. He DID pitch in '05... and he only won 8 games. Nice try though.
5) "If the Red Sox lost (Josh) Beckett and (Jon) Lester, the whole national media would be crying about it." - FALSE
Hey... Hank? I don't know if you were aware of this, but we lost Josh Beckett at the beginning of the season. We've also had injuries to ALL OF OUR OTHER STARTERS (with the exception of Jon Lester... I'm going to knock on wood now). Including... oh, what's his name.... that guy who has 13 wins and an ERA of 2.90 for the season? Oh yeah! Dice-motherf&^%ing-K. And while we fielded all of these injuries, no one in the media so much as shed a tear for us. I don't think they like us so much.
6) "No team I've ever seen in baseball has been decimated like this." Apparently you weren't watching the 2006 Red Sox? Yeah, no one feels bad about your injuries.

"We're going to win it next year."

The universe has officially flipped upside down. Amazing.

Charlie Zink: Starring In A Debut to Remember

Ok, Zink wasn't really good last night. I'll chalk that up to him being a knuckleballer, and the knuckleball dancing in magical and mysterious ways that no one really understands. I don't think a demotion was warranted... especially since it means Paul Byrd is being added to the roster.

As if I needed any more reasons to wish Theo Epstein would spontaneously combust. Really? Paul Byrd? Are you f*&^ing kidding me? He's an HGH junkie! Theo, you idiot! Why do we need this guy on our team? You really think he's going to be any better than Dahmer? I shudder to think about the direction this team is going, since Theo doesn't seem to mind picking up drug abusers. Nice job, you useless moron. Why don't you just sign Barry Bonds to replace Mike Lowell. That seems just as logical to me*.

*Disclaimer... I don't think anything Theo does is logical. Sometimes, my distaste for Theo makes me say stupid things.

Again. We need bullpen help, and Theo gets us a drug-addict starter who I affectionately refer to as Gargoyle. Ugh..

If ever there was proof that we needed bullpen help (and maybe that Delcarmen needs to find an apartment in Pawtucket), there was last night's game. Charlie Zink allowed 8 runs, and the bullpen allowed 9 more. 9 runs from our bullpen. Charlie has an excuse... this was his first-ever major league start, and he was facing one of the best offenses in baseball. The rest of the bullpen didn't have an excuse. Thank God 2007 Okajima came to visit yesterday.

On a night where we allow 17 runs, one would assume that we lost the game. But no, thanks to some spectacular offense on our side, we ended up winning. Then again, one would assume if we scored ten runs in the first inning like we did last night, the game would have been a piece of cake. Also not true (see: Bullpen bitching, above). We ended up with 17 hits, 19 runs, 10 BB's, and 6 K's. Munchkin went 5-6. Ortiz hit 2 three-run HR's (in the first!) and a double. Asshat went 2-5, with both of his hits being HR's. It was an offensive explosion. Hopefully they saved some runs for Binky tonight. All in all, it could have gone worse for Zink, but I do think he showed enough promise to maybe get another chance some time this year.

Injury report: Mikey Lowell strained an oblique (an injury that screams Trot Nixon to me)... he's going for an MRI today, and chances are good that he's going to be placed on the DL. Sigh. Get well soon, Mikey!

In other news: Manny was tardy for his game yesterday, and he still hasn't cut his hair.
-The (Devil) Rays lost, so we gained a game on them. Hopefully, we can keep doing that whole gaining games thing....
-Julio Lugo is STILL NOT PLAYING! Thank God for small miracles!

Have a delightful Wednesday, everyone.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Nancy Drew: Providing Sweet Dreams for Yours Truly

I was able to sleep comfortably after Drew knocked in those runs. I don't care about any of the runs that came after those. Those two were the ones I loved. Those two gave me peace.

Because let's face it, there was no goddamned peace before those two RBI's. None. Beckett was pitching his angry-Texan-ass off, and our lineup looked like they were napping at the plate. No hits through six and a third innings... a perfect game through five and two thirds innings. It was looking uglier than Asshat (who, coincidentally, is the reason the no-hitter ended.... guess he was the uglier one after all).

So the Commander got his 11th win, and lowered his ERA. It's now under 4... not quite impressive, but it's ok. He's been struggling all year between being 2006 Beckett and 2007 Beckett. Last night, 2007 emerged. I loved it... in retrospect. Because, of course, when we're getting no-hit, I don't appreciate anything our starter is doing unless he's no-hitting the other team.

Some more positives about the Red Sox, because I'm in a very positive mood (I just had a piece of chocolate.. and chocolate makes everyone in officeland happy):
1) Julio "POS" Lugo was not playing last night
2) It was revealed that Charlie Zink WILL be playing
3) We won without Ortiz in the lineup
4) POS will also not be playing today!
5) We won on the road
6) We didn't lose the series - we tied!
7) Scott Feldman, the starter for the Rangers tonight, shares his name with someone who works in the next building over.... and I don't think he can really pitch effectively. Should be a good night.
8) We've got a lot of hitters whose first name begins with "J"
9) My beloved Captain is still above the Mendoza line. Yay!
10) We're only 4 games behind the Exorcised Rays instead of 5
11) POS is still hurt.

Looking forward to some good old baseball at Fenway tonight. Though I won't be there, my thoughts will be on the team that I love so much, as I shout vulgarities at them from my living room. Enjoy your Tuesday, everyone.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Dahmer: The Ultimate Buzzkill

I like the kid, and I think he's got a lot of promise, but I just don't think he can handle being in the rotation right now. Get him on that bus back down 95 and pull Fetus out of the bullpen until something calms Clay down.

Just for the record, I know he's not a kid. He's older than I am, but I'm allowed to call him whatever I want.

What is it about hotels that makes our guys stop hitting? Is it the poor choice in bedding designs? Is it the tacky curtains? How about the hideous carpeting? Why? Why can't they hit on the road? I don't understand, but I want to. I am volunteering to travel on the road with the Red Sox and find out exactly what it is about road trips that cause brain cramps, as long as I don't have to bunk with Asshat, because I'd rather commit ritualistic suicide. We need to be able to beat good teams on the road. We're a good team, too, but for some reason we're determined to keep it a secret. With aprox. 2 months left to the season, it's time to let the secret out.

The Commander on the mound tonight... I've got mixed feelings about him this year, much like he has mixed feelings about being effective. Let's hope for the good Josh tonight, and not that terrifying 2006 Josh.

I also have mixed feelings about the month of August. Too many things are changing this August, and I'm just not sure I'm happy about that. But, that's another list of stories for another time (and possibly a non-baseball related blog)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

What I think really happened

Ignoring last night's loss is the best medicine, folks. Trust me. Dahmer is just not ready for the bigs this year.

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and this is what I think really happened with all the Manny goings-on.

Scene: Red Sox clubhouse, hours before the game - June 5th

Tito: Manny, I need you to do me a favor.
Manny: Hold on, Tito, I love this song. (Manny puts his headphones back on)
Tito: No, damnit, it's important!
(Manny looks up at his manager, confused)
Manny: Ok, man, what's so important?
Tito: Youk insulted my head. He said his was shinier and balder than mine.
Manny: Ok.
Tito: I need you to tell me if you agree with him. 'Tek said it wasn't true, but Papi couldn't look me in the eyes. Casey said it wasn't true, too, but he'd never say anything to hurt anyone's feelings, so I don't believe him. I need you to be a tie breaker.
Manny: Listen, man, I aint gonna compare your heads, ok?
Tito: Manny, he insulted me! He took a shot at my livelihood and my manhood! The bald head is all I've got!
Manny: He hit you in the manhood!? Yo, man, that's so messed up. I'll take care of that little punk. No one hits my manager in the manhood.
(Manny gets up and storms out of the clubhouse)
Tito: Manny! Manny, come back, you didn't answer me! MANNY!

*Later, during the game, Youk is wiping off his head after standing up made him sweat profusely. Manny sees this as Youk rubbing it in Tito's face. He attacks, screaming "You aint got no right to hit Tito in the manhood, man!"*

End Scene.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Oakland A's: Thank you for sucking

We needed that. Three games... three wins, but most importantly... OFFENSE!

My first reaction to Jason Bay is that I like him and I hope he's very happy here for however long we end up keeping him around (contracts CAN be extended). My second reaction was that he looks like some weird combination of Scott Kazmir and John Olerud. So now, he will be forever referred to as Kazerud... or JayBay because that makes me smile.

Red Sox fans continue to disappoint me with the way they're handling the Manny situation. Can't people just respect what he did for us and leave it at that? You can't compare Kazerud and Manny because it's not fair to the new guy. And have some decency, people. No badmouthing Manny after he's gone. Move on.

Props to Mr. Mikey "Awesome" Lowell for playing through an injury that must have been bothering him for a while. I love that man.

I just wish Tampa had lost the damn game like they were supposed to yesterday. Oh well. Happy Monday, everyone.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Don't Look Back In Anger (original words by Oasis)

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Do you think you will find
A better place to play?
You said our front office is mean
By all the things that you've seen
They're driving you away
So now you're wearing Dodger blue instead
'Cuz they said the contract talk went to your head
Step outside that Fenway locker room
Stand out by that familiar place
Never take that look from off your face
Why'd you have to go and burn my heart out?
But now, Manny can't wait
He knows its his fate, he wants to say goodbye
We'll have Jason Bay
But don't look back in anger
When you go away
I never wanted to watch you go
But nobody knows if you would've played
Please don't think badly of your fans
You were our favorite man
But we lost you today
So now you're wearing Dodger blue instead
'Cuz they said the contract talk went to your head
Step outside that Fenway locker room
Stand still on that old base
Watch your home runs leave this place
'Cuz you always knew how to hit them right out...
But now, Manny can't wait
He knows it's his fate, he wants to say goodbye
I hate trading day
But don't look back in anger
When you go away
So, Manny can't wait
He knows it's fate, can't we wave goodbye?
We know he'll still play
But don't look back in anger
When you go away
So, Manny can't wait
He knows its his fate to leave us far behind
We know he'll still play
Please don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
When you go away
To my great dismay.

Hey, I never claimed to be a great lyricist.

It's so hard to say goodbye to Manny....

I will start by saying this: Damn you, Theo, you goddamned moron. What have you done?! Talk about having your head up your ass... have you not seen our bullpen? Why is trading Manny Ramirez your number one priority when we have NO reliable set-up guys?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You got SPANKED on this trade. SPANKED. I can't STAND you!

Jason Bay better be batting .500 for the rest of the damn season. Even then, he won't match what Manny brought us. And by that, I mean he won't match the joy. Manny brought me a lot of joy.

The world as I see it is broken up into three categories: Manny-bashers, Manny apologists, and Manny-neutral folks. I'm a Manny apologist, so obviously my arguments are going to be siding with good old ::sad gulp:: 24... who I guess is going to be #28 now. This is not right. This should have never happened.

To people who say this had to happen because Manny would have shut down: You. Don't. Know. That. The magic of Manny was that he was unpredictable. I believe wholeheartedly that if Manny stayed, he would have shut up and put up the numbers he needed to get that big contract, and he could have walked at the end of the year, and we could have all waved and smiled and shed a happy tear during his last at-bat, because despite all the crap that has happened, we loved our Manny. You don't get paid if you can't produce, and he would have needed to produce a lot in order to warrant that contract. Don't think for a second that Bora$ would have let him get away with that.

and now...

Dear Manny,

I hope you can be happy now. I honestly do. Watching you for these last wonderful years has been my pleasure. And now I see you're heading out west, and yes, my eyes water a little. You brought so much happiness to this city, but it always seemed to be overshadowed by the media for one reason or another. I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I blame you for how you handled it, but I will never villainize you the way the media has done. I want to thank you. Thank you for the two championships you helped bring to Boston. I'm absolutely lucky to have seen one, nevermind two. Thank you for wearing baggy uniforms and letting your hair grow. Thank you for playing the game like a little kid, the way it should be played. Thank you for admiring your home runs, high-fiving fans, hiding in the monster, bringing bottles of water on the field, cutting off throws from Damon, rolling around on the grass, and being just a fun guy to watch. Not everyone appreciated it, but I did, and damnit if I'm not missing you already. Thank you for giving this team character, and being a reason Ortiz got the chance to carry the team. Of course they had to pitch to him. Either that, or pitch to you. And you're Manny f*&^ing Ramirez. I didn't want it to end this way. I wanted you to remain a Red Sock. I wanted you to be happy here. I guess it just couldn't be, and one day I will accept this. I'll miss you and your bright smile. Nothing will ever match Manny being Manny. Thanks, Manny, and good luck.